Mother And Daughter - Are We Too Much Alike?

[Notsowild]

My daughter was sexually molested by her father. I was sexually and physically abused my entire childhood by my father. She has anxiety and panic attacks as I do.

We were both in the near fatal car crash. She was the driver. She definetly went through PTS after the accident but never into the disorder like me. Or maybe not? She never had the wild symptoms I had. Insomnia, hypervigilance, exaggerated startle response,dissociation etc etc.

But she has been stranger. She's super hyper all the time. Needs to go out all the time. Will sleep on the couch all day.
And lately she's been verbally abusive to me. She blamed me for the accident ( because I inflated the tire before we left) She thinks I owe her since I got a small insurance settlement. I can't even talk to her. She just snaps and leaves. My psychiatrist wants her to come to a session but that might make her angrier. We used to be really close. I don't even know who she is anymore. She seems manic at times or is this PTSD too. Or something else?

 

[Ghostybear73]

PTSD manifests itselfs with many different symptoms and can be different for everyone. Sounds like she definitely needs to go to a therapist, maybe not the same one you go to, but one of her choosing.

Even though it is terrible that she has gone through some bad stuff, at least you are better prepared since you have and are going through some similar things.

Keep your chin up!!

 

[digger]

What age is she? Does she have a therapist of her own?

 

[Justmehere]

What do you mean by manic at times?

 

[Justmehere]

Who did the police and insurance company find to be at fault? I doubt it was the passenger of a car... yikes. If she feels she deserves more reimbursement, she can take it up with her insurance. I doubt this is all really about who is at fault. I would suggest setting some clear boundaries around her being verbally abusive. I get the sense that you are wary of her being angrier - but it does seem clear she needs some help and it's probably best to avoid diagnosing her. If she is living under your roof, you can set the gentle but firm boundary there will be a consequence for her behavior. You can also validate that she was hurt in the accident too and she has the option to meet with a doctor or therapist to get some support for all she is dealing with around the accident - you could even throw in the idea that this may help her get further reimbursement from insurance for damages... It would be a way to help her get in the door.

 

[Notsowild]

PTSD manifests itselfs with many different symptoms and can be different for everyone. Sounds like she definitely needs to go to a therapist, maybe not the same one you go to, but one of her choosing.
Keep your chin up!!

Thanks she is seeing a counsellor not a trauma therapist like me. She has had some manic-depressive episodes before too. Now that is frightening. She got really violent with my son and me. And also her kids ( lucky I was there for them)

What age is she? Does she have a therapist of her own?

She's 35 and is seeing a counsellor

What do you mean by manic at times?

She went through a manic stage
about 7 years ago. She was out all the time, wasn't sleeping, she became violent towards us. Then she seemed better and then the anxiety and panic attacks started.

She was found at fault for the accident. She gets her physio covered but gets no compensation. The accident was a year ago and I've spent that year going to physio, massage therapy and my 8 paid therapy sessions. Plus fighting the insurance company for fair compensation. She went to a chiropractor a couple times. Now a year later she talks about her shoulder still hurting. And she knows I got a partial settlement. I told her she will have to fight the company for herself like I did. I don't owe her- they do. But a year later!