' Maybe You Just Want The Attention'

[Lady of Longbourn]

I have been depressed recently. Nothing very new for me and its not the worst depression I have ever felt before as I still feel hopeful that it will at some point end.

But there is a nagging thought of maybe I am just wanting attention or pity. Maybe all this is in my head for 'attention'.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

There is nothing wrong with needing attention. The one great abyss in ourselves is the face that when we deserved attention, we were abused and neglected among other things.

So it is only natural to feel guilty for wanting attention now. I believe it is a normal human need. Mature and healthy people know how to self nurture. We are just learning. Does this make any sense.

You are very normal for what you have been throught growing up. It is a stunt in our development into being healthy adults. Wanting attention is a basic human need.

We want healty attention. Not the bad and negative attention we received so long ago. I hope this makes sense. It is my two cents worth. If it does not work for you. feel free to toss it. Big hugs.

 

[matthios]

I want attention... but historically, being depressed and suicidal have led to being ignored, so I've been spared whatever positive reinforcement on that front. I'm not you, but it makes it hard for me to imagine being depressed "for attention". This doesn't mean you don't want attention or even need it... but if anything, maybe the lack of attention is causing the depression?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I don't feel any lack of attention. I am not wanting attention.

I think (maybe) I am being misunderstood. I am feeling more along the lines of being depressed, but me thinking that maybe I am just after attention. Kind of like a parent would tell a child 'stop crying for attention'.

I hope that makes sense. :unsure:

 

[matthios]

"I don't feel any lack of attention. I am not wanting attention"... "I am just after attention."

It may make sense to you, it may make sense to someone else... it makes no sense to me.
But that doesn't mean I don't wish you'd feel a bit better. :)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

You are taking things a bit out of context Matthios, but thank you for your input.

 

[Tinyflame]

Maybe you were told that feeling badly meant you wanted attention, but you know that you don't. I would imagine that you just want out of the depression.

I hope you feel better also. :hug:

 

[KatB]

There is nothing wrong with needing attention. The one great abyss in ourselves is the face that when we deserved attention, we were abused and neglected among other things.

We want healthy attention. Not the bad and negative attention we received so long...

I understand what you meant to say here. I have a veryyy difficult time accepting this for myself,just because I know what trauma feels like and what it does. Yet, for all that I endured or even us, we dont believe we deserve it. I think like that also.

 

[JustBe]

Yup. It's that old negative self talk monster rearing it's ugly head and trying to negate our right to feel or be anything other than perfect.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I think what you said is spot on Movin'On. :)

 

[piratelady]

I understand what you mean Ayesha and have felt the same myself...and do now in fact.

Movin'On: The negative self-talk Monster is horrible, and I wish I could find some duct-tape to shut it up :)

 

[Britt.f7]

I do not wish for attention now. In fact I wish this would all go away. I was happy after my last inpatient treatment no one asked me about it at a family gathering. I would have hated that focus.

Now there were times, as a child, I had wished that my parents paid more attention to me instead of blowing things off and acting like nothing ever happened.

I think your mind is trying to disregard your legitimate feelings. There are better ways to get attention than having depression. Your mind is playing harmful tricks on you.

Hope you feel better soon, if not better, then clearer.