What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[AS1975]

Boo

 

[Innordinate]

This one I hate the most, at the moment. My friend says it all the time.

"I just don't know how to reply."

Gee, thanks. Thanks a lot. :meh:

Oh yeah, or she'll say "I don't know what you want me to say"

Well, if I knew that, I'd just talk to myself, instead of you, which is working out better for me right now anyways. Thanks! :sour:

 

[Tanishq]

"I just don't know how to reply."

I have heard this often. Makes me feel weaker from deep inside. Does that make you feel like this way?

I learned in such position even if you lend ear to someone, meditate on that. Tend it well with some time, some help would occur. Definitely! It will help them feeling hopes and also will give lots of courage. That will be our progress,too.

 

[saffy]

You might just be blowing things out of proportion ........

 

[JustBe]

Aaargh! I heard that one so much as a teen that I withdrew into myself and eventually left home.:mad:

 

[Mary Black]

Perhaps economic madness has made them to expect high functioning from people. It needs to be changed.

Yes, it does need to be changed. Most of that slaving away causes more harm than good. There are a lot of people out there ignoring their bodies and minds, often because they feel they have no other choice (and sometimes that might be the case).

 

[Abstract]

find a balance in a new, awesome me - without the PTSD symptoms! :)

I love this! This is the approach that helps me too. Looking back does not help me at all.

And I agree that society seems to encourage us not being in tune with our needs. Very unhealthy.

 

[Tanishq]

There are a lot of people out there ignoring their bodies and minds, often because they feel they have no other choice

This is where those negative people excel. Give person a situation where they feel no choice. Make them even more trapped and threatened. In my case, this is what happened. If I said no, they would make it more difficult for me. I tell you, we all freed. But sometimes we do get trapped and freedom becomes harder for us.

 

[Sara1999]

"Why do you think you haven't been able to get over it yet? It's been months since it happened."
-Well, I can't get over it because someone shot me in a neighborhood that I always thought was safe. How about you go and get shot, and then we can discuss time frames.

"Why were you out so late?"
-Seriously, you are suggesting that because I was out at night, it is my fault? And to answer your question, I was out so late because I worked second shift and then went over to my parents' house every night to help take care of my mom, who had been injured 6 weeks prior.

"Well, I would have..."
-Don't tell me what you would have done in that situation, because you don't know. The police and detectives told me that I did the best thing I possibly could have in that situation (I drove away, and got shot anyhow). Once again, it sounds like you are blaming me for not acting differently. But you don't take the time to weigh your options when you have a gun pointed at you. You just act.

"You should be grateful that you weren't hurt worse"
-Well, I was actually hurt pretty badly, and regardless of the severity of my injuries, I am not in an way grateful that someone shot me because I did not give them what they wanted (my car). Maybe this will change in the future, but right now gratitude is not one of my emotions surrounding being shot.

 

[KP the nut]

"Why do you think you haven't been able to get over it yet? It's been months since it happened."

I visited a psychologist to be assessed and this was one of his questions :wtf:

 

[drewb]

I haven't read the entire thread yet, but in the spirit of getting them off my chest:

"Just cheer up!"

"You need to man up." (I especially loathe this loaded phrase)

"What did you do?"

"Don't take things so personally."

I've gotten the "I don't know what to say" comments too, and while I know it'd rely a lot on context and the relationship with the speaker, personally I respond along the lines of, "Nothing, I just need someone to listen."

 

[blue-Ocean]

"Snap out of for goodness sake" that's a big no no.

"You cant still be upset by it" that's a cruel one.

"Get over whatever you need to get over"

People just don't think before they open their mouths, to them saying things like that is no big deal but to us having them said to us it is a big deal that sets us back in our recovery. If they don't know what to say I prefer they say nothing, as no words is better than words they haven't thought out before saying.