Talking Trauma With Therapist.

[Honeyflower]

Hi I am newly joined.

I am talking about trauma with my therapist and finding this very challenging and very difficult, When I come away from my sessions I feel distressed and guilty, I have never talked to anyone about what happened to me before.
I am not sleeping well it is playing on my mind most days, I want this all to go away.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

Hi Honeyflower, I have been there and I think most of us on this forum have. My advice would be to make sure you trust your therapist, make sure to go at a pace which is somewhat comfortable for you, and make sure you and your therapist are doing grounding/relaxation work so you have techniques to deal with what comes up. I believe that there is a fine line between therapy that is healing and therapy that is retraumatizing, and sometimes it feels like to much because it IS too much. (At the time.) Of course I am a long way from healing myself, so my advice may be fear-ridded and overly cautious.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

* fear-ridden*

 

[Rumors]

Welcome and hang in there!

I feel the same way. It is the hardest thing in the world to tell your secrets. Especially if you are a master secret keeper like most of us are! I think it is the most vulnerable I have ever been in my life excluding my secrets.

It has taken me almost a year and a half to be able to talk about my family without feeling guilty like I have betrayed them somehow. I have only been able to breeze over some trauma issues but slowly I can feel the conversation moving back towards those things. It isn't easy! I can tell you that because my T was patient and didn't push me beyond my limit, I have hung in there and built some trust for the first time in my life. I have actually told secrets and nothing catastrophic happened. No one died, no one found out, no one disowned me, no one criticized me, no one told me it was my fault.

Find your comfort zone, go at your own speed (as long as you don't have financial restraints), and take the time to realize that it is ok to tell these things. Trauma is an ugly thing to carry around by yourself! As they say, you are only as sick as your secrets! Hang in there! Sending you loads of strength to keep moving forward!

Best wishes!

 

[Misul]

I've also been there and it still happens a lot. Sometimes it's hard to go back to therapy because I used to think that therapy would always make me feel better. Sometimes I leave feeling worse, but you have to keep your eye on the big picture. Running away from the emotion is not dealing with it. Hang in there, you can do it.

 

[cherryblossom]

Unfortunately therapy isn't easy. You will feel distressed afterwards. It's all part of the process. You will feel a whole lot worse before you even begin to feel better. I hope you have support in real life and someone who you can trust to help you along while you go through this difficult process.

I know it feels like hell while you are going through it, but it is so worth it in the end. Remember to look after yourself between therapy sessions, and do lots of nice things for yourself - self nurture. Good luck :tup:

 

[Honeyflower]

Thank you everyone for taking the time in replying and reading this I really appreciate the feedback.

My therapist tells me to take an hour or so to wind down after each session, I at times find it hard to talk to her but when I do I feel pathetic, Does anyone else feel like this? Do you also feel stupid crying in front of your therapist?

 

[Hashi]

Do you also feel stupid crying in front of your therapist?

I think therapists must be used to clients crying. Mine certainly is! She doesn't think it's stupid, she thinks it's a good thing. But if you feel stupid, is that something you can talk to her about? I think it helps to talk to our therapists about anything that we feel awkward about. Then they can reassure us, and ask if there are things they could do to make it less awkward.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

I think there can be an inherent loss of dignity in the therapy room, and you have to balance the sessions in a way that that vulnerability doesn't overwhelm your nervous system. Yes, I feel the same way in therapy sometimes.

 

[Rumors]

I can't speak for crying because I have never really done that, however I am proud of you for being able to express that part of yourself and it truly isn't pathetic. It is a sign of strength, courage, and healing to share your inner most feelings. There is nothing pathetic about trying to be the best and most healthy person you can be.

I have found that learning to take care of myself has been the hardest part of my healing process. Figuring out that it is ok to put myself first has been tough. Actually it is better than ok. I can't be a good mom, wife, friend, etc. if I don't take care of myself. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself in mind, body, and spirit. Perhaps just saying the words, "I give myself permission to heal" will set you free of feeling pathetic during the process. In any case, keep the faith! You are worthy of peace and happiness!!!

 

[MomOfTwo]

Therapy is a tough journey and I think many times I do feel worse but I have someone who validates what I am feeling instead of my family who always makes me feel that there is something wrong with me. I have learned it has nothing to do with me.