Therapy Question

[Phenioxrising]

My T is 100% human, but so compassionate. (group topic was relationships and had to bring how I fit into relating with relationships). He brought up that I'm very aware and very intelligent. As well as asked if I wanted to talk about anything, while using emotional transference to make me feel alone. I didn't say anything. But Yes I do feel alone I have friends and coping mechanisms. But my friends have their own life. I am not in a relationship, and am wondering why he brought that up if I'm not in a relationship. the emotional transference made me cry later on, and that sucked.

I have another post ("help on concerning question"). cause he's going above and beyond for my treatment. ... Whats your opinion on what might be going on and what is he implying?

 

[Abstract]

Hi,

Am I understanding correctly that he asked you if you feel lonely? I would not consider that emotional transference if that is what happened. People who are alone don't always feel lonely and also therapist will ask us questions about how we feel so that we can become aware of them and share them with someone else. It sounds like he doing very normal therapy with you.

What do you think a therapist should do? That could help you find out why you feel upset with him.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I am aware that I'm lonely just don't want to share it with others (such is life at the moment). I'm pretty sure he used emotional transferance, cause I was in a good mood prior to the question. Talking about my horeback rideing lessons. Then, got hit with an intense emotion of lonleyness.

Thats his job to decide what kind of treatment I need. I voice any problems that arise. I'm not really upset its just unsettleing......Why does he care, he can't do anything about it.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I don't understand about the transference, since I thought transference was what you you felt about your therapist when you actually felt it about someone else. I am totally confused about this topic. Could you explain what you mean and I will also look it up?

 

[Phenioxrising]

Emotional transferance is when someone consciously puts out their mood into the room. IE: Like when you walk into a room and can feel the tension. Its usually unconsiously but can learned to be controled. And you can feel what the other is feeling. ....I've experienced it when triggered and walk to close to someone, and they can feel my fear.

 

[Abstract]

It sounds like what he asked you brought out feelings you had inside you already. Someone saying something that triggers us feeling or thinking something isn't transference. It is just something bringing out our very own internal thoughts and feelings.

These are your feelings and that is OK.

If I don't like my nose and someone asks me if I don't like my nose then I am likely to start feeling all those feelings about my nose but that won't be transference. I hope that makes sense.

I think it's important as it is important to accept and take ownership of our own emotions and thoughts.

if you want to discuss this or not is a separate issue.

What do you think transference means?

 

[Abstract]

and they can feel my fear.

If they feel your fear and realise you are afraid then that isn't transference. If you thought that your therapist was afraid instead of you realising that you are then that would be transference.

Transference is when we put something onto someone else that doesn't belong with them. It's important to take ownership for our own emotions otherwise we can get into the habit of blaming others for how we feel. That is a very unhelpful pattern of behaviour to get into.

If you were not lonely in your life; did not mind someone speaking about loneliness and if your therapist was lonely and then you started feeling lonely and thinking it was you then that would be different.

Transference can also be when we see our therapist as having motivations that are someone elses. Like our own or like a parents.

Monster is right with the definition.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Yes those are good points. Emotional transference goes along with Freuds theory self pity+ love = better view of ones self. So the person can love themselves.

If you ever were standing next to a person who is pissed off and suddenly find yourself irritated for no reason. The other persons intense emotions their giving out, transfers to you.

 

[Phenioxrising]

True,, might have been over thinking it.

 

[Abstract]

I think it would be worthwhile considering if you do that generally. I mean see others as causing the feelings and thoughts you have. That might be helpful for you.

As for the lonliness: I think it is Ok to say you don't want to discuss something. But it helped me to realise that therapists can't read our minds so he wouldn't realise this was a subject you don't want to discuss without you telling him. And often a lot of good in therapy can come from discussing things we find hard. Good luck!

 

[Phenioxrising]

No I didn't mean to say I don't own up to my feelings. Just was a possibility, since I had been in a good mood then all of a sudden felt an intense feeling of lonlyness without thinking of anything else. Just thought it was a possibility. Also of course they would bring topics up that I would find difficult to talk about. Deffinition af therapy. Nothing personal to you, just what therapy is for.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I re-looked it up and was meaning counter transferance. But, you have valid points.