Decreasing Therapy?

[Hashi]

My therapist told me I didn't need to remember that part.

My therapist has told me I don't need to remember everything, as well. It's such a relief, and it makes sense too. I only have to remember enough.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you everyone for those posts. I just don't have the way to read everything, but I super-relate to Abstract's post #19, wow Abstract, I think you are so right. And memory, trust and such. And also QP, your's #22, as well. Boy that's mostly how I've felt too.

I hope QP, you listen to these good posts. I was and in some ways are where you are. I have learned I guess (just today it's hit me) it's inevitable (yet also 'sane' and prudent, though it feels like a painful and awful dreaded reality) that if I don't learn how to "take care of myself", that is in doing what is necessary for health and to deal with this, to make that a priority instead of the last thing (or avoid it entirely), I won't make out very well. Things like eating, rest, facing things I don't want to, etc etc. Trust (?). Abstract is right too, I think, the suicidal ideation can really get out of control before you realize it.

I think, and/or hope, there will come a time when doing that- treating ourselves (myself anyway) 'well' will feel 'ok', not bad, I will be able to feel 'entitled' to it (maybe), or just 'ok' about it.

(((((QP))))), if you accept them. Best wishes.

 

[Abstract]

My therapist told me I didn't need to remember that part.

My therapist has told me I don't need to remember everything, as well.

Hi Safenow and Hashi,
If you feel inclined would you mind explaining to me how that works? Am I right in thinking the only way to improve flashbacks is to process the trauma? I have so little actual experience of dealing with this stuff (in therapy and out) as it is a new concept that it may be part of my life.

QP, I hope you don't mind me asking here on your thread.:unsure:

 

[safenow]

If you feel inclined would you mind explaining to me how that works? Am I right in thinking the only way to improve flashbacks is to process the trauma?

How what works? Not remembering the middle? How to process trauma? Please explain your question. Thank you.

Yes, the only way to improve flashbacks is to process the trauma. But you need to be in a safe place to do that. You need to be sure you can ground should you need to.

 

[Abstract]

How what works?

How one can process the trauma without dealing with the middle bit of the trauma or without remembering. Sorry! Hope that is clearer! :O_o:

Sorry safenow as I seem to be picking your brain from every direction. Thank you.

 

[safenow]

In order to not distract from this thread, I sent you a message from my journal. page 14, #348.

 

[quaintpapercut]

And sadly as I started having some awareness of it and tried to express what was happeningh my therapist was not able to understand it at all and just insisted I must be feeling things. Which left me confused self doubting and feeling a little crazy as I had not met others who had this type of experience.

That's horrible. If my therapist made me feel that way for not remembering things I would of surely thought I was on a short train ride to crazy town!

I don't really remember things week to week and between sessions. I can remember going and leaving and some parts between but often I don't remember a lot of the content. It's a good and bad thing that my therapist has a good memory because in our last session he used a lot of examples from past behaviour as to why I should not decrease therapy so much. Once he does bring it up though I will have some recall.

Someone said to me that maybe it is about not yet feeling safe enough to have those thoughts or feelings in therapy yet.

I think that person is right. I was told the same thing.

I have to say I had one moment where I had a connection to one thing and freaked me out.

Me to. It makes me very frightened as to the reaction I will have if I actually feel all of these things that happened to me. I'm fine without remembering the middle to.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me safenow :hug:. I'm glad your therapist didn't make you feel like you had to relive such a traumatic thing.

 

[quaintpapercut]

I think, and/or hope, there will come a time when doing that- treating ourselves (myself anyway) 'well' will feel 'ok', not bad, I will be able to feel 'entitled' to it (maybe), or just 'ok' about it.

I hope so to Junebug!

I accept them. Thank you :)

In order to not distract from this thread, I sent you a message from my journal. page 14, #348.

Never a distraction so feel free to share. I like how these threads change and evolve. I think its an indicator of good conversation :).

 

[piratelady]

Am I right in thinking the only way to improve flashbacks is to process the trauma?

It was explained to me that one needs to process the feelings associated with the trauma. Regardless of how much you remember, you still have feelings regarding what happened. It is the feelings that must be dealt with and you will begin to heal. Think of it like you break your leg. You go to the doctor, it doesn't matter how you broke it you still need a cast.

Edited to add....
There is a lot that happened to me during the summer before my senior year in high school. I remember nothing of what happened, but it changed me and still affects me to this day. For a long time I actually created more anxiety for myself by trying to remember. Then I realized (because someone told me) that I need to focus on processing how I feel about it. Since then, that is where my focus is - it is on the anxiety and other problems that the mystery summer created. Since then, I have gotten better. I'm not there yet, but am seeing improvement.

 

[quaintpapercut]

It can be a difficult concept to grasp (at least for me) as its hard for me to understand that I have been so profoundly impacted by something I have little recollection of. I think there is a lot to process without remembering the actual content as the body remembers (anxiety) even when our mind doesn't.

I'm glad your seeing improvements piratelady! That's awesome. I wish we had a cheerleader emoticon :D.

 

[safenow]

I wish we had a cheerleader emoticon :D.

I do too. So many of us want to appaud the good work that so many do. Words don't always convey what we feel. At least I don't know words to express certain things.

one needs to process the feelings associated with the trauma.

Exactly.

 

[Tinyflame]

It can be a difficult concept to grasp (at least for me) as its hard for me to understand that I have been so profoundly impacted by something I have little recollection of.

Same here. Not a lack of recollection but a lifetime of minimizing it, and purposefully not thinking of it.

I don't really remember things week to week and between sessions. I can remember going and leaving and some parts between but often I don't remember a lot of the content. It's a good and bad thing that my therapist has a good memory because in our last session he used a lot of examples from past behaviour as to why I should not decrease therapy so much. Once he does bring it up though I will have some recall.

It makes me very frightened as to the reaction I will have if I actually feel all of these things that happened to me.
(I'm fine without remembering the middle too.)

Exactly.

(((((((((QP))))))