Shiver Flashbacks?

[user17231]

I don't know a better way to put this. I've had these for as long as I can remember. My body jerks in a sudden motion and staying there provides a "good" feeling. I never thought too much about it until I began working with my T to break down my history and feelings, etc.

Since getting off Paxil 6 weeks ago I've noticed my emotions are running much higher than they did before treatment. While I've attributed a lot of this to "breaking down walls" I've set up to protect myself, these physical jerks seem to be more frequent. I just had one now here the movement of my body was as if I was blocking an oncoming attack (something I grew up doing a lot).

Anyone else have these, know what I'm talking about or know what it's really called?

- Kyle

 

[Ice_Fire]

Hi Kyle

Yes I understand what you mean, but I don't know what it's called or anything really.

I find I shiver uncontrollably when I'm triggered and I tense up as if to ward off an attack. :(

 

[Hashi]

Hi Kyle,

Is it unwinding? Unwinding is when your body's working through a muscle memory by repeating an action/reaction from a trauma.

What happened with me was that nearly all the muscle memories that came up were processed by repeating themselves until they faded and stopped. I still have one that repeats, so I suppose it's unresolved.

Also, shaking or shivering is seen in somatic therapy as a release of fight or flight energy that's been frozen in the cells (sometimes for years). So shaking or shivering is a good thing. It can be accompanied by feeling cold, and sometimes itchy.

Of course, it might not be that. Just thought I'd mention it.

 

[Mrs. Martinez]

I almost always shiver or shake when I have a flashback. It's almost like a chill and my stomach trends to turn. It's not a pleasant feeling tho.

 

[Maggiemay]

I have very jerky muscle memories during flashbacks that hurt like hell, only just starting to understand them now. Not a nice experience! :(

 

[Abstract]

Hi Kyle,

Thank for posting this. I get variations of these quite a lot if I am understanding you. I think some of it is literally extreme fear. Like an animal gets when it is extremely frightened. And yes, I have heard that it can be releasing trauma.

A lot of mine though look less jumpy than they feel and I am frozen and can stay like that a long time. Unable to move or speak or both. I don't really know as haven't been able to ask (usually cant speak in t) but wondered if they are a type if freezing. These definitely don't feel good in any way though. I hate them. Certain flashbacks always come with this.

I think since it feels good to some extent it must be releasing something. It will be interesting to hear what others say.

 

[Zef]

I got both the shiver/twitches and the freezing. Sometimes they are accompanied by visuals or smells. . .and occasionally, by fear or anger. I see mine as a kind of exposure therapy. It's seems to be like my body is trying to relive something, but the something can't quite make it fully into my consciousness. Whatever it is is trying to become conscious.

Hope that makes sense.

 

[confusedcaregiver]

I get these all the time. Like a shiver and a flinch put together. Usually I wind up jerking my head as if I have been struck when I get that. I remember my mother was abusive though I can't really remember any details. I know I'd get hit and kicked around but even that I can only remember those words having happened, not it actually happening or how I feel about it. Bah, new to this whole thing. I have had my trauma so buried I literally did not know it was there until the last couple weeks. Took me a couple weeks to get over denial once things started coming back. And now I am here!

 

[Abstract]

I got both the shiver/twitches and the freezing. Sometimes they are accompanied by visuals or smells. . .a. It's seems to be like my body is trying to relive something, but the something can't quite make it fully into my consciousness.

Zef,
Snap. Exactly.

May I ask you or others to describe their freezes? The strange thing for me is that they seem to be different types. Some where the body is flopped and no muscle tension and some that are the opposite.

 

[Zef]

My freezes happen in a couple different ways.

The first type actually just happened a couple times as I was typing this. Sometimes my hands/upper arms, sometimes my whole body will just kinda 'pause' in whatever position it is in for a few seconds to a minute.

The other type is more major and has lasted as long as 90 minutes or so. It starts with major muscle twitching which turns into my muscles forcing me into some position. (The last dozen or so have been all my stomach muscles tightening up that I end up doing a half sit-up for as long as the muscles can support my body weight and give out.) That generally lasts 5-10 minutes. After that is the paralysis where I pretty much lose any conscious control of my body. Brain is working fine, sometimes eyes work fine, but no matter what mental tricks I play, I can't make anything move. If it is a long episode, it actually gets quite boring. :)

 

[Abstract]

The first type actually just happened a couple times as I was typing this. Sometimes my hands/upper arms, sometimes my whole body will just kinda 'pause' in whatever position it is in for a few seconds to a minute.

It starts with major muscle twitching After that is the paralysis where I pretty much lose any conscious control of my body. Brain is working fine, sometimes eyes work fine, but no matter what mental tricks I play, I can't make anything move. :)

Wow" Thanks so much. That is so similar to mine. I looked for descriptions about a year ago but struggled to find any. Although I can't say I have been bored! :laugh:

The ones when just my eyes can move are weird. Sometimes the rest of the room is a cavernous dark hole so I will try to do grounding and look for colours to describe but there are none! :rolleyes:

Most of mine are the ones you say you experience for 5-10 minutes though and they can last quite a long time. I have also had it where my hands fly up as if to protect me and I get stuck like that which feels a bit silly.

I work a lot on acceptance; not judging them or being afraid of them. I think that helps.

 

[belong to live]

I noticed with me a shivering up the spine to the back of my neck and my head has a bit of a jolt. I feel a rush although now I have worked it out it is less common now. In my near fatal accident I was crushed by a steel door and it broke my back.The door hit me on the head and knocked me out.

Like Hashi said it is fight or flight mode. If you look into it,something is triggering your brain or body and the primitive part of the brain takes over. You are then in survival mode and the brain sends messages to the adrenal glands to release adrenalin and/or cortisol hormone. This is the rush and stressed feeling I get and it's like the old saying "someone is walking over my grave"

For someone who has experienced trauma(even if it is repressed cos I don't remember the door falling on me) it is somehow stored in the mind and body.

Also check out the sympathetic nervous system as once I had a massive panic attack while driving home from my Dad's house and a massive darkness came over me and my whole body was numb and/or tingling. By the time I got home I felt drugged and like a zombie. As I walked inside slowly I noticed my left knee was stiff and painful.
Years before the door accident I had twisted that knee and now it was the same.

There are hormones and minerals that are depleted under excessive stress and you tend to feel more pain when these are low. It almost seemed like the pain and memory was always there but something had washed away my protection.