My Uncle Is Still In Denial That I Am Mentally Disabled And Cannot Do Most Things.

[Kristina25]

I asked for advice on what I should do if I think someone is stalking me on Facebook. And this is his reply: "
I have already given it to you. Not everything should be posted on facebook. It makes you seem foolish. As for "stalkers ", get a job, go to school, volunteer your time to help others, something. Sitting on your ass thinking about lupus, fursuits, witchcraft, god and goddess, and all the rest of the silly bullshit that you fill your mind with, tells me that you have too much time on your hands. In short, get a life. It's up to you to do it, no one else can do it for you. I love you, Kristina, and it is sad to see you waste your life like this, but that's your choice. That's also the only reason that I haven't blocked you from my facebook. The thoughtless posts that you put up, make me feel embarrassed for you."

I am SMI and I have Borderline Personality Disorder, I also have PTSD and Social Anxiety Disorder (Undiagnosed because the doctor says I don't need one because I am on meds for them both). I am also Bipolar Type 2. I am on SSDI because the SSA considers me disabled. Which I am. I can't Socialize with people half of the time because of my mental issues. And I certainly can't work because of them. And would be surprised if I could even find a full time job or even part time job as I have been fired from 3 jobs. He thinks he knows me. He thinks I don't have the issues that I have but I do. I just wish somebody else here could understand what I am going through. Because none of my family does. They probably all think I'm faking it. I know my biological father does.

 

[Fadeaway]

I think you will find that in general most people who have never dealt with any kind of mental or emotional issues themselves, can't get it because they have a far different perception on mental illness than someone who have dealt with it. Blame the culture. You probably don't fit his stereo type of what mental illness looks like.

I also have Link Removed and Social Link Removed Disorder (Undiagnosed because the doctor says I don't need one because I am on meds for them both).

This one makes no sense to me. They don't diagnosis you based on what medications you are on. Medication is irrelevant to diagnosis. It seems strange to me that any professional would say such a thing. If they told you that you had PTSD and Anxiety, then that is a diagnosis.

 

[Kristina25]

This one makes no sense to me. They don't diagnosis you based on what medications you are on. Medication is irrelevant to diagnosis. It seems strange to me that any professional would say such a thing. If they told you that you had PTSD and Anxiety, then that is a diagnosis.

He says it is not in my file of diagnoses.

 

[Justmehere]

What does SMI mean? This is an international forum and it's best to avoid abbreviations. :)

 

[WildMermaid]

PTSD is not that hard to diagnose so I would make sure that is in file if possible. The uncle sounds thoughtless in word and deed and if you wish to keep him on your friend list maybe make a filter for family and then only include him when relevant. I do know people that have made two profiles, or a page to separate personal from public life. The FB stalker issue is much harder to solve unless you can just block the person and you do not have mutual contacts.

 

[Kristina25]

What does SMI mean? This is an international forum and it's best to avoid abbreviations. :)

It means Serious Mental Illness. Or when someone has it they are deemed Seriously Mentally Ill.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree with your uncle.

Take a look at those people here who are working on their healing. Do they sit at home and do nothing? No, most of them do not. You will see that some people work, some people have families, some people volunteer, some people are in recovery programs, some people go to school.....the list goes on and on.

So my question to you is why aren't you working on your healing, too? I recall that it was suggested to you by someone that you get into a day program but you refused (or something like that). If things really are that bad, why aren't you working on getting better?

It sounds like you haven't been diagnosed. Yes, a diagnosis does matter. What your doctor says doesn't make much sense. I suggest finding a doctor who can diagnose you. I'm also a bit confused as your first post on the forum was in regards to your boyfriend having PTSD but you made no mention of your PTSD. Are you both a sufferer and a supporter?

 

[Friday]

It sounds like your uncle believes in you, and cares for you very much.

 

[Kristina25]

So my question to you is why aren't you working on your healing, too? I recall that it was suggested to you by someone that you get into a day program but you refused (or something like that). If things really are that bad, why aren't you working on getting better?

Um, that never happened. Nobody ever suggested I get into a day program. Atleast, I don't remember that. And I can heal but I cannot be healed perfectly. So no, I can't work

I'm also a bit confused as your first post on the forum was in regards to your boyfriend having PTSD but you made no mention of your PTSD. Are you both a sufferer and a supporter?

And I never said my current boyfriend had PTSD. My ex boyfriend has PTSD.

 

[Justmehere]

Mental illness in general is very hard for most people to understand. Family members are usually the most in denial.

It does sound like your uncle cares a lot for you. He may be picking up on a pattern I have seen in your posts here, and trying to lovingly encourage you in the best way he knows how.

In all your posts on the forum, you post about all the people in your life who won't accept how much you can't do things or how sick you are. You post about what you want everyone else to do. You never once post about what you can do or are doing to handle your serious mental illness. In various places on the forum, you have acted the same. Left and right, you plead how much everyone needs to do things for you, even here on a forum of fellow sufferers, without doing much of anything for yourself.

It seems like you are acting out a pattern of learned helplessness. This can happen after someone has been through trauma.

It is good to ask for help and seek to be understood, to some degree. However, it is very unhealthy for you to approach your recovery (and even your online safety) as something that depends SO MUCH on people like your family members understanding your struggle.

Your uncle may not understand your illness, but he does have some good suggestions that may help you be in less pain from your symptoms of your illnesses. Holding down a full time job vs volunteering are two very different things. I know of people who are in nursing homes for severe and debilitating mental and physical illness, who can not toilet themselves, but who still volunteer by making cards for fellow residents now and then. They do it because volunteering makes the volunteer feel good, and gives their difficult lives more meaning. It also makes others feel good too.

 

[Tanishq]

I can't work

I disagree with you here.

Working on healing is not exactly working for your money. Everyone can work on their healing. If you want to heal, you will have to make this choice. Solara means this, I am sure of it. You can work on your healing. There are ways to get healing.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

So unless someone can heal perfectly, they cannot ever work?

Uhm, I hate to break it to you but nobody can be healed perfectly. However, lots of people do meaningful things with their lives even though they have PTSD. Why is volunteering off the table?