How Do You Solve Should's?

[BloomInWinter]

Great idea, Hashi!!!

 

[maddog]

In adition to replacing "should" with "could", sometimes I substitute "it would be good if..." for that same "should". This identifies the fact that it would be desirable and may be something to aim for, but removes the pressure and, more importantly, the value judgment which is so negative and intrinsic in the "should".

My T would also ban the word if he could. Thanks to his stubborn refusal to tolerate it, I now note the word any time I hear it anywhere in conversation, which can be quite amusing.

I think this is one instance where language really does matter, because we assign so much meaning to the internal dialogues we use on ourselves that it really is important to adjust them where they are setting us up to fail.

Maddog

 

[Hashi]

Great idea, Hashi

It is a great idea, I didn't mean to imply it was mine! I hope it didn't sound that way but I don't seem to be expressing myself well today. :oops:

It's a technique I heard about years ago - from Louise Hay, I think. But I shared a good idea, so good for me. ;)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This has been a very informative thread so I thank all who took part in it. I can surely use the good advice and suggestions. What a simple solution. I can use this in other areas of my life as well. Thank you again.

 

[Abstract]

Have not got time to read now but - darn those "should's"! I should be able to stop "shoulding" myself. :O_o: