What If You Recognize Someone Here?

[Rumors]

I have a dilemma. There is a member here and I know their real identity. I am also "friends" with them on another social media site. Although I would NEVER divulge anything they wrote here, should I tell them and give them the option to "ignore" me?

I feel like what is said here should be sacred and I simply would never want this person to find out that I always knew and didn't give them the option. However, I would like to add that we aren't anything but acquaintances from a mutual extra curricular activity. I guess I am looking for advice. I always want to do the right thing when it comes to things like this. As well, I certainly do not want to share my identity with this person either so I appreciate the anonymity of the forum. It was a fluke that I found out, but I assure you that I am 100% positive of this persons identity. The thing is, this is a very cool person that I imagine I could be good friends with and I simply wouldn't want to hurt them or make them feel awkward.

What to do???

 

[madmax]

Let it go and move on.

 

[ISupportHer]

WOW, I don't know that I can say what I'd do. As a supporter, I would probably not risk it. Especially if it was a sufferer. It might really freak them out.

I assume you mean you know someone "in person" and face to face. I HAVE told someone on another site "hey, it's me" :) But that is someone I had chatted with frequently here and knew it was OK. I have not actually met them.

For you, I guess part of the answer may lay in you current friendship or relationship with the person.

 

[digger]

You could always choose the ignore button yourself so you don't see their posts anymore and that way you are maintaining their privacy. Personally I wouldn't say anything unless it was someone I knew closely, I'd just respect their privacy and leave it at that. If you are concerned about them recognising you though it's a bit different I guess?

 

[Rumors]

I guess the million dollar question is, would YOU want to know? I don't think they could come up with my identity because I post nothing specific and am usually vanilla when it comes to personal information. The most I have posted is that I am married and have a kid... And so do a billion other people. Lol. I may just hit "ignore" and leave it be. I just freaked out a little bit because I just wonder if I should be giving them the option.

 

[digger]

No, I don't think I would want to know.

 

[Hope4Now]

I would not want to know. The only reason I actually say so much on this site is its anonymity. If I knew someone knew me I would not feel able to be as open and I might just stop posting. This safe anonymity is really important to me. Even the illusion of safe anonymity (I've realized that if anybody who actually knows me happens to be on the site and reading my stuff they might be able to figure out who I am.) I don't want to know. Block the posts and move on.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

usually vanilla when it comes to personal information

What does 'usually vanilla' mean?

 

[Rumors]

What does 'usually vanilla' mean?

Nothing too descriptive. ;)

 

[DharmaGirl]

I would want to know. I am pretty open here, and share a lot, but I know there are several people I've worked with or know that might be here. I would really want to know.

 

[StarChild]

I also wouldn't want to know it. My first concern would be about to respect their privacy and if they'd still feel save here on the forum. So I too would hit the ignore-button and let that person alone.

I've got the impression, and please correct me, if I'm wrong, that you really much would want to have contact with that person. And that of course it isn't a bad thing in itself. But please bear in mind, that that person can't choose, if they want to be contacted by you. And after you'd make contact, you'll can't undo that situation. So maybe they're glad about that, and maybe they're absolutely not. And therefore will maybe lose their feeling of being safe and protected, because of the loss of anonymity.

Another possibility came to my mind: Would there be a way to reach out to this person in your "real" private life and first see how things develop? And if they're going to a more personal relationship than just being acquaintances, then you could start to talk about your PTSD and that you're in a PTSD forum? That would give them the possibility to choose if they want to reveal their "secret". And if not, you'd know for sure, that they prefer / need their safety of anonymity. Well, it's just a thought, but that's what came to my mind. For me this would be a way to let things develop in a (for me) more natural way. (If that makes sense.) Good luck to you!

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I would want to know, lots of reasons for and against, but at the heart of it I would feel a little betrayed if someone could see my stuff and even if they made the decision to not read it or what have you, I'd like the same opportunity. On a good side, if someone here was supportive on here and it turned out that we already knew each other it would be nice to have a meet up or be able to talk face to face and know I'd have a friend who understood the PTSD thing!