Sexual Acting Out Destroyed Me

[Vevari]

it feels we cannot escape the past or peoples ill-informed judgements

This is a good reason to move. You are not "running away" but moving to build a new future. I think it will really help you heal.

 

[Olana]

Put like that it really does seem to make sense. I am worried about the impact of moving on our sons, they are so settled in school and have a wide circle of friends. Having caused everybody so much pain I don't want to hurt my kids any more. I thought we would heal in time. But for my partner and I it is an open wound, and if anything it is getting harder to keep going. I thought after the year of living hell with social services I would recover, to some extent. This hasn't happened. I get debilitating anxiety attacks, now more frequently than before. It's affecting my work as well as home life. I jump into a total panic if someone knocks on the door, or a car pulls up outside. My partner is insisting I try to get some therapy. I thought I would recover but I now see that she is right, and I am making her worse too. This has opened up emotions from my abuse as a child, that I have long tried to bury and forget.

I feel like I am just moaning and bleating on poor me into the void. I'm sure I must come across as self indulgent, I am sorry if I do, I really don't want to come across that way. My youngest son was born in this house..But you are right, we need to move.

 

[Egos]

I feel like I am just moaning and bleating on poor me into the void. I'm sure I must come across as self indulgent, I am sorry if I do,

This quote feels to me like something from so many child abuse survivors. You are NOT being self ingulgent! You have the right to feel compassion for yourself! That does not make it a "poor me" thing.

People move with kids all the time. Your kids will be fine. They might also be better. If you move you will get stronger, your wife will get stronger and you kids also won't struggle with the negative people. Yes, moving is not the perfect solution, but time travel to undo this mess caused by the inappropriate authorities is not possible.

Therapy is a good idea. There are lots of threads here on therapy and how to find the right T for you. We are here too support you. I don't know if you are on this forums less anonymously but I recommend it. You don't need to link to this thread, but there are plenty of other aspects we can support you with. I for one welcome you with open arms.

 

[Uhuci]

Just a though, but your sons might be old enough and mature enough now that you could discuss moving with them and ask how they would feel about it. They sound like they are happy and well adjusted, but they may deal with more stuff than they let on and it's possible they wouldn't mind a move as much as you think.

I'll echo the sentiment that you're not being self indulgent. You and your family have been through a lot and you deserve support as much as anyone does.

 

[Mipom]

I just wanted to say thanks' to you all for the care and compassion shown to me in your posts. I was truly frightened to speak up. It's made me feel braver and helped me to talk about 'it', and it's helping. I am really grateful, and glad to have found such kind and generous souls..