Is This Is Really A Guy Thing?

[ms spock]

The other day, when I was talking to this guy he told me that some men were interested in some women, but wouldn't have a relationship/and or sex with them because of who had been there before - which men that they had had sex with. I was told it was a guy thing. That a man wouldn't go there because he knew who had been there before. Is this true?

 

[ms spock]

I emailed this guy he might not want to mention that in front of rape victims or incest survivors, because they could be very distressed to hear that someone would not be interested in them, because of what had happened against their will.

What do men and women think?

 

[sea]

I was told it was a guy thing.

....An asshole-guy thing? :O_o:

 

[The Albatross]

It can be a relationship measuring stick I guess too. I doubt though that his comment had anything to do with rape, sexual abuse or incest victims or survivors. But it was you're conversation, so only you can know.

My initial reaction was like Sea's but when I've been sizing up "dateables"... I think I've been guiltiy of using that as a way to weed out potential cheaters. The men I dated where I disclosed sexual abuse and rape in my background, were a mixed bag. Half were okay, the other half thought they were being supportive by making a big show of being angry. I never dated one that was less than understanding about my experience. But maybe I was just "lucky"?

 

[godflesh]

Sounds insecure, judgmental, possessive, and juvenile to me.

 

[godflesh]

I had the opposite of this happen to me once, before I met my wife.

I was doing the internet-dating thing and was talking with a girl and she asked me if I was a virgin and when I told her I was she proceeded to tell me that we could be friends but we couldn't date. She didn't date virgins. Never talked to her again after that *shrug*

 

[Nicolette]

It takes all sorts to make up the world. Some men have codes like 'don't date your best mate's sister', others 'don't sleep with the sister of a girl you have dated' but sometimes all those "codes" go out the window when they meet someone they really like.

Mrs Spock I figure the guy you are talking about has issues with the men concerned more than the woman - it's probably an ego thing. :rolleyes:

 

[ms spock]

It can be a relationship measuring stick I guess too. I doubt though that his comment had anything to do with rape, sexual abuse or incest victims or survivors. But it was you're conversation, so only you can know.

I don't think it was about any thing like that. He was just being thoughtless.

 

[ms spock]

I never dated one that was less than understanding about my experience. But maybe I was just "lucky"?

I think you were smart and discerning The Albatross. You have a tendency in that direction that I have noticed.

 

[ms spock]

I had the opposite of this happen to me once...she asked me if I was a virgin and when I told her I was she proceeded to tell me that we could be friends but we couldn't date. She didn't date virgins.

Ok that is weird.

 

[ms spock]

.
the guy you are talking about has issues with the men concerned more than the woman - it's probably an ego thing. :rolleyes:

It could be Nicolette.

 

[ms spock]

Sounds insecure, judgmental, possessive, and juvenile to me.

Could be...