Don't Feel Physical Pain

[shimmerz]

I am not sure I am posting this in the right place but here it goes.

I don't feel physical pain. As nice as this sounds it is a HUGE problem and dangerous, especially when in hospital where nobody flipping believes me. Up until today I couldn't find anything on this. Finally, validation. She writes it exactly the way I feel it.

Experiencing Physical Pain
Another thing that changed for me after my final integration was my response to physical pain. When I had DID, I was able to dissociate physical pain. I had learned this as a child to cope with physical abuse. When I was dissociative, I had my dental work done without Novocaine and felt no pain. Once I had a window slam down on my fingers — breaking one and damaging the others. I felt pain for an instant at the moment when the window slammed down but immediately dissociated the pain. During the months of recovery from this accident I felt no pain.

While at first this might sound appealing — not having the physical pain — it was a problem during my recovery from this injury. I needed physical therapy to regain the use of my right hand. A basic treatment principle in physical therapy for regaining lost motion is to move the injured body part to the point of discomfort. Since I did not have discomfort or pain I could not tell the physical therapist what was too much pressure. I couldn’t guide the intensity of the physical reconditioning based on what hurt. It was frustrating for both the physical therapist and for me. I never gained full use of my fingers on the injured hand.

It was such a nightmare when I was in hospital to not be able to answer their 'on a scale of 1-10 how and where do you feel pain'? I didn't freaking know! I was just doubled over but somehow not feeling it at all. It was wild, although not so much so when, decades back I was giving birth to my middle son and was told I was not in labour due to my lack of physical symptoms. I was almost committed to the mental health unit as I fought to be looked at - I was afraid for my newborn if she didn't listen. He was born 15 minutes later. Dangerous.

I didn't have a 'high tolerance' for pain like my mother used to say. I didn't feel pain at all. Not emotional either. This, in fact is why, I realize now, a therapist called me masochistic when hearing about my life with my children's father in counseling. Has anyone else here been told or have a feeling that their pain responses are dulled or non-existent?

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Yes, I think it's dissociative for me too. I am unaware of quite a lot of pain and at points none whatsoever and this was noted when I was in hospital when they were cleaning the clots and shards of dried blood inside very deep self-inflicted wounds before being stitched up. He was using what he said was a chilled saline, something else antibacterial and was at points, he said being quite rough. I never flinched, breathed sharply or anything. He kept apologising and eventually looked at up me at one point and said "You can't feel any of this, can you?" and of course the answer was no. He thought it was surprising and unusual. Unfortunately I don't think he wrote it down on my file and now my GP (or anyone else except my T) believes me. There have been other times with illness or other injuries but none quite so obvious as this.

 

[Kefira]

I have this on occasion. It seems like when I'm aware of something and am focusing on it I can feel it, but I'm always coming up to scrapes and bruises and even large cuts I get because I'm clumsy. And pretty often I only notice them because they're bleeding, or someone else asks me how I got that particular injury. It's a little disconcerting.

With major stuff though, I'm more likely to be freaked out and triggered. Strange dichotomy.

 

[Chosen]

I feel pain, but I have a high tolerance for it. After I broke my foot, the doc was pressing on different bones to see what was going on--my face went white, but I didn't make a sound or scream...he was amazed.

Even dentist and any other kind of pain, I just don't feel it as strongly as other people do. I am somewhat glad I feel pain, though, because then I can take care of it. Oddly enough, though, I can take children's motrin (the dose for a 3 year old) and it removes pain for me...so apparently I'm very sensitive to pain relievers.

 

[Nam]

I'm like @Kefira. If I feel it too much, I will either blank out or freak out. I had an electric shock injury when I was little past the let go threshold. I dissociated that event. It was weird though. I could hear screaming and realized it was me. I only came back to really take a breath (very difficult) and left again. So mild? I do remember it so I couldn't have gone too far.

I had two kids without drugs. The last one I almost fainted. But I can't say I dissociated.

If I have to leave because it's painful, it has to be pretty bad. But for emotional pain, it's easy to leave.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I should point out mine isn't all the time. Usually I have an relatively high thresh-hold for pain and as stated above - sometimes I can't feel pain at all. I'm also good at enduring/tolerating sustained pain and growing levels of pain for long periods of time without being aware - and then usually of the discomfort of what is causing the pain not the pain itself.

Then sometimes everything - every little touch, even no touch at all hurts. Mostly this is hormonal and occurs regularly up to a week and a half before I'm due on. With this, the palms of my hands (and occasionally feet) burn if they touch nearly anything or move much, even soft cotton feels rough and I feel something similar to rope burn from it.

 

[sun seeker]

Do you remember whether there was ever a time when you weren't this way? I ask because while it sounds likely dissociative because you say you don't feel emotional pain either, there is a rare chromosomal condition where a person can't feel pain. It would have been present from birth and can be pretty dangerous.

 

[shimmerz]

Do you remember whether there was ever a time when you weren't this way?

T and I think it was from 4 days old. I had a serious operation at that time. Incredible amounts of pain would have been involved for months afterward, as I was healing.

Funny thing is I don't 'hurt' but react VERY quickly to being sliced open, where I don't react to anything else. I freak (well, compared to my normal stone cold reaction). Crying, all sorts of crazy human like stuff. Go figure.
I feel like that is some sort of cellular memory.

Then sometimes everything - every little touch, even no touch at all hurts.

Wild. Any idea why this is @Kas_Can_Fly ? Can you make any sense of it?

 

[Ronin]

I don't feel some ranges of pain, sit out the ones that I do, and what I do register as pain, I register mostly quite a while later, before that, push it aside. It's still rather irritating to most of my health care providers, ahem. Admitting, admitting, re-learning to react to what I feel, is bit of an ongoing struggle, but still on a to-do's list. That and surrounding myself with people who won't add on pain just to test it out.

I basically figured I'd treat that weird as hell pain sensitivity as a form of an injury on its own; with more carefulness.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Can you make any sense of it?

No, not at all - like I say I've put most of it under an all reaching "Hormonal" bracket, but I don't really think that's it at all. My T keeps asking me to get loads of stuff checked out by the doctors but they seem to blow it off, so I haven't really chased it up, I've been like it for as long as I can remember.

I have wondered if their somatic or even flashback related but I've nothing memory wise that would make any sense. Also at points it seems entirely unrelated - I can be really stable/happy and get it - though I'm almost always exhausted so it could be related to overtiredness maybe.

Sorry to hijack with that! :oops:

 

[shimmerz]

who won't add on pain just to test it out.

So true. I am seeing this as a huge piece for me.

though I'm almost always exhausted so it could be related to overtiredness maybe.

This affects me big time, not with pain but in other ways. I don't feel tired either (weird, I know but falls under the same issue I think) but if I go through it logistically, it makes sense I am tired at the time. I have noticed that I get really cold when tired as well. An internal kind of cold that I can't shake.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I get really cold

YES!! So, so impossibly cold - no amount of blankets or hot water bottles can stop it, only sleep. I thought that it was a blood sugar thing but I'm not so sure. I also get chilled like this from anxiety - which makes me tired, so who knows! My T has seen me like this at one session and was surprised/worried by it - I get very pale and my fingers, toes and nose go white, even bluish. I was shivering from it wearing thermals, warm clothes and a huge hoodie, at the (albeit end of) summer.