Supporter Ldr And Ptsd?

[jerzeezee]

I'm not at all experienced with PTSD so please bare with me as I try to introduce myself and my situation...

My boyfriend and I met 5 years ago and fell in love, due to circumstances and bad decisions we went our separate ways and he rejoined the Air Force...In the fall of last year we reconnected and began rekindling our relationship, and found that we still love each other. He currently lives in NM and I live in AR, but we see each other every chance we get. He's been married before and was engaged in the time between our first relationship and when we reconnected and in both of those relationships the girl was unfaithful.

But I probably digress...during my visit a few days ago he admitted to me that he feels he has some form of PTSD, due to his multiple deployments and his current job in the Air Force...combined with failed relationships, he has spent a lot of time being alone, no friends to speak of or family around since he is stationed in a different state. He says he feels sort of claustrophobic when around people, he has lost his faith, he says he isn't the same man I fell in love with 5 years ago, he has killed x amount of people for his job and doesn't think I can possibly love the man he is now (which is completely untrue) generally he is very affectionate but says that it's a process figuring out his emotions. I would greatly love to move to where he is to be with him but thinks I will grow to resent or eventually hate him. He says he can't talk to anyone or get on meds or the military will find him unfit for duty. I'm not even sure if I'm explaining all this correctly or if I'm missing anything, but my head is spinning trying to wrap around all of this. I am so in love with this man, the prospect of not being with him makes my heart physically hurt.

So I did what any girl in love would do for her man, I started researching and that's why I'm here, to learn as much as I can to help me help him, and help myself better understand so I can be the best support for him I can be.

So if anyone is in a LDR with someone with PTSD or has any advice to give it would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Sighs]

Welcome to the forum. There are quite a few of us here who are supporters/partners of combat PTSD sufferers. There are also a quite a few generous combat PTSD sufferers who share insights from their side of the table.

Basically its a roller coaster ride and only you know when or if you want to get off. Good luck! Feel free to PM me if you like. :)

 

[jerzeezee]

Thank you so much! I was glad to find such a great source of insight and support, I've been reading lots of other posts before actually posting here.

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome to the forum! I'm glad you've already been finding it helpful. It's a phenomenal resource.

 

[intothelight]

@jerzeezee Welcome to the forum!

All I can suggest is to read all that you can about PTSD and the threads/posts of other supporters. Take care of yourself as it is up to the person with PTSD to make the choices in regard to their own treatment/symptom management, but it is also up to their partner to make their own choices to keep themselves healthy and not to let the PTSD symptoms make them sick too. (See secondary PTSD).

I hope you find the information and support helpful.

 

[BigBear]

Hi,

I can tell you that you are in the right place. There are going to be many people here with similar situations. The best advice I have is to ask questions!

Finally, I didn't see you say that you guy has a diagnosis. The problem is that there are several things that are too similar to PTSD for anyone but a Professional to differentiate. And the treatments are often dissimilar. He really needs a diagnosis. And he may have to look around to find someone who can do it right.

Bear

 

[jerzeezee]

He does not have a diagnosis, and you are right he may not have it but this was the best resource I had right now. He won't go to talk to anyone about it because of his job so it would be impossible for him to be correctly diagnosed.

 

[Friday]

So I did what any girl in love would do for her man, I started researching and that's why I'm here, to learn as much as I can to help me help him, and help myself better understand so I can be the best support for him I can be.

I like your moxie! :D Your attitude rocks.

Welcome.