So,why Would Therapists Recommend Brene Brown For Trauma Sufferers?

[Philippa]

Enquiring minds wanna know...?

After the train wreck that was the Vulnerability thread, I thought I'd start afresh.

What are some ways that clients and survivors can handle their therapists when confronted with this suggestion, without causing friction in the relationship? Would it just be a matter of saying "I'm sorry, but I don't think I am ready for her work at this stage?"

 

[Seasounds]

Sounds good. For fun, variations on a theme:
"No thank you, I want to wait." "I know another time will work out better. Thanks for your support." "I need to respect the pace of my own healing."

After briefly looking at her material, I would pass, too.
There is no one way or path or time. Better to let deep and dark things release bits at a time, and when it seems to need to come out. That way, things aren't so overwhelming.

If the therapist is truly so sensitve about it, maybe a different therapist?

 

[Philippa]

That's good. I think it's a good thing to go in prepared to question therapists, if their advice doesn't feel right to you, and to know that you can speak up to them about it, rather than go to third parties, such as forums, that won't know either way, just to vent.

If they are good therapists, they will listen to what you have to say and take it on. If they are not good therapists, they will try and convince you that what they think is better for you than what you know isn't.

So many people go into therapy thinking that the therapist is all knowing and that can set them up for a dangerous power imbalance, when they forget that therapists are people too. I was taught in art therapy that if a therapist doesn't have a therapist of their own, you probably shouldn't pick them.:D

 

[Mayday]

I read one of her books at one point, maybe last year. I can't actually remember anything from it (damn PTSD brain doesn't retain information too well) but I vaguely remember there being a few interesting bits in it.

Some self help books are the equivalent of watching Oprah really. That helps some people. Or maybe it's a placebo effect of some sort. Who knows.

Perhaps you could use Brene Brown as a kind of litmus test for finding the right therapist for you? When you find someone who says "Who?" then you might be onto a keeper.

 

[Philippa]

Well, I actually find brene brown someone I appreciate, so I wasn't really talking about me in particular. It was just something that came up in another thread on vulnerability, where some people were saying that some therapists suggest her work for people who are traumatised, and they found it unhelpful and found her work to be shallow...so it's kind of why I started this thread in the first place.

I don't think there's anything wrong or shallow about what she presents, but I do think it's questionable why therapists would suggest vulnerability as a strategy for people living with ptsd. They have enough to contend with and deal with so much anxiety and fears that it would be difficult to discern which fears are important to listen to and which are safe to release, and who to trust to open up to and be vulnerable.

I know quite a few people who practise this though, but I don't know that they are traumatised to the same degree?

 

[The Albatross]

I actually embraced the idea of vulnerability as a necessary component to living. I had to learn and develop coping tools to manage my reactions. If I wanted to endeavor to be out and about in the world, it seemed rational and reasonable that I was going to have to learn how to accept being vulnerable. No shrink recommended her material to me though, it was an outgrowth of my own personal development and happened to be in line with my AA recovery and faith based system of responsibility and character development.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

There is no one way or path or time. .

My therapist is great! She understands everyone heals in different manners due to the many different dynamics of abuse. At this point I have not shared my trauma in detail. Many child survivors of trauma feel a deep sense of shame while many do not. Suggesting Brene Brown's thoughts on vulnerability opened our sessions allowing me to express my strengths.

 

[Philippa]

it seemed rational and reasonable that I was going to have to learn how to accept being vulnerable.

Well, that's the thing. We all ARE vulnerable...no matter how much armour or walls we put up...underneath it all we are still vulnerable, so it's not something one can ever escape. We can only do what we can do to not leave ourselves open to certain people who we are not sure about.

 

[Rumors]

@survivor
"Many child survivors of trauma feel a deep sense of shame while many do not."

Where do you come up with this? Just wondering if this is a fact or theory.

 

[Hashi]

What are some ways that clients and survivors can handle their therapists when confronted with this suggestion, without causing friction in the relationship? Would it just be a matter of saying "I'm sorry, but I don't think I am ready for her work at this stage?"

Maybe they could simply point their therapist to the "train wreck" of the Vulnerability thread, to the video that Valentino posted where Brene Brown herself says he work isn't appropriate?

Really not sure what the point of a new thread is, if you think the other one was a train wreck,

 

[Valentino]

Let's not forget a very important question that's mentioned in the title of this thread.

why Would Therapists Recommend Brene Brown For Trauma Sufferers?

What's the therapist's perspective? What's their motivation? Assuming that the therapist is trained and experienced with PTSD, why would they think that Brene Brown's research might be helpful?

Or are we to assume that the therapist is ill-willed? Incompetent? Malicious?

Or did the therapist mis-read or mis-understand the survivor? Is this also all the fault of the therapist? Or are there ways that a trauma survivor can better communicate and share their needs to the therapist?

What about if the survivor has lost touch with what their core needs are? Is the therapist supposed to be a mind reader too? Should the therapist let the survivor totally lead the healing process, when their inner world is fractured, and parts of their personal identity has been replaced by an instinctive survival driven coping mechanism??

What if the therapist has codependency issues too? Or also has a bit of a narcissist/borderline/rescuer complex? In this case they're also driven by their own motivations and can be quite blind or deaf to the survivors needs??

In these situations, it can be like the blind leading the blind.. If this is the only option, then the question would be to figure out who's less blind and let them lead?

But a trauma survivor often has a history of being in bad relationships, so how can they even trust their decision making process to even allow a potentially slightly less blind therapist help guide and lead the way at least temporarily?

Giving up control of the wheel to someone else is terrifying. Especially if past authority figures failed miserably when they had control of the wheel. So maybe it's about taking the risk to share the control of the wheel with someone more experienced, by constantly swapping driving responsibilities. But not falling into the trap of having two people fighting for control of the wheel the same time, that is also likely to lead to a wreck and ending up at a mystery destination.

 

[fyredrift23]

@Philippa

Well, yes, all humans, and especially those dealing with traumatic histories, are technically vulnerable. What I think @The Albatross was getting at was about us actually displaying that vulnerability.

The whole point (and innate, ongoing challenge) of therapy is for the patient/client to "open up" to a proper conduit (the trained mental health professional) through which feelings and thoughts can safely be expressed. Basically, therapy straight-up cannot happen without the patient/client being continuously (i.e. repeatedly) vulnerable.

Sharing personal aspects of ourselves with another can be very difficult and scary, but if we can slowly build trust with the mental health pro in therapy sessions, it can definitely help us connect to others and stay connected in the long run.

My therapist likes Brene Brown, but the only reason he brought her up was because we were tackling my struggles with vulnerability and shame (Brown's PhD work, I believe). I personally don't see the big whoop with her, but he likes her, so I've found some nuggets of wisdom in what she says regardless :tup: