On The Topic Of Forgiveness And Our Ability To Do So

[HëllaBubz]

I wrote this letter after a particularly touching sermon from my Rabbi this last Sabbath.

After a particularly nasty incident on Christmas day, where my in laws drew a picture of me that was identical to my fb profile photo, then posted up photos of them shooting arrows at it, I lost it....

I really, really lost it.

My partner sided with them and believed their lies about it being someone else, and then abandoned me for Boxing Day to spend a prearranged day with them.....I called him to let him know I was having anxiety attacks and really depressed, and he lied to me, ignored my calls and didn't come home til 6pm....my original call to him being at 10am.

We've since hashed that out, and come to an understanding.

My response via text ton his brother and partner was hateful, nasty and unkind.

I felt it was another milestone in my healing, even if it has no results.

I post it tomorrow.

 

[arfie]

An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind. ~Mahatma Gandhi

I wasn't able to read your scans, but it sounds like you are working on a vengeance scheme far more than forgiveness. Just my impression??

So sorry you are having to deal with this. No fun. Gentle support while you sort.

 

[shimmerz]

I really, really lost it.

Sounds like you are working with really toxic stuff here.

I felt it was another milestone in my healing, even if it has no results.

I couldn't read your scans either but I hope that you will be able to remove yourself from this rather than become an active and willing participant.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Why can't you read them? Should be jpg images.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Can you talk this over with your rabbi before posting the letter? I'm not sure the people you described and their behaviour are mature enough to handle what you wrote.

I had very bad experiences with my relatives when I tried something like that. Don't want you hurt more. Your rabbi might have much better input than what I can come up with.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes agree these people sound really toxic. Not sure anything you write will be twisted and misunderstood

 

[HëllaBubz]

I had wondered. But if it is I don't care, I've done the right thing.

Are the images illegible?

 

[shimmerz]

Are the images illegible?

Yes, without a bunch of work, they are.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I was able to read them had to enlarge them.

Keep that in your head - you are doing the right thing but I know how much that hurts when they come back with poison so just protect yourself.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Just worried you sound vulnerable and like your partner is not being so supportive so I'm worried for you that these people can come back with a lot to hurt you. I am always shocked how much poison some people can stoop to

 

[HëllaBubz]

I think this was more for my own healing process. Letting everything go, and damn their reaction. Because their actions and reaction no longer matters to me.

I know it's hard to believe, but I've learned that people let you down, but God is always there so I need to lean on Him instead of my partner.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I'd maybe send a shorter letter. It looks in that letter that you maybe are looking for their approval. I'd maybe cut it down and make it simpler. I don't know. Just be prepared. I just think healing is pretty hard with those kind of people in the picture. Hope I am not saying anything wrong.