Holding Down Work/college Whilst Having Dissociation Problems?

[Cool Cat]

Yes, I am working through trauma. Yes, I need to take it easy on myself (I've cut back on commitments)
But despite everything, I still need to somehow hold down work and college?

I'm dissociating a lot, especially since we started going into the nastier sides of the bullying I had from a group of guys in my district. I usen't to dissociate nearly as often before.

It's really hard... it's like I'm only 50% there most of the time. I was in a lecture today where the lecturer brought attention THREE times to the fact I was spacing out. One of the times he shouted. Telling me to 'cop on'.

SO: How do you manage dissociative problems so you can lead a normal life?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Why do you need to do those things right now? I understand work, by can't you take a break from college? But since you are in college, does your school have a disabilities department where you can get assistance? That would put an end to your lecturer yelling at you!

 

[livingwiththis]

I'm unsure if this is available to you .... I went from being a straight A student through high school to all of a sudden dealing with my trauma and not being able to do well in school and I had to quit my job..... i was in university on academic probation knowing I couldn't do it with like 500 people in each of my classes so I took a college program with about 30 people per class I still got horrible grades but still got my diploma I couldn't findo a job in my field so I wanted to go back to school this time I took online studies...... absolute life saver I don't have to work with people (huge trigger for me is large groups of people) I can work on my own time so if I'm working on an assignment and find myself dissociation I just simply work on it later...... so if online is an option I would look into it it was a lifesaver for me
good luck to you

 

[Candleflames]

There's lots of things we can do to help us bring ourselves back to the present. What works well for me though might night work well for you. When I started back to school I sat down with my T and made a list of things I can do to stay in the present. I keep it in my folder to refer to.

First is to do something tactile, like play with a fidget toy. I carry a ping pong ball or marble to roll around in my hand and squeeze.

Second is to find a visual que to where you are. In my doc office there is this random blue sticker on the ceiling that I look at when I feel myself slipping away. In class I look up at the overhead projector. They're just a couple of things that are unique to my location that remind me where I am.

Third is to do small movements. I'll doodle pictures in my notebook or write a simple sentence over and over again.

Last, when all else fails I feel my own weight and space. That is I feel the heaviness of my arms and legs or the hardness of the chair or the feeling of my feet against the floor.

Your therapist might have some other suggestions. Mine did I just can't remember them as they didn't work for me.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I went to college and worked during the emergency stage of my PTSD. I had yet to learn what dissociatiom is. I had to cut my load in half. For the most part, the process of learning and writing papers was a welcome distraction. I struggled in computer software classes because of the off gassing of all the computers in the lab. My professor was constantly reorienting me and we decided to put me in another room that had one computer. I taught myself the course and aced it. I had difficult ing in a fiction writing course but when I told my prof about my PTSD, he tutored me one on one and I did well with that too.

I wish you luck if you're carrying a full load, studying and working. I found that it helped me stay present if I took thorough notes in lecture. I used index cards when researching and used them to layout my papers. They also help with memorization. Try using colored paper or bright colored pens. If you can lighten your load I think it would help. Semester is only half over now and you wouldn't get a refund right? And be honest with your professors I have always let them know I have PTSD and they always helped adjust my environment so as not to get overwhelmed.

 

[Kintsugi]

Not sure how to deal with dissociation and work, since it has never been a disruptive problem for me, but in school I would sit down and open my notebook and just start writing. Most often I would transcribe song lyrics I had memorized, and I would concentrate of writing down the lyrics at a leisurely pace while trying to absorb the lecture. Sometimes I would doodle but it's a bit more obvious I'm not taking notes. :)

 

[Karen12]

I'm unsure if this is available to you .... I went from being a straight A student through high school to all of a sudden dealing with my trauma and not being able to do well in school and I had to quit my job..... i was in university on academic probation

That's my story, too. I was one of those superstar honors students until college when all of the abuse and trauma came pouring out, no longer kept back by the necessity of living with my parents, and I fell to pieces. I still have a tremendous amount of shame about how badly I did academically. I avoid running into anyone I knew back then. The shame also frequently turns up in my nightmares.

I cut school down to part time. There was a note-taking service for popular classes and I signed up for that (this was in the age of the dinosaurs so there were no on-line classes). It was a lifesaver for me.

I also doodled like crazy in my notes, like Candleflames. I had a whole repertoire of characters and designs I dipped into. I'm a visual learner so one of those 4-color clicker pens, 3x5 cards and tag board decorated with colorful felt pens also helped me with memorization and recall when preparing for exams.

I changed majors several times, originally going to school for what my mom wanted to do, not what I wanted. It took me a long time to come around and get a degree in what I wanted but I did finish it.

Hang in there, Cool Cat!

 

[Cool Cat]

I was one of those superstar honors students until college when all of the abuse and trauma came pouring out, no longer kept back by the necessity of living with my parents, and I fell to pieces.

^^ That is so similar to my story.

Thanks so much for your replies guys! Unfortunately in Ireland if you drop out of college you practically have to pay quadruple fees if you go back, and I just cannot afford to not be in college. My parents basically are giving me one shot at going to college and it's 'take it or leave it'.

Some interesting coping mechanisms! Is that what helps everyone here? How about when you just keep spacing out (not in an extreme way but enough for it to be noticed)

 

[Karen12]

I just remembered something else. After the car accident, I would be really out of it, especially when I woke up in the morning. I had to move far away from where I was living and I would wake up in pain, very disoriented in addition to disassociating. I couldn't remember where I was or what year it was or anything.

On the wall by my bed I taped a bunch of things to "anchor" me to the current time and place: what year it was, who the president was (his name and photo), what city I was in, who was in the house with me, what I was doing there, and so on; also some reassurances that I was safe and okay. It helped bring me back around and ground me.

@Cool Cat, could you create something like that for when you're in class? Are there some photos, pictures, symbols or words that would bring you back to where you need to be, like Candleflames' blue sticker?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Consider audio taping your lectures and when you're home you can listen back. Rub Tiger Balm on your temples can find that in health food stores. It's aromatic and helps headaches and will stimulate you.