Do You Ever Wonder "what If"

[Grama-Herc]

As I sit here looking at all the threads and their titles, my mind wondered to a thought that I felt I needed to share.

Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like if your trauma never happened?

What kind of person you would have become?

 

[shell]

Yes, but then in life there are so many what if questions.

Would I have been more like the person I would rather be, quite possibly. So many people go through some form of trauma, maybe it's how they responded to it that was different to me.

My what if question, was what if I had told the secrets I was made to keep? Would I be less traumatized, because the abuse had stopped? Would it have stopped? But then I realized for me, if I dwelled on all the what if questions in my life, I would never accomplish anything.

I chose to not go there, I would just end up feeling sorry for myself.

 

[KP the nut]

I won't go there either. I'm trying to look at the positives I have now including a new outlook on life, greater compassion and some amazing, wonderful friends on this forum and in real life.

 

[EloiseLandau]

I have been PTSD as far as as I can recall, so I cant' say. I would like to think that I became a decent person in spite of my traumas, and I am becoming...er, decent-er regardless

 

[Zef]

I've been doing this a lot lately. I think it is part of processing emotions that I've stuffed down for 30+ years. I'm allowing myself to be bitter and angry about the lost years so I can get past it.

Trying to rediscover who I could have been, so maybe I can point my future in that direction.

 

[wallflower]

YES!! I think I would have been much more like my daughter. She's so confident and she loves being around other kids and easily expresses herself. She also stands up for herself and doesn't take crap from anyone. Raising her is like having a "do-over" for all of the things that should have been different for me.

 

[reallydown]

Yup...and more often than I should...

 

[Tinyflame]

I usually don't actually, because it's unrealistic, but sometimes I do, -just 'wishful thinking'.
Wouldn't mind a 'do-over'.

 

[Heather]

I agree with Junebug a "do over", that's what I want:tup:.

 

[Venusian]

I think about it but I can't remember what I was like before it happened, I can't remember anything before it happened, nothing at all. Sometimes i wonder if she ever existed.

 

[NarcSis]

I will admit that I "What if" to the point of disruption.
I am taught that it needs to stop but to overcome it is a difficult process, realize that it's okay to fall back and forgive yourself.
"What if" this never happened to me? Life would have just gone on, I would not have had my eyes opened to this vast experience, however good or bad my days, I am learning to become a more evolved person.
"What if" we could embrace PTSD, accept it for what it is, and not let it interfere with our enjoying life?

 

[Hashi]

I think I need to grieve for it, but not get stuck in it. I find both those things difficult.