What Do You Really Think Of Others (with Ptsd) Who Have Less Trauma Than You?

[Tudagih]

I just didn't understand.

Most people have that problem on so many levels.

 

[XXXXXoXXXXXX]

I just didn't understand.

Utej, if you don't mind me asking, what changed your mind?

 

[XXXXXoXXXXXX]

Thanks for all the thoughts on here everyone. They are all valuable.

 

[Evugep]

I know that my trauma isnt at all close to being as bad as others one this forum. And I agree with most people that this is a very subjective discussion and its hard to judge something that you know nothing about.

 

[Bago]

I suppose one way you could compare it to is phobias.

A fear of heights or spiders are generally well accepted and very common, a fear of fabrics or plants however is not.

To the people that have these phobias it's very real but to everyone else it's nothing.

 

[Pefa]

I know that my trauma isnt at all close to being as bad as others one this forum

Evugep,

I guess there are maybe a few considerations:

The first is that lets say someone being locked up, tortured and raped for 10 years is not going to be the same thing as being raped once.

The second is that when it comes to our own trauma it seems that often we are not able to see it clearly and minimise it a lot. That means that we usually view someone else with similar experiences very differently to the way we view ourselves.

The third is that other factors affect how severely we are affected by something and how much we recover. Like resilience, support, treatment and personality traits. That PTSD is not as simple as trauma = PTSD.

You have been injured and you deserve healing.

 

[Salo]

It would be helpful if people could be honest here...
What thoughts go through your head?

As far as I'm concerned, if someone's diagnosed with PTSD then they've got PTSD. If they've got PTSD then they've got as much right to be here as anyone else, as much right to post, as much right to have therapy, and as much right to talk about symptoms.

Being honest, it can be difficult if people won't accept that what happened to them was a trauma. I understand that some people need to post about that, we all have stuff we need to work through. That's what the site is for. What I mean is when people keep posting, over and over, that they don't think they deserve to be here or don't deserve therapy or whatever. I think a person can get stuck at that point. They get into a comfort zone and I think it can become avoidance because it saves them from working on recovery.

Something I don't understand. Even if you do think another person's trauma was worse (I don't agree you can decide that, but even if you do), why does that stop you getting help with your own? Do you not go to the hospital for a broken ankle because you know that there are other people with much worse multiple leg fractures?

 

[Zofuw]

I don't know about lesser trauma. When someone has been through something and it has devastated them, I feel a need to protect and shelter them. I don't know if I'm judging them or not, I guess I just see them struggling with it and if it seems like more than they can handle, I try to give them a safe place. I do know that I judge myself. Sometimes I look around here and see people who have been through so much more than I have and I wonder why I am such a mess. Yes, I've been through a lot, but if they're at a better place than I am after all they've been through- shouldn't I be able to toughen up and move on?

 

[XXXXXoXXXXXX]

Something I don't understand.

Thanks for your thoughts Salo.

May I ask something if you don't mind? Have you ever gone through that point of not being able to see your experiences as trauma? I am trying to figure something out here.

shouldn't I be able to toughen up and move on?

Zofuw, it seems a lot of us do that. I guess if we are generally judging and critical of ourselves it is maybe another expression of that.

That is a big one for me too. I try to remind myself that we can't always see the way others are affected and that many things contribute but it is hard.

 

[Vavubu]

I've been thinking thoughts about those with less amount of traumas than me that I'm really ashamed of! Felt cold and indifferent when people "whine" about "small stuff". - I do so in my normal life too, feel those "ugly" feelings and think thoughts I'm ashamed of. But I realized that I am like that due to the severity of my PTSD(complex). And my incapability to feel "proper feelings" at all. I feel numb, and as if I still live in a "war-zone". So when I think like that about others it's a sign of how much I have to work with.

The "real me" think it's so beautiful when a person show real emotions and cry over things that hurt them. And "real me" know that being hit once or abandoned by a boyfriend or such, is not "small stuff". But the "numb"/sick me think being physically abused is "nothing"..

 

[Awutu]

I must admit I feel angry when I hear the drivel that comes from stupid teenage girls who think their boyfriend not talking to them is the end of the world. It's nothing, get over it.

However, if something which has happened to someone has caused them that much pain that they have now had to seek some kind of therapy or professional help. I respect that as someone who really needs all the support they can get.

 

[XXXXXoXXXXXX]

it can be difficult if people won't accept that what happened to them was a trauma

I think this hits on another aspect of this. That I am aware of/think that talking about it repeatedly will just annoy people. I annoy me so how on earth won't others feel that way. In a way I think not talking about how huge this is in my mind keeps me more stuck.

Thinking these things certainly blocks me and keeps me stuck. But I almost think not discussing how severe its impact is despite my best efforts may also be unhelpful. It seems to be beyond my ability to reason it out. It does not come from a calm place at all.

If anyone has not had these feelings at some point then I would be interested in knowing if they, on the whole, tend not to suffer from self doubt.