Email Hijacking / Forum Shaming

[StarChild]

who gained access to your email account, clicked on the myptsd forum emails, read your posts,

Sorry, but there's something, I don't understand; How could he have technically achieved this?.. Because, when you get a mail of a thread you created or watch, you don't receive the full text. You just get an information that there's a new answer to this thread and a link to that thread / post. And when you click on the link, and you're not logged in, then you can't read anything but the following message in a bright red colour: You must be logged-in to do that.

- So how did he do this then? As far as I know, there are just 2 possibilities: a) You are constantly logged in, or b) He used your password(s) and username? Next question would be, how did he get your login details? Do you use the same name and password on every account you have? If not, how did he get your login details?

When you signed up, you agreed to all terms of use. These terms are not only to protect your privacy, but the privacy of all members here on the board. And to abide this terms is not only a matter of security, but also one of personal responsibility and respect towards the whole forums. At least, that's how I see it.

I suggest, to reread the following rules:

MEMBER ACCOUNT. If you register as a user of MyPTSD, you create a username and password that is unique to you. Such registration may be subject to specific terms of registration with which you must comply. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of the username and password, and responsible for all activities that occur under your username and password.

Your username and passwords must be used solely by you and sharing your username and password with any other person or making it available to multiple users on a network is strictly prohibited. Where you register with Us you also agree to:

1. provide true, accurate, current and complete information about yourself as prompted by the relevant registration form (such information being the "Registration Data"); and
2. maintain and promptly update the Registration Data by updating your account details section; and
3. ensure that you exit from your member account at the end of each session; and
4. notify Us of any unauthorized use of your username and password or any other breach of security via the “Contact Us” link located in the footer of every page.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

Sorry, but there's something, I don't understand; How could he have technically achieved this?

Thats a really good question.

Actually, my myptsd password is not compromised; it is unique to this site. I will change the password and enable two-factor authentication just in case... but here's how you can prove that access to email can allow someone to read myptsd content WITHOUT them gaining access to the account:

1. Log out of your myptsd account.
2. Go find one of your emails that say someone had replied to a thread that you're watching.
3. Click the View This Thread button in the email.
4. Observe that the thread in question loads without asking you to log in.

•

Thanks everyone for being awesome. :-)

 

[Kintsugi]

Yeah, I was going to edit my post to add that almost all areas of the forum are public to non-members, but then my dog decided I needed to go for a walk instead. ;)

I personally feel it's empowering to say to myself, This is a public place on the web, people who know me could potentially find me, and I just don't give a damn what they think of my partcipation here.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It's not a matter of shame as to why I keep this place private. It's a matter of protecting myself. If I have a child in the future and an ex who becomes vindictive, then yeah, with over 5k posts you better believe they could dig up dirt on me and why would I risk that?

Some people use the shame issue as to the reason why they don't hide their ptsd in the least. Others know about rampant discrimination (in courts, with jobs, etc) so we choose to keep it under wraps because we want to have a normal future. Again, it's not about shame.

 

[Nicolette]

Has anyone else had an estranged significant other who gained access to your email account, clicked on the myptsd forum emails, read your posts, and proceeded to criticize you for the thoughts you shared?

@The One Who Knocks it is your responsibility to ensure that you keep your own information confidential. My concern in relation to the forum is that you ensure that no-one can access your account on the forum under your login....please ensure you do not leave your computer logged in and the computer not password protected as you have a responsibility to ensure you maintain your account so that only you access it.

 

[StarChild]

Sorry, it took me more than one hour to write all this... So my answer is a bit late.

4. Observe that the thread in question loads without asking you to log in.

What you suggest from point 1 to point 4, is exactly what I did before I wrote my post. Trust me, I would never write something like that and not try out myself before. I was completely logged out, my cache was cleared, firefox refreshed. And I had no access via the link. So after your post above, I logged out again, cleared my cache, used a cleaner (free tool), and restarted my computer. And I tried point 1 to 4 again, and had access. Then I tried it with another thread and had no access.

What I didn't realize is, that the email notification was from a diary = private. That's why it didn't work. When I tried the same with an email notification of your thread, it gave me access to your thread. So, as I understand it, All threads that are in the private section, including diaries, are protected and not accessible via email. And all those threads which are in the public area, can be accessed via email notification.

but here's how you can prove that access to email can allow someone to read myptsd content

Well, then I suggest, that you should also change your login data to your email account immediately.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

@Nicolette Issue resolved. He never logged in to my myptsd account. I changed my myptsd email and password immediately, he does not have access to my password-protected computer, and he does not have access to this account in any way, shape, or form. Sorry if my post led to a security scare.

Sorry, @TreeHugger, I hope my reply didn't come off as harsh.

What a great example of how the same seemingly well-structured troubleshooting can lead to confusing results! We both thought about the issue and came up with seemingly reasonable steps to test it, but we came to opposite conclusions. I know that this is sometimes the frustrating nature of the troubleshooting beast, and I didn't take your message personally. :hug:

 

[Powder]

I agree with many statements here, especially @shimmerz second response, that PTSD can lead from one reaction to another in a chain. It's hard to find a door in the wall to get out of the hallway of distorted mirrors.

Shame, acting out and then regret, lack of being able to process feelings, all sorts of things come into play here.

Thank you for sharing on this topic. I hope you have a good, trustworthy and knowledgeble therapist who understands PTSD and marriage well. This is a tough situation in which both are involved.

 

[avak]

What he did is a profound violation of not only of your privacy, it violates you as a being altogether, the entire relationship itself, and your whole recovery. Now you get to carry the burden of coping with what he did, as if everything else that has contributed to your PTSD in the past wasn't already enough!!! Now you can't feel safe in your space because he violated trust, so you will have to be paranoid about what else he may be snooping around about, and that destroys the integrity of everything you need in place for PTSD recovery. Recovery requires a safe place, safe people, and consistency. He just violated all of that. There are clearly some very large issues at play here and he should have been responsible enough as an adult to ask/discuss any thing with you instead of reading all your posts. It's not a mature move. It's not healthy. It's a clear sign that the relationship is not built on solid foundation.

 

[StarChild]

I hope my reply didn't come off as harsh.

Dear @The One Who Knocks, your replies were patient and kind. I'm glad, that you didn't feel that your feelings in that matter, which you originally described were questioned. But instead, you took my first post for what it was; Namely my concern about the protection and to keep up the security of this forum, as far as this is possible.

Has anyone else had an estranged significant other who gained access to your email account, clicked on the myptsd forum emails, read your posts, and proceeded to criticize you for the thoughts you shared?

Not in the way you asked this question. But I did never have my own privacy, or even my own belongings. My ex-husband never respected my privacy in any form. Step by step, my ex took everything away from me. Neither material things, of which "I was no longer worthy of" (even though they were mine) nor any aspects of my privacy were respected. (The day after our wedding, he took away my passport, my keys and my personal money. Because he was now the head of this marriage, and I should be thankful, that he was willing to do this thankless task.

One little example I want to share with you; In our large 5 room flat we had lots of built in built-in wardrobes. He claimed almost all of them for himself, and expected me to thank him, that he was so generous, to cede the last 2 to me. And when, instead to fall on my knees and praise him for his "loving generosity", I got quite mad at him, he threw all my clothes out the windows. And this is one of the more "amusing" incidents... Of course he searched my desk drawers on a regular basis, and tried to get access to my computer, and drew almost all the money from our wedding account and so forth... So I had to learn very quick to protect my belongings... - Okay, now I hope you can enjoy your time here on the forum, and feel welcome. Because that's what you are.:tup:

As you didn't write / tag me in the function of a mod but a member. Let me tell you this @Simply Simon, in both your posts, (yes I mean also the one with the spoiler, in which you let your triggers take the lead and ranted along towards me, and which has now magically disappeared.) As well as in the post above. You did just one thing: You gloriously missed the point I've made..

 

[Powder]

When I get triggered, I sometimes have not acted in keeping with my values. My emotions got the best of me at times, and I angered rather than cried.

I forgive myself for doing the best I could at that time with my emotional flashbacks. I forgive others when they make mistakes and try to make it right and grow, too.

I have forgiven people on this forum who have reacted to my words that were not intended to elicit a reaction. I do not hold it against them, because I think they are only human, and it's a forgivable and anticipated thing on this forum. I do let them know that it wasn't intentional. I've been surprised at what can elicit a reaction. Usually, I wouldn't be able to anticipate a negative response.

I imagine that PTSD and even just the emotional life of anyone with any kind of trauma history could make all of us a bit of a minefield. It's okay. You learn to navigate this in life, finding safety internally, even though it's liminal in the outside world. Some people are calmer and safer than others. But everyone has a button somewhere, or a shadow they don't look at and are limited in awareness of their own unconscious and unmetabolized trauma.

It's normal for people to be triggered by other people by accident. But it's up to us to modulate our reactions and learn to cope better by recognizing and accepting our own flashbacks, triggers (if specific enough) and response patterns.

I hope the ex who is reading posts is able to modulate his or her own reactions and responses with grace and learn tolerance if not empathy during anger and hurt. We should also accept each other's foibles and weak spots; they may or may not be permanent. There are wonderful people on this forum, and we should try to forgive and support each other if we can also forgive and support ourselves and our own mistakes, patterns, and imperfections.

I support the work being done here in this thread; it has caused a lot of wounds to be opened up and bared. Well done. The healing is happening. It would be surprising if there wasn't an emotional reaction to the powerful emotions in this thread. I hope soon it will be seen the good that has come out of it.