Ups & Downs

[Crayon]

Hey everyone,

I'm still a bit new here, got diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I have the second appointment today and I'm very anxious. Last time I was crying before I even said a word. Guess I'm ashamed of that happening tonight as well :(

The thing I'd like to ask you is if you guys experience ups and downs in your mood. For example, I feel "semi-ok" (anxious all day but no real attacks, nightmares are scary but manageable once I wake up, trouble sleeping but manageable with over the counter medication, crying spells manageable) , then get triggered and feel horrible for weeks (horrible nightmares, uncontrollable crying spells, anxiety attacks, full blown dissociation, last time I wanted to end it all, made plans, realized what I was doing was not normal and went to my GP). Then SLOWLY I start feeling a little better again (the "semi-ok" state), then something happens that reminds me again and the cycle repeats. This has happened about 4-5 times in the past 3 or so years. The weeks in which I feel horrible have gotten worse and it's starting to take me longer and longer to get out of them again. In those weeks I feel like it's all happening again and I can barely manage to keep up appearances and just live. My therapist said I was not living, but surviving. That is exactly how I feel.

Does any of you experience this? Any tips of getting out of the downs?

 

[ms spock]

Yes I experience this type of stuff. It is not easy.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Last time I was crying before I even said a word.

Nothing wrong with crying. Believe me you would not be the first to cry in therapy.

experience ups and downs in your mood.

Yes, I did.

You were just diagnosed 2 weeks ago. That really is a lot to take in and swallow. The beginning of therapy is tough. Remember to take care of yourself during this time.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes, it is the roller coaster effect. My personal experience is that the roller coaster doesn't really end, at least not quickly. What I mean is that 5 years into treatment and I still have my ups and downs. The downs aren't so low anymore, and are getting less frequent, and the ups are getting longer and more frequent.

The "ride" gets better over time as you identify your triggers and stressors and can predict a possible downturn. (If I know one is on the horizon, I can minimize it's impact).

One day it'll be more like a stroll through the rolling hills of a meadow instead of a wild ride on a high tech rollercoaster with negative G's (gravity).

 

[DharmaGirl]

I agree with Solara, I still have the ups and downs, but I am able to talk myself out of the downs sometimes, and they don't last so long.

 

[Crayon]

Hi all!

Thank you for your kind replies :-)

 

[ms spock]

Welcome to the Forum Crayon.