To Buy Or Not To Buy Tdoc A Christmas Gift?

[macca]

I meant to say that I look at it like a gift for a good school teacher - something that says thanks without being inappropriate

 

[Britt.f7]

I think this was discussed last year too. I wasn't planning on it last year, and my t ended up cancelling our appointments before Christmas. (she had an accident). That took out the uncertainty for me. This year I have a new t and she is going on maternity leave, my last appointment is next week. Again, it took out the question about it, and the guilt if I don't. And, I would feel guilty. I did, however, by her baby a present. I decided looking at her registry was too personal. I bought something I thought appropriate and got a gift receipt. It was under $15, but I was prepared to pay $25. I'm glad I did. I don't think she is expecting anything though.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

We tend to have boundary issues so it's probably best to play it safe. Send a nice card and that's it.

 

[catjudo]

I don't typically give a gift to my therapist, but there was one particular year that I purchased a gift for my psychiatrist. You can see my response in this thread from a few years ago. https://www.myptsd.com/threads/sending-christmas-card-inappropriate.14269/page-2#post-178317

 

[BloomInWinter]

Last year, I gave my therapists a handwritten card, homemade marshmallows, and a box of instant hot cocoa.

 

[Rissy215]

I did not get my T anything last year but he also sees kids and I felt bad seeing they had brought him gifts and I had no idea I was "supposed" to. This year I'm so far beyond broke it's not even a possibility but again I feel bad knowing his other clients will be bringing him gifts and I won't. He's spent so much extra time answering my questions through email, etc, between sessions (and is helping me through the SSDI process) that it would actually feel nice to give him some kind of thank you.

 

[Lucycat]

J
For one thing, your therapist probably has not spoken much about her/his beliefs. And I assume you don't want to wish Merry Christmas to a Jew, for example.

I have discussed belief a lot with my T. We have very similar ideas, and for me it was a fundamental part of my early therapy as my childhood beliefs were very much linked in with my shame etc.

As for 'getting it wrong' I have Christian and non-Christian family and friends. I treat them all the same and will wish them a Happy Christmas, and send cards and gifts regardless. Nobody has ever expressed offense at my choices. Because of my own beliefs I choose non-religious cards, such as Santa, Snow scenes etc.

I have given T a small Christmas gift each year. Something of a novelty item that is inexpensive. It is a token gesture of my gratitude. Yes, I understand that he is paid to see me, but I still appreciate that he goes the extra mile. I have already got his gift for this year, wrapped and ready to give him when I see him in 2 weeks time, which is likely to be the last time before Christmas.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Based on your other posts I'd say that no, you really should not be giving your therapist a gift. You've projected personal feelings into the relationship already. I think it would be best to keep it as professional as possible.

 

[Candleflames]

During the winter holidays I make lots of treats like candies, baked goods and tamales. I had thought about bringing some of the treats to my therapist last year but wasn't sure how appropriate that would be so I asked my T about it.

He said that when he gets a gift he uses it as a starting point for a discussion. That we'd talk about what what the gift means to me, what implications it has about our therapeutic relationship, what effect I want the gift to have and some other emotional heavy things.

Well that killed that desire to be nice. So nope no gifts for my therapist! :D

 

[Abstract]

Well that killed that desire to be nice. So nope no gifts for my therapist!

Sorry candle but :roflmao:

Reds, I personally think flowers are quite personal. I don't think there is a problem with buying a small not too personal gift but considering your prior experience I wonder if it is worthwhile keeping things very boundaried.

The type of gift I would give for Christmas would be a food item (biscuits for example) or bottle of wine or a candle or something similar. The things people use a lot at Christmas.

 

[DMerish]

:p Loved your reply, Candleflames :p

Anyhoo, I don't know if it's just me being "selfish", but other than giving one's therapist a small gift "for being nice" like one might do for a neighbor, i.e. something along the lines of what Abstract mentioned (a very small, innocuous/common/generic holiday gift), I don't understand the reason behind doing it. I also don't understanding what a few folks have said about their T "going above and beyond".
Can somebody please explain it to me?

 

[Reds]

@Candleflames I think your t was trying to kill your desire and she/he was successful at it :roflmao:

@DMerish, when I say she went above and beyond it is because she is always available for me. She'd always reply to my emails, texts and return my calls in between sessions. I mean there are times where I email her like 5 times a day and she will reply to all of them as soon as she gets a chance.