Sufferer Journey Ups & Downs - Does anyone else have this experience and if so how do you handle it?

[FMCA]

Bedtime. I’m going to post on here every night I go to bed at 10pm until it becomes a habit x

 

[FMCA]

Not a good nights sleep. I’m devastated I’ve pushed my kids away and I’ve notice weirdly that the right side of my head where I had the trauma nightmare headache, feels what I can only describe as wobbly or off kilter

 

[parrotthepolly]

Not a good nights sleep. I’m devastated I’ve pushed my kids away and I’ve notice weirdly that the right side of my head where I had the trauma nightmare headache, feels what I can only describe as wobbly or off kilter

I get the wobbly head feeling too after an episode or after panicking.

Pretty sure it's cause blood pressure is suddenly rised and then suddenly lowered after coming down so it's literally a crash.

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Don't think you pushed your kids away to hurt them or yourself. Sometimes a bit of distance helps to identify and tackle issues.

 

[arfie]

i call mine, "the not-so-merry-go-round." over my 50 years of recovery i have called ^it^ many names, some of those names meaner than others. this morning i am calling ^it^, "life." life sure do get messy in its endless cycles.

I suppose it’s about not being too hard on myself when i can’t function as well as I’d like.

i'll second that notion. beating myself up for the crime of being sick has yet to help.

And yes, being present and noticing things is a good thing to do x

a second seconding. on the days i am a few fries short of a happy meal, i factor in the missing fries and keep on trucking as best i can with what i have to work with.

A few weeks is a win!

a third seconding. if nothing else, that few weeks lets me rest up for the next spin of the not-so-merry-go-round.

I do need to try to stick to a deep routine which I don’t and it can be all over the place which isn’t helpful at all.

um. . . well. . . another name for a deep routine could be, "a rut." i tend to start sleepwalking when i depend too heavily on routines. the other extreme of constant change isn't so productive, either. a question of balance.

That’s my next plan

"life is what happens when we are busy making other plans." ~john lenon (beautiful boy)
one step at a time, my healing warrior. celebrate every itsy bitsy baby step.

 

[FMCA]

Thankyou , i had three kids by the time I was 20 so it hasn’t been an easy life for them either. They are all settled though so that’s a plus. When they were giving me a load of grief in January I basically said stop giving me shit and tell your dad instead but they because he’d tell them to f*ck off. I’ve never said anything like that before about their dad. I will always regret it.

Their dad won’t speak to them because I won’t give him money from a divorce 20 years ago. He’s one of the most selfish abusers you could ever come across. He equates money with love.

 

[FMCA]

Thankyou @arfie

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

It's hard to hear or accept anything bad about a loved one. That's part of the reason why so many people have had and continued to have bad things happen to them.

There can be better ways to communicate and get a point across. Sometimes it doesn't matter. No point keeping it all secret and bottled up inside.

Regret eats away at us, you dont like what or how you said something, find a better way to say it, but dont regret it. Sounds like it was the catalyst for you being able to start the journey properly.

You are doing one of the hardest things you can do, well done.

 

[FMCA]

@WinnieThePoohChris , I actually think you are right, it is the catalyst to move forward from. Thankyou for your kind words

 

[FMCA]

The sleep routine isn’t going well but perseverance is key , I’ll try again tonight
And see what happens. Routine routine routine is my mantra now

 

[FMCA]

Didn’t sleep too well last night still awake at 3am. I’m still going to bed at 10pm so it should fall into place sooner or later. Since I’ve been at my cousins I can’t remember any noticeable heart beats which I usually get often. I think it’s because I’m catching up with what happened in January. The trauma crying for two days when I got here. She gave me her old smartwatch so I can track sleep steps and bpm too

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Don't let frustration get to you, I find if I'm really struggling to sleep I'll listen, watch or read something relaxing for half an hour. Then try to sleep again, normally breaks whatever cycle I have going on so I sleep quicker and easier.

Sometimes you won't sleep well, it happens. Maybe some light stretches a couple of hours before bed? Normally eases and relaxes me, especially after a tense day.