What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Spiderallis]

Still hurting physically but I'm a bit giddy- my childhood best friend is in town for a wedding and we haven't seen each other in a few years. Hopefully we can spend some time together tomorrow before she has to head back home.

 

[dkrose]

I feel lost, confused, sad and mad. I can't shake this feeling

 

[ms spock]

Massive anxiety again.

 

[WSQ]

I feel so terrible today. I have not been feeling well the past few days. I have a hard time getting out of bed. The memories and flashbacks are so intense.

 

[franciemarnie]

Feel like an earthquake is distantly rumbling way way deep inside, which has me feeling a little anxious. Could presage buried emotion about to erupt. Staying safe and grounded as much as possible so it can come out easy. I also feel cold because I just drank a Coke with ice!

 

[ms spock]

I am scared. I will just leave the house like I am. Going now.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling the struggle today.

I had rung the SuicideCall Back line twice as I was having troubles with my emotions. The second time the woman said that to put stuff aside for a time. This is a good idea.

Okay I left the house. I went and had lunch at the beach cafe of yoghurt and fruit and a soya vanilla milkshake. Then I had a dip in the ocean. Caught about three waves. Left it a bit late as I was enjoying my food and reading the newspaper. Then I had an egg and bacon roll for dinner. Had a moment of paranoia and came home.

Given my anxiety I am pleased with myself for going out. Will aim to go in the morning tomorrow. But I did exercise today and that is good. I will build up to 10 Dips in 5 Days.

Monitored and Challenged my Thoughts!

 

[ms spock]

If people get it right with you 50% of the time then they are doing really well. That is reality. People will get it wrong. It doesn't mean the life and death stuff and feelings of an abused child or someone in hypervigilance of PTSD.

Whereas in real life that doesn't always happen. There was nothing I could do to stop my parents, at least I got YACs and the school involved so my father didn't kill us all and then kill himself.

But from that basis there is no room for a great deal of success, except to go on living and doing my best. Now I am learning things I needed to know as a teenager. So better late than never.

 

[Philippa]

I feel empty, like there is a hole in my heart. I miss my family...or the people they used to be anyway. I feel shame and a little numb. Lots of tension in my neck area. I really feel like exercising...yoga etc. I always feel better after yoga. I'm a bit upset, and menstrual which doesn't help matters.

I'm glad I didn't end up being needed at the new job, and hopefully he does decide not to give me the position because I don't really want to work for him. I felt better to just come home and rest, nap and cry, which is what I really needed to do.

I feel anxious and unsure, drained and tired of second guessing myself and questioning myself. I feel bitter and aware of my pain body intensely today and yesterday. Crampy and ugly from my cycle in full swing.

 

[Mercy]

Looking forward to seeing a old friend for lunch today!

 

[DMerish]

Given my anxiety I am pleased with myself for going out. Will aim to go in the morning tomorrow. But I did exercise today and that is good. I will build up to 10 Dips in 5 Days.

But from that basis there is no room for a great deal of success, except to go on living and doing my best. Now I am learning things I needed to know as a teenager. So better late than never.

Ms Spock,

Has something changed in you? From being on this forum for about six months, I've come across several of your posts and like the honesty you always exhibit regardless of what's going on. I know you still post about unwelcome feelings, etc. But I swear, in the last month or so it seems to me that a new strength, a new outlook, a new resolve, well, something is changing. Is it true?

I admire your spirt a lot!

Drew

 

[DMerish]

Well, I took down all the holiday decor. My place looks rather barren, and really messy because I haven't put the boxes away or vacuumed, dusted, etc. Today, I'm going to work on finishing the task, getting my place cleaned up and organized, and on changing my attitude to something more zen like as in "less is more".

I'm at peace, and I'm lonely. I'm beginning to feel that I want to be with other people rather than I should, or that I'd prefer to avoid them. I think that's a good sign, but also a wee bit scary.