Poll Do Your Family and Friends Support You?

[Rose33]

On one hand, they kind of want to be, on the other they're confused, hurt that they can't help, annoyed, and mad at me: they don't seem to understand that It's not my fault. And their mixed feelings just hurt me.

I really don't think your parents are mad you because of your trauma, that would be really wrong and weird of them. They're your parents, they certainly love and want to help you, it's just that they probably don't know how. Don't worry, as you'll get better, your relationship with them will improve, because it's going to be easier both for you and for them.

Best luck :).

 

[Innordinate]

I said yes because I think they do try but I sabotage myself and tell myself I have no one but I think they must or they wouldn't have done what they already have for me. More like I have support I just don't know how to let people support me . So really it's no they don't. Confusing.

 

[kimba]

Part of this is my fault because it is so hard for me to admit I need help sometimes. I have very little family and what family I have is not respectful of me having PTSD. My best friend is very supportive but she has her own issues so I hate bothering her with mine.

 

[Barberian]

My wife is very supportive most of the time. Sometimes she just doesn't get it. My mother and brother don't understand. My son and his family don't come over to see me or my wife. I have no friends, haven't for over 10 years. I had some online "friends" EvE online, more like online aquaintences with a common goal, but I couldn't handle the stress from the game anymore and had to quit. I restarted playing WoW, but haven't met anybody I care to game with. I don't leave the house except to drive my wife around to pay bills and get groceries, or to go to my mental health appointments. When I drive my wife around, I stay in the truck usually. I rarely go into the store, and only during off hours when there arn't many people in the store. So, my "support structure" is basicly just my wife. I try not to lean on her too much or to talk with her about my experiences. This brings a dark shadow over our mariage. I want my relationship with her to be about positive stuff, well as postive as I can be. If it wasn't for my wife, I would probably be a street person by now, or dead.

 

[AngelaMarie]

I never had any support outside of the forum. Of course my boys support me with love and acceptance. However, anyone else in my family (when we had contact) seemed to get angry when I tried to talk about my pain from things that happened. They seemed to resent when I tried to change. Any of my so-called friends just seemed to be bored and not want to hear what I was going through.

 

[Lucille]

My family knows I have PTSD, but they don't understand it... and I'm pretty sure they don't want to. They haven't searched out information about it or about how to help me. I know they love me, but they could do better. Much better.

One thing I know for sure is that it's complicated and that it hurts. A lot. That's all I can really say right now... but there's much more I could say :notworthy:

 

[SydneyH]

I know they love me, but they could do better. Much better.

Lucille, that is EXACTLY how I feel about my parents. On good days.

On bad days, I wonder if their version of love is more about them than about me.

 

[Lucille]

Sydney, I worry about that same thing. Sometimes, I feel like they don't like to be around me because I remind them of all the bad things they've done. I don't know if that's exactly the right way to explain it though...

 

[Ruth09]

I don't get any support from my family. 1) I would have to confront my mother. 2) I would have to confront my step-father (may he burn in hell). 3) My brother is finally in a relationship where he is the happiest I have EVER seen him. (I don't want to ruin it.)

And as for friends,... None of them live in the same city as me. And the few that have actually come to my house have only stayed the weekend because they were passing through. The person they knew has changed, and they will never know that.
Sucks.

 

[SydneyH]

My parents believe their lives are right and true and good. The abuse I suffered would become a blight on that life if they were truly to engage in helping me heal.

Someone on this forum told Faith Hope Joy not to look at the words people say or write, or the feelings they profess, but ONLY at their actions. If I look at my parents' actions (or lack thereof!), the best I can say is that they are unable to provide support. I asked them for help. And while they have replied with a refrain of "love, concern, and support," their actions don't follow.

 

[Jen93]

My family knows I have PTSD, but they don't understand it... and I'm pretty sure they don't want to. They haven't searched out information about it or about how to help me. I know they love me, but they could do better. Much better.

One thing I know for sure is that it's complicated and that it hurts. A lot. That's all I can really say right now... but there's much more I could say :notworthy:

That's exactly how I feel. They don't make the attempt to UNDERSTAND the disorder and the way it changes us, they only know we act funny and have these fits of crying at random. It's as if THEY are also in denial. "Things weren't that bad, you had a lot of good times there." They can't know how we FEEL during and after either dissociating, transference, or flashbacks because they haven't experienced them-and it's a mystery to them. They want to know what goes on, but we forget ourselves.

We can't tell people just how it affects us, because when we go through it, it's hard to explain- so the ones on the outside-supporters, parents etc. should NOT only rely on us for information or details.

 

[NarcSis]

My husband has been my saviour through this whole ordeal, not only was he just accepting and willing to work with my symptoms, he went to bat for me when I couldn't face it. The rest of my family doesn't understand at all, my 'best friend' (my sister), despite having read up on PTSD and trying to learn, still gives me the Snap Out Of It or Toughen' Up routine...she also tries to perform exposures without my knowledge and tends to sabotage my recovery. My 'friends' are mostly online and virtual now as my real friends have distanced themselves from me...I'm happy for the two who have stayed. I try not to talk about it too much with them, heaven forbid they pack it in and run too.

It is really disheartening to watch the circle get smaller and see how few of the people you thought you knew will actually stand by you for the long haul. Thank God for the few.