Weaning Off Anti-depressants And Anti Anxiety Medications. How To Deal With Arising Feelings?

[The Albatross]

Finding the off switch for the anxiety takes practice... it is like taking the training wheels of a bicycle. Honest. You will get this. Before, the medicine did it for you. Whatever you are feeling, can pass when you push past it like someone blocking the door to the exit. It can be "there" and not interfere too much with the day. Remember when we talked some about learning to hold uncomfortable feelings? This is it. It can happen.

 

[just me here]

Reading the thread so far has been a help to me, thanks for that.

I am getting off Klonopin, I was taking 2.0 mg /day, four years. I am 7 weeks in, dropping one eighth of my long term dosage per week. Today I will only take .125 mg. Next week hopefully I will be able to get completely off.

In the past I have stopped using Vicadin, quit smoking, stepped away from marijuana, cut my alcohol consumption down to near none. All of those experiences made me feel like I knew about and could handle what I thought were withdrawals. I didn't know anything about what this is like.

They say that quitting tobacco is as hard as quitting heroin. I never believed that. After feeling the body aches and nausea and shakes and insomnia and sweats/chills and waves of anger and frustration associated with a pretty tame pharmaceutical like klonopin, I have to believe the withdrawals from a strong opiate like heroin are hell on earth.

Tobacco was a walk in the park compared to this, Vicodin wasn't anything like this either (I didn't let myself abuse Vicodin very long before I asked to be given something else and dropped the prescription off at my doctors office).

We can do this, I can do it, you are doing it, we will look back at this and be proud of our efforts and glad for the rewards some day. hopefully pretty soon, this is difficult stuff.

Thanks for sharing Ms. Spock. The thread has helped me some today.

 

[ms spock]

It is week five of no meds. It has been tough.

I am grateful that I am hanging in there despite how bad the SI is at the moment. I feel like I will never get better and that things will always feel so bad. I am grateful that I am aware that this is a feeling.

Quite a bit of stuff is coming up.

I have to ease up on my self. I am too harsh on myself. My family is not my fault.

I can make a difference in my life today. Doesn't really feel like it but I know it is true.

I am immensely grateful for this forum. I am grateful for people's advice on how to keep going.

 

[ms spock]

We can do this, I can do it, you are doing it, we will look back at this and be proud of our efforts and glad for the rewards some day. hopefully pretty soon, this is difficult stuff.

Keep on going just me here.

 

[ms spock]

Did two short walks so exercised. Also gardened for twenty minutes.

Set my self four tasks, did them and feel much better now.

Reading a book on cognitive thinking about how doing things that are hard are good and build resilience. I am doing this. I am building resilience!

 

[just me here]

Resilience means thick skin in my lexicon. Thats not a bad thing to think about yourself at all, thick skin is a positive attribute. I like to think this is building character. To me that means building the strength to be true to my self and stay with my decisions even when it hurts. Building the strength of my convictions, if that's clearer and easier to relate to. Resilience and character. Worth the work I think.

 

[ms spock]

Been doing things around the house this morning. Got a little bit done.

 

[ms spock]

Resilience also means bounce back to me.

 

[just me here]

I am now taking 1/8th of my prescribed dosage. Very sick today, after an argument with my wife last night I couldn't sleep and called in sick today. My boss knows whats up, he has let me lighten my load a bit and assigned me more work that doesn't require as much interaction. I will get through this with my job and my marriage and my health intact, I will have more energy and a reminder that I can finish what I start, resilience and character and proof of my own inner strength to help me when I doubt it. Are you still on track for a positive outcome Ms.Spock? Live long and prosper...........sorry, you know I just had to do that. Good thoughts your way.

 

[ms spock]

*smiles at just me here*

I am struggling but I am hanging in here.

The bonus of the medication was that I learnt how to manage better. I stopped having 20 plus years of nightmares and so many panic attacks. I acquired skills.

The downside of being off the medication is learning how to deal with all the underlying stuff. I am finding it hard to deal with life stone cold sober without medication as my psychiatrist put it last Tuesday. It is going to take time. I am dealing with complex trauma and I am finding that challenging.

So much self hatred, helplessness and hopelessness has come up. But today I pulled it together and went to yoga and out with another artist to draw for part of the day. I really just wanted to go back to bed today. I felt ghastly. But pushing through it was good and I had some less awful feeling moments today. I am thinking it will take me 6 or 12 months to get on top of this.

 

[ms spock]

I woke up feeling good this morning for the first time in ages. This lasted about half the day.

 

[ms spock]

I am dealing with starting over again and I am finding it hard. I am hoping that I can stick with it. It is most challenging.

I am making small changes. Sometimes it feels like I will never get there but I keep on going. It is taking time. I will do it. It certainly is taking effort, grit and time.

I am trudging along.

It felt like I could this morning but not this afternoon. But I will take a break, write a list then do some more stuff.

I can sometimes see where I am going. I am finding it tough, at at some point I need to work through this and get to the other side. So I am doing it.