Relationship The One Night He Texts Me And I Sleep Through It

[Glara]

He's been withdrawing for over a month. I tell him he can text or call anytime. He texts maybe once a day, I'm guessing to make sure I'm still around. Sometimes he skips a day and I feel scared I won't hear from him again. Last night I waited up for a while but never heard from him. I went to bed and fell into a deep sleep which is rare, but I hadn't slept the night before. And that's when he texted. I almost always hear my phone even, even on vibrate, but that's the one I missed. I answered at 4:30am when I saw it, but now he hasn't responded. Damn it.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@Glara firstly a warm welcome to the MyPtsd family.

Is it worht sending him a text to simply let him know that you had slept deeply due to lack of sleep the night before. As a sufferer myself I would respond to that kind of contact in a positive frame of mind.

Sending Santa:hug:s if you accept them.

kind regards.

Laurie

 

[KwanYingirl]

Why are you planning your life around waiting for his texts? Live a life worth living. Hang out with your friends. Enjoy summer it doesn't last long in my neck of the world. Fill your bucket with self esteem chips and not spending them on ruminating on this guys attention. Do you define your femininity by always needing to be in a relationship? I guess from how you have described him, he is not someone I'd be attracted to. I just don't get that the benefit isn't worth the risk to your ego.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Kwan,
I think you are being a little rough on Glara. I'm not sure where "defining her femininity" fits into this post. My guess is that she really cares for her sufferer and is in emotional pain because she only gets one text a day from him. I think that my guy would be in pain, too, if I isolated from him, yet nobody would question him "defining his masculinity" because he missed me.

Glara,
I am so sorry that you're going through this right now. I think that he does care, and doesn't want to lose you, but is just overwhelmed right now. Have you read the information on the stress cup? I think that may help. What happens to me is that I get overly stressed and then everything just shuts down. I don't care about anyone or anything.

I think it is a good idea for you to try and focus on other things in your life while your sufferer withdraws. I know it isn't easy, not by a long shot, but it may help you cope in the meantime.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Solara I am very sorry if that came off as harsh. I didn't mean it to be. I was trying to express that primal part of us humans to want to be accepted and loved by the opposite sex. And at least for me, having been raised by parents that constantly put me down by calling me names saying I wasn't good for anything, I have always felt it is really hard for me to feel accepted by men. My own perception. Apologies!![DOUBLEPOST=1405791969,1405791905][/DOUBLEPOST]Oh and also because I wasn't secure I judged myself by my relationships with men and put up with crap that I didn't deserve.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Kwan,
I understand. I struggle with relationships as well, and have for my whole life. I know its not easy.

 

[Glara]

I'm not planning my life around his texts. He's in another state, we dated years ago and have recently reconnected. He told me about his ptsd when he started withdrawing, and he also told me about his depression. I have no way to know I he ok unless he's texts or calls. On Friday I just stayed up later than usual hoping to hear from him. I also want him to know on here if he needs me, and the one late night text came when I was asleep. I just feel like I let him down. Now it's Sunday morning and I haven't heard from him. I know I will hear from him soon, but I always worry when more than a day goes by.

I'm definately not sitting home waiting either lol. This is a long distance thing, I have plenty to keep me busy, my adult daughter just moved out and I've been helping her with that. Yes it's summer here and I live in summer tourist place, so I've got lots of things to do. That's how he and I met many years ago. He will always be on my mind, and I will always worry and feel sad when I don't hear from him. I've been reading everything I can find on ptsd and it really explains things about his behavior that I didn't get before. But no matter how much I read, it's still so hard to understand. I get it intellectually, but not emotionally. I've said it before on here, what's in my head is different than what's in my heart and that's what makes this so hard.

I thank everyone who responded, I know very response is well- meaning. Sometimes I just post on here because I have no one to talk about this with, because I have no one that knows what this is. Any responses are ok, it's good to here many perspectives from people who get it. Thanks.