Where Was Cpa?

[Dana1010]

I remember when I was taken into foster care when I was a kid. Very brief stay of a few months and then we were handed back to my mother. Now I can't understand why they gave us back. I know I'd be in a better place today if I'd been left in foster care.

That was the only brush with "the authorities" that ever took place during my entire childhood. I look back in awe at the years and years that rolled on while crazy, inappropriate, indefensible neglect and abuses took place in our house, and I can't believe it didn't occur to me to try to get emancipated. I guess I was too terrified about my parents finding out--challenging them in any way was unimaginable.

I just don't know who the Child Protection Agency ever reaches and saves--it must be a fraction of the children getting screwed. Can anyone relate? Do you ever look back and wonder how you fell through the cracks?

 

[Candleflames]

Frequently!

Protective services were called to my school and house regularly for about 3 years and no one did a damn thing. They took photos and made all kinds of paperwork. Still somehow my dad was able to turn on the charm and they'd walk away feeling sorry for him having to deal with such a messed up child.

Makes me sick. And yes I am still bitter. :grumpy:

I have thought about trying to get those records to see what exactly happened.

 

[shimmerz]

I have my records, know enough of what happened. I was sent back over and over again to parents who were consistently referred to as 'severely disturbed' with no follow up from case workers while I was in their home. Foster care was just as bad but I think that was because my parents damaged me horribly every time the CAS sent me back to them. Here is Canada (not sure about elsewhere) there is no ombudsman control over our 'protective services'. It is absolutely tragic.

 

[Friday]

I had a veteran CPS worker cry on my shoulder a few months ago. Gah. Time. Almost a year ago. The intern was still all fire and "There has to be something we can do!!!" There wasn't. The 30+ year veteran told me she'd explain it to her, later. I didn't need to hear everything I already knew. The best they could do was clear me of charges. Keep finding me not-neglectful & not-abusive. Not jack shit they could do to anyone they find guilty of abuse & neglect.

I spent over a year, and went 80k into debt proving child abuse, neglect, and the strong potential (aka expectation) that the abuse would continue. Also, assault with intent (to kill).

I proved it in Family Court.* (60k plus)
I proved it to CPS. (Free-ish, using other supporting evidence)
I proved it to the Guardian ad Litem. (6k)
I proved it to the Parenting Evaluator (8k)
I proved it to the Psych Evaluator ($2500)

* My mistake. Should have proved it in criminal court. Double jeopardy attached (ish... The DA won't touch anything already "found" in family court, even though there are loopholes), so he won't spend a day in jail. Just the weekend anger management seminar.

The only way I could get anyone to even look was by spending money like water.

I'm out of money.

My ex isn't.

You know what all that money spent bought? A weekend anger management seminar. My asshole ex can fight me with $1,000 an hour attorneys. He has half custody. Through multiple hospitalizations (of my child that he is still abusing), through 2 serious suicide attempts.

The laws are stacked in his favor. This "2 parent child" bullshit. If a parent wants half custody? Even if they've been proven unfit? They get it. Period. As long as they're willing to go to a weekend seminar... They get it. The fancy pants attorneys just mean they get it immediately, instead of after dozens of hearings a year from now. Money talks. It means they go and admit guilt in family court before criminal charges are filed, so they duck out on any jail time. It means that any time I try to file anything? I'm met with a thousand legal roadblocks. Also, it usually means my son ends up in the hospital. Which is more of a deterrent to my filing worthless paper, than the tens of thousands in fees it would take for me to fight him.

Add in these f*cking privacy laws (My state is a "consent state". Which means you have to give your consent in order to be filmed). So my son filming his beating, or worse? Not only cannot be used against his assailant, but he's old enough now that he'll have charges filed against him for not only filming someone without their consent, but if he's stripped naked during it? Raped? Child pornography. How's that for just f*cking fantastic??? Film your own rape, take it to the police begging them to arrest your dad, and get arrested for it.) Motherf*cking cocksucking bastard lawmakers and the f*cking idiots who vote for these fear mongering reactive legislation. Oh... I might be embarassed on Facebook! Sure. Meanwhile the kids filming their mom beat their dad to death, while they hide in the closet? Are not only given back to the c*nt, but if old enough charged for violating her f*cking privacy. Fanf*ckingtastic.

Why doesn't CPS do anything? Does it even matter? Even when they do remove a child, the courts just turn around and hand them back.

ETA. Sorry. Touchy subject.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

The prevailing thought is....maybe was?.....that children are best off with their mothers......both parents if they are still together. Its a bit ridiculous considering that CPS is forced to "investigate" cases of "neglect" such as parents who let their kids go to the park by themselves. GASP! Oh, no, not the park! Such horrid parents! CPS is so messed up. Investigating parents who take a more hands off approach to encourage independence, while those who CLEARLY neglect and abuse their children get to keep them. Bottom line, the system is f*cked up.

 

[sun seeker]

I know there are cases where it's obvious that they should intervene, and they don't. On the other hand, I've seen cases where good parents under stress asked for help and were forever labeled as bad parents and had their children taken away. Either way, it's tragic. I think a lot of social workers are seriously messed up people.

Bit of a triggering subject. I'll just say that much and take my leave. Lots of sympathy to all of you who have lived with the consequences of such injustice.

 

[Dana1010]

What kind of imbeciles/lunatics would think a child who wants out of their own home with their own parents is making stuff up? How the hell would the thought ever cross a kid's mind if there wasn't something seriously wrong?

I've seen cases where good parents under stress asked for help and were forever labeled as bad parents and had their children taken away.

This amazes me, because to me it seems like we could have been strung up from a tree, doused with kerosene, and set on fire, and still the neighbors, acquaintances, friends would not have bothered to pick up the phone. As if CPS itself weren't enough of a joke, you need a witness to pick up the phone in the first place--don't hold your breath.

 

[illusionist]

Oh the neighbours would have picked up the phone if we were tied to their tree and their tree was being damaged.
With respect to everyone on here, and elsewhere, there are some kids who do make things up for whatever reasons.

 

[Notsowild]

Ah CPS.... When I finally told the police about my sexual abuse by my father, I went into foster care. But they left my younger sisters there. So I had to go to court to get my sisters removed from the house. They removed my one sister and left my handicapped sister there . What the f--k! She was eventually abused too by my father and I still carry alot of guilt about that.

 

[illusionist]

Notsowild...I just cannot understand why they would take one kid out and leave the rest in. This is similar to my story except with foster parents....I just don't get it, especially when my brothers stories tallied up. I've tried to figure out a reason but just can't. Good on you for fighting for your sisters. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about..you should hold your head high for what you've done.

 

[Fadeaway]

@FridayJones I feel for you, our stories sound similar except they allowed my ex to disappear with my kids. They gave my ex custody even though he had been convicted of abuse. The awarded me visitation but allowed him to disappear and no one will enforce my visitation rights or go after him for parental kidnapping. They just say "Oh he disappear with your kids and no one can find him? we can't help you because this little check mark wasn't checked by the judge, so yeah, he could take your kids to Jupiter for all we care."

I have serious issues with them, because I know for a fact if they think a kid is to damaged and will cost them too many resources they won't step in. It is all about profit.

Yeah, they took me when I was 5 but they gave me to my grandparents who felt forced into taking me, and I never heard the end of it. I would have been better off if they had left me with a drug addict or put me in foster care instead of with people who were pissed off they had to take me in because, "We already did our job we shouldn't have to raise you too." But according to them I should feel lucky that I was getting molested instead of out on the streets thanks to their amazing generosity, because well, you know what happens to little girls who raise them selves on the streets.... Grrrrrr, I gotta stop before I throw something

 

[jaccat]

Yeah. There's been a lot of focus on child social services here in the last few years, after a few cases got into the media. It's probably still all f****d up.

When I was little they had nothing to do with us, but my family was known to them. My sister tells a story from before I was born, about how dad vanished for a week and mum went on a bender, leaving my 9 year old sister to look after my then 7 and 5 year old brothers. The family had a social worker then. My sister told her what happened, nothing was done.

I'm pretty certain they were involved again over the circumstances of my birth. Did they do anything? No. As far as I can gather one of them convinced my father to marry my mother as this was enough to get them off his back. Huh?