Invalidation From Doctors

[Lotusstarr]

I've recently been having some health issues, nothing serious, but I've been worrying a lot about it. I had a lump in my breast which was checked out a couple times, had an ultrasound and eventually a needle biopsy just to make sure everything was ok. I also went in for a mental health intake for all of my sleeping and anxiety problems. This was the first time I disclosed my past sexual abuse to anyone in a professional setting.

It happened when I was very young, and I've been getting nightmares/flashbacks/memories for the past couple of years. I explained all this to the counsellor, and she made an appointment for me to see a psychiatrist and a therapist.

My issue is that since that appointment I have seen my family doctor, and my orthodontist, and I feel as though their attitudes towards me have changed, and I'm wondering if it's because of what they saw in my chart from the counsellor. Both of my doctors made rather inappropriate comments to me.

My orthodontist was talking about how cancer forms, and then said "Now I'm not saying YOU have cancer.." and my family doctor was making an appointment for me to get an MRI to rule out some physical causes for the problems I've been having, and he said "We want to rule out multiple sclerosis, I'm not worried about it, and the chances are very low, so don't go on Facebook telling people you have it". These comments came off as rude to me, as if they believe I could believe I have a disease just because it is suggested, and makes me feel like it's related to my disclosure of abuse. Am I being paranoid? I really want to call the mental health centre and find out what exactly is written in my file.

 

[Lotusstarr]

Rereading that, and I feel like I wrote too much, and it's a bit jumbled...I apologize. I'm on some pain meds right now and I'm not thinking completely straight. Basically, I've been to the doctor pretty frequently recently. I've been having a lot of problems, mentally, physically and emotionally. But ever since I disclosed my abuse with the counselor, I am feeling extremely vulnerable and invalidated by my doctors. I feel as though they are treating me so differently, like I'm a child or I'm stupid or something. I know it doesn't change anything about my situation, it just feels bad, and makes me doubt myself a lot.

 

[Seasounds]

Sorry for your problems. I don't think you are paranoid. You are simply wanting to understand the medical system. Your courage to share your truth with medical doctors is strong advocacy for yourself. Your doctors may be reacting or they may just be conscientious and thorough.

Some providers, upon hearing your news, (not being psychologically mindful), may transfer their anxiety to you. They may not be insightful enough to use your disclosure, expertly. Abusive and traumatic events are overwhelming; since more emotions are created than can be processed, emotions often get turned into body pains and conditions that no one can figure out the cause to. They are missing the boat-of relating to you empathetically due to your past, and of encouraging emotional insights and expressions, which helps the stored pain disappaite.

• This seems to illustrate the disadvantage of universal medical records.
• You have the right to request copies (for a fee) of your medical record; this may be more accurate than her reporting to you what is written.
• You could directly ask the doctors why they are doing the additional tests. They could be simply checking that you don't have anything else.
• My experience is that doctors get tense when there is a symptom that they can't solve, and that doctors get tense (their own emotions) when sexual abuse is mentioned.

You are asking for respect, and conversations that you deserve! Hope things work out .:)

 

[ghotiff]

I'm sorry for what happened, I've had similar perceptions. You don't sound paranoid, but you do sound vulnerable.

Sometimes (if I'm not too bad) this works for me. Please understand that I in no way intend this to invalidate what happened or your feelings, its simply a method I use for me that I thought might help.

My approach is that I try to think of all the possible reasons that they made the comment that have nothing to do with me or my problems. This helps because I know one of my problems is to assume by default that I did something wrong. This example is likely wrong because I don't know the whole story, but I tell myself eg Maybe its because they just saw a patient that was really difficult and did tell everyone on facebook etc. So his facebook comment was based on a prior patient which had nothing to do with me, and he is at fault for transferring his past patient problems on to me. If I can come up with some good reasons (the more the better) for why the comment might have had nothing to do with me, this helps me let it go easier.

 

[Lucycat]

You have the right to request copies (for a fee) of your medical record; this may be more accurate than her reporting to you what is written.

In the UK you have a right to request the records but they are not obliged to show you the whole record if they think it would be detrimental to your wellbeing. They are perfectly entitled to withhold information, if they see fit.

 

[Seasounds]

After retreading your post, I get the changed attitude that your providers are projecting to you. They have problems with your disclosure. It is them, not you.

 

[catjudo]

I guess I have a different opinion than others but I'm going to give you my personal take on these comments. I think they're pretty standard and to be expected, with the exception of the facebook comment but that comes across to me as more of a poor attempt at humor than anything else.

My orthodontist was talking about how cancer forms, and then said "Now I'm not saying YOU have cancer.."

making an appointment for me to get an MRI to rule out some physical causes for the problems I've been having, and he said "We want to rule out multiple sclerosis, I'm not worried about it, and the chances are very low, so don't go on facebook telling people you have it".

I see these more as a doctor giving you a reassurance that you're okay and there is no need to worry. For example, my 9-year-old daughter recently went to a specialist. Her pediatrician didn't think anything was really wrong but he felt more comfortable if we saw a specialist to rule out any problems. Truth be told, her pedi had tried to send us to the specialist several times before but we never saw it as a necessity and didn't follow through. When we did recently see this specialist he had some insight into her situation and ordered an MRI. He went out of his way to tell us that he didn't think anything was wrong, didn't expect to find anything on the MRI, didn't want us to worry about it...but he was doing it just to be on the safe side. This had nothing to do with whether or not my daughter or I had a history of abuse or mental illness...it is just a standard thing he would do with any patient in our situation.

Personally, I see the examples you gave as more of your doctor's clumsy way of getting that same type of message across to you.

 

[Lotusstarr]

Thanks for all the replies everyone, I do feel better after reading what everyone has said. I understand that hearing about abuse is difficult for anyone, and everyone has their own emotions, personal experiences and people can project because of it. I'm trying to be less sensitive to the reactions of others.