Would You Take The Little Blue Pill?

[Belle]

Today I've been thinking alot, there was a film, dunno what it was called cos I forget useful stuff nowadays and only remember the stuff I don't want to!

But I am sure there was a film where you could take a little blue pill to forget memories of bad stuff, now did it have 'sunshine' in the title?

Anyway I digress.....would you take the pill to forget the memories and the horrible cycle of trauma memory?

Today I am thinking 'oh yes bring in on' and I can feel the cold water as it goes down. I would forget my name today to forget. I would start with the fresh slate.

Cos fed up of my brain feeling like it's on the rack. Can't leave it alone, can't stop trying to alter the memory, can't stop the anger today.

So yes I would take it, I would be first in the queue:)

 

[Muzikluvr]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Jim Carrey movie

I didn't like that movie while I was watching it. Made me sad. But, I think about it occasionally.

My answer is NO NO No No No no no! Not in a million years. Never again. I MUST know who my enemies are. I must know who has targeted me before. I must be aware of all that I've learned about who to trust and who not to trust.

I didn't remember any traumas until I was 22 years old. Then, I didn't remember that my family knew until I was about 33 years old. Too vulnerable. Too trusting. Such an easy victim.

 

[Hashi]

I love that film. (Warning - am going to give away the plot slightly talking about it.)

Isn't part of the film the idea that having the memories stops you from repeating the same mistakes? If you erase the memory, you just act the same thing out again... so you can't escape facing your destiny?

I've actually done the equivalent of taking the blue pill. All my childhood and adolescence (which were full of trauma), I'd perfected the art of distancing myself from things and living in an internal world where life outside that wasn't "real". So after I experienced the biggest trauma at age 20 I decided to make it go away, make it never have happened. And I did. I had selective amnesia for years. At first I had total amnesia and didn't even remember my name or anything about myself.

The film is true in many ways. When you don't understand what it is in your history that makes you act or feel a certain way, you repeat old patterns but with the added pain of not being able to understand yourself. It protected me for a time before I was strong enough to even try to deal with it, and since recovering memories I've often wanted to return to not knowing. But part of us will always remember and manifest what happened and it's effects.

I think it's better to process it consciously than unknowingly act as a result of it. You'd end up needing to take a blue pill every day.

 

[Happy Head]

No, I wouldn't take it. Even with all the horrors of the consequences of PTSD, my truama has made me a strong, daring, and otherwise satisfied person. Honestly, without my trauma happening, there are way to many things I've done that I probably wouldn't have. And I wouldn't trade that for the suffering any day.

 

[Lionheart]

I'd take a little purple pill if it would make this flu go away. ;)

But seriously, I have to say no. Now that I have processed the trauma, I find that I am 'strong in the broken places'. (But had you asked me this question several years ago, I would have tackled a person for the blue pill).

 

[ISupportHer]

Ohhhhh, I saw the title and thought we were talking about Viagra. Never mind.

:roflmao:

 

[heidi]

I would run wearing whatever I had on to receive that treatment were it available.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You're confusing "The Matrix" with "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". In the matrix there was the blue pill/red pill. In sunshine, the memory loss was via electronics where specific memories were deleted.

But no, no "sunshine" for me... I eff up every relationship I enter. At least now I know why. If I took the pill, I'd STILL mess up relationships but have no understanding, no memory, as to why. (This was the gist of the movie, right?)

 

[Queen Boudica]

No. The whole point of remembering and feeling the pain is that I now know why I have let myself be a victim in my marriage and why I am so scared to live my life.

I need to process what happened to me as a child and in my marriage to make sure it does not happen again and I live my life to its full potential and I don't repeat the cycle with my kids.

Although, I have complex trauma so that is a bit different to straight PTSD, where maybe a blue pill could be an option? I don't know.

 

[Sdn]

No. So much of my life was stolen by this that I have little to talk about and thus am unable to make friends. The more I work through the trauma the more nothing is left in me but seemingly hopeless holes, which themselves cause incapacitating strain. I'd be left not knowing why and would probably hate myself even more.

Worse, to deal with this I'd seek the help of those who hurt me. Learning that they can and will skillfully destroy me even as an adult was a hard lesson I almost didn't survive.

 

[Belle]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Jim Carrey movie.

Thanks :) (((Muzikluvr))) I totally get what you say about needing to have the knowledge about who to trust and who not to trust.
(((Hashi))) I kind of did the same thing by projecting what had happened onto me as what happened to a character, a 'bad character' who deserved it, who then because my idea of me. Not sure that makes sense!

my truama has made me a strong, daring, and otherwise satisfied person. Honestly, without my trauma happening, there are way to many things I've done that I probably wouldn't have. And I wouldn't trade that for the suffering any day.

Wow I am impressed with that, very inspirational, thanks for that:)

Ha ha ha you have made me laugh 'purple pill' and 'viagra':D I have never tried the latter!

Thanks for all your replies, lots of food for thought, good points about learning from trauma.

((((Heidi)))) I'm with you at the moment, defo I'd run with my pjs on and my hair a fright, and I'd tackle you for it ;)

((((ScaredOfLonely)))) Wow a movie buff, I know who to come to when I get my films mixed up and can't remember titles (most of the time!!)

 

[Belle]

But just to say in my idea of the 'blue pill' you could forget and start again, with some guarantee that because you had lost all your memories you would get a fresh identify too! So no worries about facing 'demons' who knew you.