What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[zaniara]

Determined, wobbly, strong and fragile at the same time, angry at PTSD and the depression and refusing to let it win today. Chaos inside, but I'm keeping on top of it just this moment by doing stuff instead of sitting still. (Sitting still would be to get lost again.) A mix of feelings going on: can't really figure them all out, but cried some this morning. That felt good for a change. (Since it's better than being lost in dissociation, hell and SI's.)

 

[digger]

:wideeyed: How old are your son?

15

 

[zaniara]

15

Oh.... Does he do stuff like that often?? :eek: :laugh: Sorry.. :sorry: I understand that it might not be so fun in real life. But the image of the electric sander being picked apart on the table made me laugh.. Kids.. I know now why people get grey hairs.. (somehow my 15-year old twins give me more grey hair now than they did when they were small kids.)

 

[digger]

But the image of the electric sander being picked apart on the table made me laugh

:laugh:

Does he do stuff like that often??

He has some interesting moments, yes ;) He makes up for it though by being just about the easiest going teenager on the planet :)

 

[Philippa]

I thought that was a funny image as well digger1. Kinda what someone might do while they were sleep walking...for no particular reason.

I'm so sleepy right now. Had a night out with mates and drank some beer and wine and smoked a bit of weed and am pleasantly ready for bed now.

 

[Britt.f7]

My dog woke me up a little before I usually get up and I'm feeling a bit disheveled. A big part of me wants to lie back down, but I'm fighting it and keeping up with my morning routine.

Have to order some graduation stuff for my son and feeling very stressed by the money part of it all. That's playing havoc on my chronic illness. Fighting it.

 

[therisa]

Frazzled, after another brutal night of broken sleep, which I used to write poetry. Think, this is why the cats left me, alone, this morning, to sleep. Sore, as my jaw is acting up big time, need to mention this, again, to my nurse practistioner, on October 31st, on my next appointment, along with other stuff, surrounding my mental health. Which brings me, to my last emotion, frustration, for the previous reasons.

 

[zaniara]

Agony, anxiety, despair, impulses to run away(which is impossible since all this is inside me), loneliness, shame. And at the same time another side of me humiliates and talk down on me("You're such a cry-baby! Stop whining! You worthless piece of shit!") and I feel disconnected and split up into several parts. Which makes the anxiety even worse..

 

[therisa]

@zaniara , I would, gladly, give you, a hug, to chase away your negative emotions and your inner critic. If you would accept it.

Myself, am feeling numb, in the way, one has accomplished a major huddle, but still have more hurdles to go, before finished.

 

[zaniara]

to chase away your negative emotions and your inner critic. If you would accept it.

Really need one. :cry: So it's very much appreciated. Thank you.

 

[therisa]

Your welcome, zaniara. :hug: Hoping, it helps you, in your healing.

 

[Let It Be]

This morning I received an e-mail from a gal I went to high school with, many years ago. She had sent out an e-mail to several of us, and in it she is talking about herself, and how she is having a birthday next month. The only thing is that she is talking about how she is going on a cruise, with her daughters, and just a lot of great things going on with her.

It did surface feelings about her, how I would just go along with her, thus in the process I lost myself. If I send her an e-mail back to her I will make it about her, but this time, I will be doing it to keep myself whole and safe, and that feels so good to now be able to do that!

No need to remind her that I, too, am having a birthday which comes before hers!