Stress And The Heart

[Notsowild]

Same crap different day. Too much stress, panic attacks who really cares. I know I've heard it - pity party. Why do I post? It all seems redundant. I don't want to do this anymore. No posts. No therapy. It's a huge waste of time. Please no replies.

 

[nursenurse]

Get a medical check, some blood work etc. Other things, such as hypothyroidism, can cause your symptoms.

 

[Notsowild]

I have an arrhythmia. Too much stress on the heart can't be good. I'll never get rid of this stress.

 

[Notsowild]

I'm at a bad place. I feel like this is it for me. Why bother if its just getting worse. I'll play the "poor me" and eventually I die. Ah relief at last

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Nu-uh, @Notsowild , you are stronger than you think.
If you choose not to believe me, I will believe it for you.

Maybe grab a candle (to look at, and for light) or a stone (to feel) and if you have a smartphone, get this breathing app, it's simply called "breathing".
There's nobody who can force you to get out of it, the only one who can make that decision is you.

You do have the power to make that decision.
Even if it doesn't feel like it. Feelings are not always right.
Thoughts are not always right. They can betray you, they will if you let them.

 

[bell]

@Notsowild, I know you said no replies, but what sort of response were you looking for? For someone to say they have the same problem? For someone to say "yes, it [you] are a waste of time?" For someone to swoop in with an answer? For someone to join the pity party? For someone to say something like, "no, we care about you!" Or did you just want someone to "hear" you?

I suggest looking into what type of response you were seeking in order to figure out what's really going on. Because as we all know, a pity party just gets you stuck in the quicksand wrestling with yourself and yourself only. It's only once you start looking at what changes you can make to improve things (however small) that things will get better.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Sort of annoying that you erased your original post. Yes, the preview window still shows what you originally typed but you opted for the pity party instead. Do you want us all to chime in and say "oh poor you!". Nope, we won't do it. If you didn't want to post, then why did you post? Oh right. For the attention.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @Notsowild , I know you tried to delete, but yes of course stress is never helpful on the body. I had a heart attack in my early 20's, also had family that after the fact found out they had had several. But, you know, we just were the type to 'carry on'. The 'good' thing is, now I actually notice something, & don't deny as much (in terms of 'feeling', physical & this 'trauma-stuff'. To actually 'look' at it a bit.)

I find (just for myself), can you trace back (specifically) what made you feel badly, & why (what you are thinking about it)? 'What' started what & what judgement/ thoughts/ words are following? Then you can look at it potentially from more angles. :hug:

Thank you @Radise , I forgot about candles & rocks. :hug: Lighting a candle helps me too. :hug:

 

[Notsowild]

Nu-uh, @Notsowild , you are stronger than you think.
If you choose not to believe me, I will believe it for you.

Thank you @Radise. It's been such a hard couple of weeks. The death of my nephew and his wife's baby girl. My daughter having violent episodes. Trying to get her to realize she needs help. I've never been sworn at or told how much she hates me from my own daughter. Of course worrying about her three girls who witnessed her outburst. I'm running on a few hours of sleep a night. My hypervigilance and anxiety is sky high. Plus rough therapy sessions bringing up all the abuse and my suicide attempts as a child were very triggering. But thanks for the suggestions on the app and candles. You are truly a good soul.

@Notsowild, I know you said no replies, but what sort of response were you looking for? For someone to say they have the same problem? For someone to
say "yes, it [you] are a waste of time?" For someone to swoop in with an answer? For someone to join the pity party? For someone to say something like, "no, we care about you!" Or did you just want someone to "hear" you?.

I'm not sure what I wanted. I've been sleep deprived and on anxiety overload for weeks. I guess I wanted just wanted a friend online to just talk to me. I get tired of myself at times. I'll get better after I work through my crises. Thanks for your caring response.

 

[Notsowild]

Sort of annoying that you erased your original post. Yes, the preview window still shows what you originally typed but you opted for the pity party instead. Do you want us all to chime in and say "oh poor you!". Nope, we won't do it. If you didn't want to post, then why did you post? Oh right. For the attention.

So sorry I annoyed you for erasing the original post. But you know what I could care less what you think. I find it funny that my post bothers you so much. Were you not at a bad state not to long ago yourself. And am I the only person on this forum who is posting about being distraught. Do you like to go to every thread and knock everyone for feeling down and depressed. Is this not a PTSD forum for support and help. Maybe it's the knock someone when they're down forum. Stay away from my threads if you find me so annoying.

 

[bell]

@Notsowild, I see that as a good step that you can see that you wanted a friend to talk to.

Two suggestions that night help next time:
1. Before posting something negative or pity partyish, why don't you write down all those thoughts as if you were writing to a friend? Just letting them live and breathe on paper?
2. Why not post something like a funny link you found and segue into conversation that way, so it's more of a party party than a pity party?

 

[LostInCPTSD]

Nu-uh, @Notsowild , you are stronger than you think.
If you choose not to believe me, I...

Beautiful post, Radise - and she is right, @Notsowild - I can relate completely to what your saying - I'm in a SUPER low now for over a month and just when I thought I finally loved myself, I find myself hating myself and getting SI thoughts again.. it all is so multi-faceted (the damage, memories, thoughts, flashbacks, realization of where we are in our minds/health) it all feeds on eachother - I received three bits of GREAT advice - I'm so ready and willing to recover and have every intent to recover as my survival skills are strong - but my ability to self care is so bad I even don't eat when I'm hungry just to punish myself - I hate myself with such a passion even when I know I'm a great person - if no one sees it in me and only treat me like shit all the time what good is it to be 'good person' when it's doing seemingly nothing to sway anything in my favor or gain a true friend?? All I can do is say I spiritually love everyone, and you - all who suffer these pains.. I'm just glad I at least found this site - just the feeling of slightly less isolation is such a gift... stay strong.. you are very strong - recall all the times your strength blew you away.. like how perhaps years ago you had SI and YOU ARE STILL HERE... that's STRENGTH!!!! Take care I hope this helps - I really am bothered I can't just type two sentence responses I'm probly exhausting everyone on here (see what I mean? I'm my worst enemy outside of my mother, father, and X-wife..!!) sending big hugs and thoughts your way.. keep posting because it helps us all..