Out Of Body Experiences......worst Symptom Ever

[shell]

I found it really distressing the first time I had an out of body experience, I separated from my self and stood behind myself as I sat in the chair in one of my first few sessions of therapy. The stress of talking about the past got the better of me, so I left myself as I entered through the door, I thought I was going crazy, and when he asked me what just happened I lied and said nothing. I was so afraid to tell him I was now separate to my body, since then I have learnt alot more about dissociation and am able to ground myself when feeling panic starting.

 

[ghotiff]

I don't get 'hung over'. I go out, I come back, I don't mind.

I only mind when its coupled with a freeze response. What happens in that combination is I freeze to a trigger, I can't move or talk or get away, I move outside my body but I still am aware of everything...my brain is screaming STOP (over and over and over again)...but I can't do anything and I have to wait until I come back. I actually prefer when I disassociate to the point of losing time because then I don't have any panic...I just go away and come back when its safe (no harm no foul). I also don't have any memories, so I choose to believe that nothing happened (I don't go away for long...so likely nothing happened).

 

[StellaBlue]

"I only mind when its coupled with a freeze response. What happens in that combination is I freeze to a trigger, I can't move or talk or get away, I move outside my body but I still am aware of everything...my brain is screaming STOP (over and over and over again)...but I can't do anything and I have to wait until I come back."

Yes - this is what happens to me...you have described it perfectly. And when it happens, I end up exhausted and "hung over" afterwards. I've never lost time.

 

[ghotiff]

It's nice to hear I'm not alone.

I'm not exhausted immediately after, but I am that night.

 

[ghotiff]

Also. My screaming STOP is to the trigger, not to me. I know I'll come back once it's stopped.

 

[The Albatross]

The out of body thing for me was times when "I" was not behind my eyelids. At times I could feel my feet, my hips, my buttocks but maybe not my hands, elbows, shoulders, spine or back of my head when supine or sitting. Other times I could have all or most all connections and still at others none. I have discussed this before various times in several years here... basically "I" was outside my body just in front of the bridge of my nose (usually) when frightened or in pain I would go farther and see myself either from in front, behind, to the side or above from the ceiling of a room.

Body sensations were muted, and there was little to no pain awareness until on some subconscious level I deemed it safe and I came back in or back in half way. I lived like that for probably many years. The downside was being accident prone as the therapist described "me" as a mind dragging their body around which led to various minor injuries, bumps and scrapes, cuts or burns, etc.

I get cues now when I'm "out" and learned how to put myself back in, but still sometimes, particularly in the retelling of traumas I go out or halfway out... so I had to keep telling and practicing and learn how to pick up on the cues, put myself back in, resume in telling trying to manage the body reactions or decide to stop the discussion depending on my state.

 

[The Albatross]

I have a good deal of lost time as a child, teen and young woman. I have some lost time incidents but much less now several times a year for a few minutes up to a half hour or so. Now, most often pain is involved but not always.

 

[Littlemissbrit]

I found it really distressing

I think the distress is the biggest thing for me. Lets say I am at work and I am in a stressful meeting which last an hour, this can happened every five minutes or so for that hour, over and over and over, my "out of body" experiences are only momentary a minute max then I am back again but they are repeated over and over....but as soon as they happen it makes me think of what happened....

I am not thinking about what happened to cause the out of body experience to happen, but the out of body experience makes me think of the trauma which then upsets me....

@Hashi - yes mine is definitely the latter...I don't feel numb or muffled or sleep walking or anything, I am just there, then I am not then I am.... I guess I am more like you @ghotiff - there is not hang over feeling...although I feel dizzy and sick a lot with it....from the constant moving...its a bit like travel sickness (which I get in cars)....

I have found grounding really helps me, I would recommend people to try it.

 

[ghotiff]

Thanks so much for this thread. Reading other peoples descriptions of what happens and what it means to them is making me realize my differences.

I just realized that I don't want to come back....and this is why I haven't considered trying grounding. I feel quite safe out there. And when I am frozen, this can happen with out without moving outside, either way I'm still frozen and can't do anything.

I wonder if this will change as I go through therapy (I am at the beginning).

 

[Littlemissbrit]

@StellaBlue I'm lying in bed unable to sleep and it just hit me.....he was always on my left hand side..... And he was always looking down on me because he was so tall.......

Can't stop crying.....

 

[The Albatross]

After you cry gal, know that awareness is healing.

 

[Captain Proton]

One time, when I was mentally spinning out of control, I asked my therapist "what if I end up back in the hospital?" His response was..."what if you do?" It helped me realize that, while not the most pleasant or desirable of outcomes, the world wouldn't come to a screeching halt if it happened...and so that fear was taken out of the mix...

What if I do? If I end up in the hospital, how could I afford it? I would be in debt for the rest of my life which would only exacerbate matters.

I have no advocates for me, nor would I even know how to get one. The thought of some aloof bureaucratic appointee going home every night to share a laugh over their dinner conversations is not my idea of helping matters.

I would be put on medications that turn me into a zombie and thus ends my years and years of fighting and resisting the destruction of my own identity. Striving all these years for the survival of my own person would all be a complete waste. The world might not come to a screeching halt, but I would.