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Me And My Cancer Adventure

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Everything went well for the following 48 hour supp chemo treatments at home. I had a surprise visit from my mother and my 2 aunts the next day which explains my absence. I had a bit of nausea and today I really feel a lot of fatigue. Generally, for the first time = not too bad. Next run Oct. 1st... yes Hallowe'en :devilish:
 
Halloween didn't start out as a scary day, or quite so hokey, however fun it is now. Hee- you should see the 12 year old this year! FUN and fall-down funny! It was meant to be just a Holy one so not a bad day for your next round. I hope you're able to sleep through the fatigue, catch up on reading, family and friends and sleep some more.

Thinking of you, sending Peace and Light. Do take care,

Anni
 
Hi Froggie

Just thought I would look in and wish you the best possible day on your treatment. I am waiting for a CAT scan, and although I am not over concerned the doubt always finds a way to creep from the shadows. I have been busy publishing a book about my cancer journey which has been a real therapeutic experience. I find writing things down helps me to face my fears, therefore writing may be something you can think about. The way I see it is my words may still be here long after I am gone. Below is something I wrote when I was feeling quite ill-

~The Demon~

I stand on the mighty plains before the demon’s lair and shout come out and fight, but the plain stays silent, for the demon has passed within me and is coursing through my veins, I say how can I fight the thing I cannot see, who will be my champion now, with heavy heart I lay down my sword.

I look toward the scalpel and the skilful hand of my surgeon to cut away the demon’s lair from deep within.

I look towards the alchemists, not for gold but for potions powerful and rare to hunt the demon down, and should my body grow weak of potion so strong I look to kindred spirit to rally and spur me on.

If I should win the fight I can rejoice in victory, but should I lose this most terrible fight I know something this most insidious of demons cannot know, as for me to lose will forge a seal upon the warrant to the demon’s own demise.

Keep up the good fight,

Steve
 
I've been wondering what my cancer is trying to tell me, why is IT there. For the past while, I've been dealing with really weird dreams borderline nightmares of the ill treatment and misrespect I've been subjected to during different periods of my life. And I keep wondering why didn't these things break me enough to have a C-PTSD. Like yesterday, I felt emotional - sadness, anger, guilt, powerless because of one that showed how my ex was with me and the kids. I guess my cancer is not only what had happened with the pedophiles, but also a lifetime of those kind of experiences. Maybe I've been dealing with a latent form of PTSD and the last experience was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I just want to perceive this cancer for it's message so thereafter, it did what IT had to do and I can go on with a better life.

((((((HUGS)))))) my friends, many thanks for your support. This keeps me going more than you could ever imagine
 
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