Relationship Your Relationship Hurt Caused By Ptsd ( Supporters/carers)

[Trying best]

@digger i am new to this forum. I am willing to do anything and everything for my husband. I found this forum and it felt like God sent . But it amazes me how some members are so caught up in figuring out or questioning the "topic" of this thread which is not significant at all but fail to advise and support another fellow memeber which is the true intention of the forum. I have explained my true intentions which is for me to understand point of views.

 

[Meadowsweet]

@Trying best , I have read some of your story. I have also read the questions that you posed at the beginning of this thread. My comments are based on what you have written.

Your question to supporters is quite clearly asking what the hurtful thing their partner has done is. Your question to sufferers is quite clearly, whether they know what their supporters have to go through.

If you feel you've accidentally put it poorly, then by all means correct it.

 

[Trying best]

@Meadowsweet a message i posted earlier.

@digger i am new to this forum. I am willing to do anything and everything for my husband. I found this forum and it felt like God sent . But it amazes me how some members are so caught up in figuring out or questioning the "topic" of this thread which is not significant at all but fail to advise and support another fellow memeber which is the true intention of the forum. I have explained my true intentions which is for me to understand point of views.

 

[Tinyflame]

I actually thought the question meant , "(For supporters), what is the worst thing your sufferers have done? And for supporters, do you have an idea of what your sufferers experience/ are going through?" . The second question says 'supporters' and 'carers', but they use that term kind of interchangeably here to refer to the people without ptsd (the same). :confused:

Now I'm a bit confused. Maybe it would help to re-phrase the question.

 

[Meadowsweet]

@Trying best ,I did read that, and I hope that you can find some understanding in my original response .

There are people with PTSD who hurt their loved one (intentionally or unintentionally). There are people in relationships with someone with PTSD who hurt their loved one (intentionally or unintentionally). That understanding is what was missing in your original questioning. To offer that understanding to you is why I shared my perspective.

You say you didn't mean it that way, and I accept that English may not be your first language. I am hopeless at explaining sometimes, and get taken the wrong way. But if that happens, the best thing to do is just say sorry, and try to re-phrase it. I'm always willing to listen and open to hearing a change in what you've said.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

But it amazes me how some members are so caught up in figuring out or questioning the "topic" of this thread which is not significant at all but fail to advise and support another fellow memeber which is the true intention of the forum.

If they don't know the topic, I am confused about how they would be able to give helpful answers.

 

[Aching65]

@Trying best you at the right place, just spend time reading around here.... I have joined the site for the same questions you are asking and the answers are sometimes... quite unexpected .. good luck )))

 

[Trying best]

@Aching65 You are right! I am looking forward to learn not to be questioned by members who are too engulfed in the " topic " but not the real reason. Just like you, im new and we are looking to find everytjing and anything about it. Im not worried about a " topoc " bothering some members![DOUBLEPOST=1403214863,1403214752][/DOUBLEPOST]

@Trying best you at the right place, just spend time reading around here.... I have joined the site for the same questions you are asking and the answers are sometimes... quite unexpected .. good luck )))

If they don't know the topic, I am confused about how they would be able to give helpful answers.

Thats when you read the message. We are here to read, understans learn and support anything and wverything about Ptsd.

 

[Aching65]

@Trying best you know those people are really going trough hell, day after day. I discover terrible things every day, and most of the time i end up wondering, who am I complaining about how hurt I feel ? I try to support my GF the best I can. I have failed a lot, mainly for trying too much the conventional way. I have learned to respect her space as much as possible. Not easy at all. Not easy ...

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Many of us sufferers are already aware of the many, MANY things we do to our supporters that hurt them. Again, I do not think it is particularly helpful to just make a list of the wrongs that a sufferer does to a supporter. A more productive thread would be more along the lines of "how do you work though issues in a relationship that are brought on by a sufferer's PTSD?" (although that, too, may be a little too broad.) Simply naming the wrongs can be hurtful as it doesn't move in the direction of healing. I understand wanting to vent, as venting can be therapeutic at times. However, I think it is important to label a thread as that rather than get into the realm of playing the blame game[DOUBLEPOST=1403215988,1403215885][/DOUBLEPOST]@Trying best,
Actually, you do need to be worried about a topic "bothering" certain members as it is just rude to go into the sufferer forums and start a thread listing all the bad things a sufferer does. We come here for support. We already get a TON of blame in the real world, and we don't need that here. That is why I said this topic is better suited to the supporter forums.

 

[Trying best]

@Solara listing things that a sufferer does is not to hurt a sufferer. It is for me to understand what goes in their mind so I can angle myself in my own relationship for my own sufferer. Who is anyone to complain about a topic botheringn certain members?? Do you think people dont jump from forum to forum reading multiple different posts, out of all the posts, dont you think a sufferer is going to run into something that they dont like. But i think we are all mature enough to know every posts caters to every members unique problems. I am here for my own growth. And if you dont like it, then dont participate is all i have to say to those people. Its that simple! Also if you read previous msgs, i mentioned that i posted this under ptsd relationships!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Actually, it IS hurtful to a sufferer, and well, I have an opinion on your own relationship with your sufferer, but I will keep it to myself. I am sorry that you do not have the capacity to see how this topic can be hurtful. I have said it before and I will say it again....not everyone is cut out to be a supporter.

Again, you initially posted in the sufferer section. The general unspoken rule here on the forum is that if you are a supporter and you post in the sufferer section, that you must be respectful of sufferers. The same is true if you are a sufferer and post in the supporter section, that you must be respectful of the supporters there. If you are a supporter posting in the supporter section, or a sufferer posting in the sufferer section, there is a bit more leeway in terms of what you can say.

I guess I am a bit bewildered why you can't see that this could be hurtful to a sufferer? You didn't ask to understand what goes on in the mind of a sufferer. You just asked what it was that sufferers do to hurt their supporters. (Would you like to have a list of your flaws handed to you?)

All I ask is that you be mindful of what you post and where you post it.