Ohhhh So Horrible, Having To Tell My Therapist About The Trauma

[Hashi]

I hope it uhm sounds as friendly as I mean it.

Yes, it does. Thank you.

You really do sound different from me! I'm glad you have found a way that works for you.

Sorry for the icky analogy!

It's a good analogy. My therapist would approve, she's all for the idea of cleansing and getting the poison out. Thank you for the encouragement.

 

[piratelady]

I'm just looking for some sympathy, a "me too" or a kind word

...Me too.

The timing of your thread is kind of funny to me. I just got home from this week's therapy appointment and was going to start a similar thread...sorry if I'm hijacking yours, just say the word and I can make a new thread.

For a while now, the focus of my therapy has been on stabilizing my life, getting through the depression, etc. Well, apparently I'm stable enough.... Next week we dive into the trauma. On one hand I am glad - it is a step in the "healing" direction. On the other hand I am incredibly anxious. I don't know how I am going to do this.

He did tell me that we will just sort of skim the surface and then go from there. The minute I made that decision to start the trauma work, the anxiety started (he gave me a choice...trauma work or space out the appointments more and focus on symptom management).

 

[The Albatross]

Manage the stress and try to remind yourself that it was your own decision. I'm rooting for you Pirate Lady.

 

[Hashi]

Oh piratelady, so sorry you're another of us feeling this. You're not hijacking at all, I hope anyone will join in on this topic if they want to.

Next week we dive into the trauma. On one hand I am glad - it is a step in the "healing" direction. On the other hand I am incredibly anxious. I don't know how I am going to do this.

My anxiety gets so bad around disclosing and talking about the trauma. I have to be aware that it's not only if I think directly about it, but generalised anxiety can get much worse. I found obsessive compulsive disorder symptoms twice as bad last night than a few days ago (literally twice - I monitor them as one way of managing). My stress and edginess are really high. I have to keep telling myself it's because of therapy, don't worry, this is to be expected. While really I'm thinking :mad::mad::mad:

I hope the responses here will help you as much as they're helping me. We can do this.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

To Rightkindofme:

I think that you have become a beautiful soul who is meant to help other's who are not able to find the words of their abuse without someone beginning the conversation they have not been able to find the words to start!

I applaud you in so many ways. You seem like an adorable survivor of the 'unspeakable' pain many of us have and are usually unable to express. THANK YOU!

POWER TO YOU for being able to be 'out' about it!! It IS important, to let others' know you are 'safe' to talk to!

You SO BEAUTIFULLY, and PERFECTLY stated exactly what was needed.

You are SO NOT weird....I think you are a GIFT!! :)

 

[rightkindofme]

To Rightkindofme:

I think that you have become a beautiful soul who is meant to help other's who are not able to find the words of their abuse without someone beginning the conversation they have not been able to find the words to start!

You seem like an adorable survivor
(I cut stuff)
I think you are a GIFT!! :)

I appreciate you like no ones business. The adorable part made me giggle. I was having a hard day. That felt perfectly charming. Thank you.

Thank you.

 

[Becky_From_Canada]

I've been with my therapist for over two years and it's only now that I've started to talk about some of the worst of the trauma. I'm going through this now, and the process just sucks. We're doing it in the form of a trauma narrative, where I write down (during the session) what happened, and then I read it back bit by bit and we talk about it as we go. It is really difficult, and I've been on a hellish roller coaster this week. But I do think that, as you say, the other side of the telling will be better.

Becky

 

[DharmaGirl]

Me too! It took 2 months to actually start telling. Part of it was so awful that I've never seen anyone write about it. I don't know how I overcame it.

 

[piratelady]

The responses to this thread have been helpful to me as well. It is great to have others either going through, or having gone through the same things. It is a great support.

I have to keep telling myself it's because of therapy, don't worry, this is to be expected. While really I'm thinking

I was doing the same last night. It was time for me to go to bed and I just couldn't shut my brain off. It started as anxiety about next weeks appointment in general, then about which traumas I would talk about. I kept trying to stop the racing thoughts, telling myself I have a week to figure it out and it will be ok. It did not work. Eventually I wound up just ruminating on different traumatic events. I got no sleep last night.

Just don't ABHOR..

I don't understand this.

 

[Abstract]

We can do this.

Yes you can do this Hashi.

And :mad::mad::mad: is perfectly appropriate even though just plain horrid.

 

[Abstract]

Piratelady hugs if Ok.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Hashi,

Hope posting here I not counter productive but I jut wanted to send you some support. You can do this. And what you cant do is fine too.