Not Talking

[Jane.l]

Just thinking - talking therapy isn't great when you can't talk.

So frustrating !

 

[digger]

*nods*

 

[Bedbug]

*smiles wryly*

 

[Al_Lurker]

This is true... when you can't talk it's hard to have any kind of relationship with anyone for any purpose. Has to hurt more to be silent than to talk.

 

[BloomInWinter]

It might be helpful to begin substituting the statement "can't talk" with "I can't yet talk about my traumas" and follow it up with a cognitive challenge such as "but I can talk about other things and I will be able to talk about this someday."

I thought cognitive-behavioral therapy was bunk but when I started restating things to myself and challenging my thoughts, I began to receive immense daily relief.

 

[Notsowild]

I agree @Jane.l... I'm not a big talker anyways. I'm quite shy and it takes me awhile to be able to trust someone enough to talk. I have a quick 6-8 sessions paid by my insurance. I'm on my 3rd session and I'm still quite hesitant about opening up.

 

[scout86]

I've sometimes wondered how that feels, if you're the person sitting in the other chair. :)

I've spent a lot of therapy sessions talking as little as I could get by with and about all kinds of things other than why I was there. I'm starting to see that that was "part of the plan". Recently, my T asked what I wanted to talk about, on a day when we both knew there was something I SHOULD talk about. I said, "The weather?" He laughed and said, "I think not. How about if we talk about "trust" and "safety" instead." Wasn't a GREAT conversation, but it was a conversation. Last week, I didn't feel like dealing with anyone or talking about anything. Unlike a year ago, this time I couldn't get him to talk about something irrelevant. But, I managed to stay with the conversation, even though I didn't want to. This is a process and sometimes you just need to give it the time it needs to move along. It's not a race, it is what it is and takes however long it takes.

Hang in there!

 

[Lucycat]

I couldn't talk at the beginning. Sometimes because the words were not there, at other times because I just could not stop crying.

However it really has got a lot easier. It is now 4 years down the line - and T cannot shut me up! I am a quiet person by nature and really do not talk a lot at all, but in therapy sessions I really appreciate that this is my time for me to talk about whatever I choose. It is quite a powerful and liberating feeling.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Sometimes I have nothing to say because I have too much to talk about.

 

[Ryn]

I was just thinking about this - I feel like I can either get out a stereotypical, pre-planned, emotionless sentiment (like "It was a long week. I dealt with a, b, and c. I am fine now.") or I sit there mute and shaking, unable to stammer out anything with the faintest component of trauma or vulnerability. I also refuse to cry in front of her. It's really frustrating, isn't it? :(

 

[digger]

Sometimes I have nothing to say because I have too much to talk about.

I have said almost exactly this to my T. There is just too much. It is too much.

 

[silk123]

I am so glad to read this thread and that it's not just me who can't actually talk sometimes (ok a lot). I don't do it on purpose it's just that everything seems to disappear when I'm in that room, either that or everything is so there that I just cry and cannot say much anyway. It is like a lose lose situation sometimes. It is so frustrating when everything is in your head but you can't actually say it.