Agoraphobia: Anxiety Much Worse If I Can't Anticipatie Things

[jd9900]

ground and refocus

I very much like the way you put that. I often find myself where I have to stop and think...formulate a plan, think it through, cover my contingencies...expect the worst but hope for the best. If one duck falls out of a row, though, I will start to lose it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I will often have to remind myself to take these things in steps. Actual steps with telling myself that "Okay, I did this and now I have to do this." Instead of looking at my huge list of the day I will just try to focus on what I have to do next and work through it that way.

It may be something as simple as "Now, I have to walk to the door..."

 

[jd9900]

I agree totally. Sometimes, if people knew just how much courage and strength it takes for me to open my front door, I would likely be awarded a medal. EDIT: I am going to downstairs right now and open my front door. Because I know I am strong enough to. I am also starting to accept that my PTSD - it is nothing I will ever be able to fix. It's my companion in life now, and somehow I have to learn how to get along with it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am also starting to accept that my PTSD

That is a good first step.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I just realized this thread seems to mostly be about Agoraphobia. At least for me...

"...is an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety in situations where the sufferer perceives certain environments as dangerous or uncomfortable..."

"Agoraphobia is a condition where the sufferer becomes anxious in environments that are unfamiliar or where he or she perceives that they have little control."

"Triggers for this anxiety may include wide open spaces, crowds (social anxiety), or traveling (even short distances). Agoraphobia is often, but not always, compounded by a fear of social embarrassment, as the agoraphobic fears the onset of a panic attack and appearing distraught in public."

"The sufferer may go to great lengths to avoid those situations, in severe cases becoming unable to leave their home or safe haven."

"These situations include, but are not limited to, wide-open spaces, as well as uncontrollable social situations such as the possibility of being met in shopping malls, airports, and on bridges."

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

When I started this thread, I didn't realize I seemed to be thinking about Agoraphobia. A bit embarrassing to be honest...But at least now there is more of a base and foundation for a discussion.

I knew it was about control for me. Triggers are there too (Like the TV in the shop), so it's like things are overlapping with each other and clashing together.

But the last few weeks I have really noticed...It can't be a good thing and that is mostly why I started the thread.

 

[KP the nut]

Instead of looking at my huge list of the day I will just try to focus on what I have to do next and work through it that way.

Absolutely right. That is what I do.

 

[therisa]

@Ayesha agoraphobia is a terrible thing to have to endure, as I know, from first hand experience, over the past 7 years. Am getting better, in dealing with it, but it is a constant struggle for me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Agoraphobia is often, but not always, compounded by a fear of social embarrassment, as the agoraphobic fears the onset of a panic attack and appearing distraught in public."

Had some of this today. About something really simple.

One of my books was overdue. Don't like that...:cautious: I am usually much more careful then that, more organized. I usually remember those things. I owe the library 20 cents and felt embarrassed and angry with myself that I don't have the change. My brain starts with it's "STUPID AYESHA! You should have thought of that! How can you not think of that?? " I start to feel anxiety standing there with no payment. Of course the library doesn't have an issue with it, none at all. I just pay next time I come in. But still my brain is almost yelling at me.

Oh my God...My brain is so mean to me! :cry:

The library has those detectors next to the door. I cringed before going through them. I usually have to stop and breathe in really deeply to collect myself. I almost fear those things. I knew if they go off I will scream and drop whatever I am holding. I knew this and I think about every time I have to go through them. Another embarrassment.

I go to my car with my still angry brain. I knew the books were late. I knew it was about 20 cents but for some reason...Usually with my agoraphobia I try to anticipate things as much as possible but this went by me. Stupid, stupid...

I know I do have agoraphobia. It was one of those things my therapist has diagnosed me with. I wish I knew why...I imagine it was from all those times I was embarrassed in school so much and I guess it became a phobia.

 

[therisa]

@Ayesha please don't be so harsh on yourself. We all make mistakes, even the best of us. As for school being the cause of your agoraphobia, I understand and relate to it.

 

[Powder]

Ayesha,

Thank you for sharing this stuff. I thought I was the only one in the world who feels this much stuff just going to the library up the street. It is exhausting, being so anxious all the time and having such inner persecution all the time to defend against.

I am feeling all these things, scared to drive off a familiar route. It's gotten worse with age. When I was young, the call of adventure seemed to over-ride some of "this stuff," which seemed to be most intense in large peer group social situations. Now it's unpredictable.