'botched' Arizona Execution Is Troubling And Triggering Me

[new gamma rays]

I woke up this morning to the AZ republic headline "Botched" Execution: Prisoner takes Two Hours to die, and pretty much ever since then I have been on edge. I've been angry and anxious and just sick, and I just can't get shut of it.

A little background: I was thrown into hospital ER's on three separate occasions and the thing about Arizona's involuntary commitment laws is that pretty much anyone and anything can send you there. They send a fax out to a judge, and if he or she goes through with the procedure - they send police out to the hospital, handcuff you and throw you in what is basically a jail cell/drunk tank - processing facility for everyone from parolees to drug addicts to homeless people. And this is where they determine if you should be sent to their involuntary mental health hospital. And this has happened to me three times - none of them relating to a mental health episode, only one of them because of a family altercation.

So I have seen the bottom as far as I am concerned. And any egregious news stories about prisoners seems to bring my mind back to that self defensive setting. I don't know what to do to get out. This story would enrage me just by itself - but I can also detect a stronger response in me than normal because of what happened to me. Things I never had the time to talk about with other people, let alone process by myself. And I don't know how long this irritation and anxiety is going to last. It makes me sick. I guess I have a completely different outlook on society than all my friends and family.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I am so sorry that happened to you. I have only been "sectioned" once and that was after a series of suicide attempts. I think it is disgusting that the laws are such as they are in your state. Who is going to challenge it....? I mean most want to get the "crazies" off the streets, right? (Not saying you are crazy, but you know what I mean....I hope anyway.)

I was thrown into lockdown with severe schizophrenics and those mentally unfit to stand trial. I'm sure I'd be more traumatized from the incident if the doctor didn't prescribe me 6mg of klonopin a day....Thank GOD I don't remember much when I am on that stuff. But, I do remember it as being a really bad experience. (I think it must've been worse for my parents who were thousands of miles away who had to take phone calls from me every few hours for five days straight when I was extremely drugged. It was so bad....)

Can you work on self soothing right now?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Wow, AZ is harsh. I'm shocked that there's no due process for people, not to mention the rampant corruption that must be present among the power mongers. I don't watch the news or read papers because they trigger me. I'm pretty naive as a result. Now I'm thinking of kids getting thrown into that system OMG I can understand your distress. Give it time to dissipate. Grab your comfort objects and thank goodness you've made it out.

 

[shimmerz]

I don't watch the news or read papers because they trigger me. I'm pretty naive as a result.

Me neither, for just this reason. Things that seem so benign really affect me. This example from the OP would absolutely have gotten to me. So sorry for you....

 

[new gamma rays]

Mostly I feel just like writing a lot of angry stuff on facebook, but I've tried to back off a little. I think its part of a deeper coping mechanism when I am feeling angry and anxious: get outraged by a news story, and funnel the anxiety and anger I'm feeling into an issue that gives me strong emotions. I read about it in some psych study that called it 'affective' compensation - Basically when you are feeling anxious or uneasy you tend to dole out harsher judgments. In the study people who watched a slightly distressing movie were more likely to hand down harsh sentences to criminals in an imaginary situation than people who hadn't been distressed. Anger displacement basically.

The problem right now is things are pretty tense in my house between my parents and I. My dad is right on the edge because he's out of money having not worked in a year, and mad the air conditioning is running so much (we live in phoenix) and he blames me for it.