Is My Therapist Doing Emdr Right?

[Janellen]

She says all EMDR has to be eventually traced back to a trauma from ages birth to 14 years old. I have not yet reprocessed any traumas because she has stopped me after a few sessions and says I must do something, or this isn't the appropriate memory. I just want to work on some traumas from adulthood that trigger me, and then move on from the therapy, but I keep getting dragged around in circles.

 

[ihateusernames]

She says all EMDR has to be eventually traced back to a trauma from ages birth to 14 years old.

That just doesn't make any sense. You can't trace a car accident or a near fatal disease or war trauma back to your childhood. Being attacked or stalked or raped isn't a product of a bad childhood. Somebody can have a perfect childhood and experience later traumas.

Maybe she's trying to do some different type of emdr or- something...:confused:

 

[Lucycat]

I have not yet reprocessed any traumas because she has stopped me after a few sessions

This sounds odd. I used one session to process one memory. It sounds like she is dragging it all out. I do appreciate that she may be thinking 'there is more to this'

For example - a friend had EMDR after being unable to drive following a car accident ( many months/years previously). However in EMDR it was established that she had been involved in a car accident as a child in which another child died. So - for her - it was important to address and process the earlier memory before looking at the more recent accident.

However, the therapist established this to be the appropriate target for the EMDR in the first assessment - not after several unsuccessful attempts.

In my own case my T asked me how I wanted to progress with EMDR. Most of my trauma occurred in one particular house, so I elected to progress room by room through the house. This seemed logical to me as the time frame was so muddled I could not have done it in sequence. Also, importantly it put me in control. I had many sessions over many months and found it very helpful. Only twice did I have more than one session on a memory, as I did not consider it cleared.

Please don't share more than you are comfortable with - but may I ask what the trauma at age 20 was? I am just trying to get my head round what your therapist might be doing.

 

[Janellen]

It was a interpersonal/social trauma. I think her idea is to go back to childhood to see what the core belief was that made me react the way I did when the actual trauma happened. It could be helpful. However, I want to resolve the adult trauma without being taken down a different path. I think I should talk to her about it. From my experience with her, she is really adamant about her beliefs. Like I'll bring something up, and she will say, you can't change people, places and things, you can only change yourself, then everything else changes. Yes, but sometimes a certain belief isn't the answer to every problem. She is kind of the same with this. She really insists on doing the EMDR a certain way, and it doesn't really seem necessary to doing EMDR correctly. It is difficult to have a partnership with her, but it is possibly my fault. I can at least try bringing this up with her.

 

[Kintsugi]

This sounds totally off the wall to me on so many levels. I agree with others that I typically hear EMDR is riskier and potentially less effective for those with complex or childhood trauma.

The fact that you are interpreting this relationship's issues as "possibly my fault" is a giant red flag to me. I don't think clients should feel that way if their T seems to be staunchly attached to how things should be or need to be. It sounds to me like you are trying to compromise with a T who is unwilling to meet you halfway, and then you're turning around and thinking about maybe blaming yourself for not bending her way? I don't know what social trauma means, exactly (Domestic violence? Family violence? Cult environment/totalitarian regime?), but it sounds like self-blame could easily be a resulting symptom of such trauma.

It's also a huge red flag to me that she is telling you there is a memory you need to uncover somewhere. That is so wrong to me. If she said she feels like there might be early trauma you haven't come to terms with, that's one thing, but saying, "No, this isn't the right memory. Find me another from this early period," THAT sounds like a recipe for recovering false memories. Wtf? Is anyone else hearing this risk?

I think you should call around to other Ts who do EMDR for trauma, Ts who will give you a free phone consultation. They don't have to be viably in your area. Call a few that look good, wherever they may be geographically, say you are interested in their services, and then quizz them on your current EMDR experience. If you find some good ones, I would hope they wouldn't just be looking to score a client and may give you some frank advice/opinions/insight on/into what your current T is doing.

I think this whole shebang sounds like your T is playing with psychological fire. She sounds dogmatic. Dogmatism does not seem particularly conducive to trauma therapy IMO. And I have never heard someone say that EMDR is exclusively for people with early trauma. Regardless, if EMDR were exclusively for people with early trauma (which it totally is not), then she should tell you to look into alternate modalities, not to find her an acceptable trauma to delve into.

I just seriously cannot believe what I am reading. Personally, I find this treatment outrageous.

 

[Janellen]

When I say it is my fault, I am just saying I should really take responsibility and communicate with her better. The challenge is that she seems to want to do things her way. I think I might want to try EMDR at a later time. Maybe it is time to cut my losses. I consider what I have to be complex trauma, but I get these episodes that you could call mania or worse (psychotic symptoms.) I thought it would be great to go through some things that have traumatized me and maybe immunize myself from future episodes. But the traumas happened over and over, so it's not like it's like one event. So it seems as though EMDR would be a kind of meandering process.

 

[Kintsugi]

I really think you could benefit from a second, third, or sixth opinion before you make any major decisions.

Why not just call around to see if this is being done right? A lot of members here go through multiple therapists and modalities before they find a good fit. Unfortunately, it's not always (or even typically) an easy process to get suitable treatment. Luckily, if you manage to accomplish this, it is always worth it.

 

[Jane.l]

I have just done a training workshop( for the agency I volunteer for) with a specialised sexualised trauma therapist - who is trained in EMDR, she said she advises extreme caution if using it in complex trauma and not to even think about it if the client is dissociative or unstable.

I don't recognise anything your T is saying regarding EMDR - be careful.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@Janellen if you decide searching for another therapists here are few things that I found useful:

1. specialized in trauma
2. non-judgemental
3. safe environment
4. compassion/empathy

Usually, they have this things listed on their web site. As @Simply Simon said, there are different modality that can be used for traumatized people. Besides EMDR, somatic approaches are also useful. If you want to gain more perspective, you can read the book "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk.

 

[seedling]

My EMDR therapist started with the youngest memories I had, but not the worst ones. We did not start with my adult trauma that caused my PTSD.

She said the the older memories are feeder memories to the later ones.
That I could work on the later memories but the early ones would be unresolved. By working on the earliest, I would be resolving parts of the future ones as well.
Maybe this is why your therapist wanted to start with memories from a younger age?
It's odd though, if you don't have those memories - what's the point? Why not start where you can and see where it goes and how it works for you?

When I was first diagnosed with PTSD (5 yrs ago) I was not aware of my early trauma. I became aware of a traumatic young memory a few years into therapy, and then started to see some other childhood memories (that I already knew about) in a different light. If I had done EMDR early on I would have told my therapist that I had no early trauma.

As I work on the earlier memories I'm starting to feel and think differently about the adult memories - my perspective is changed. I think I will still need to process my adult trauma memory but I think some of the sting will be out of it. In my last session I did flip forward into a specific part of my adult trauma. I let myself stay there and deal with it because it was something I needed to do in that session.

I appreciate that my therapist is practiced and follows a set routine and procedure - that said she has enough flexibility to listen to me and let me lead the way. She advises me on things I can do, then lets me try them out and adapt them to my specific use. I also listen to her and value her experience.

 

[ihateusernames]

No, this isn't the right memory. Find me another from this early period," THAT sounds like a recipe for recovering false memories. Wtf? Is anyone else hearing this risk?

You're not the only one. I was thinking the same. I personally would not be comfortable in that situation at all. Pushy and argumentative is not going to get anything but folded arms and a blank stare out of me. And I'd smile to her face, but go home and immediately cancel my next appointment. (I'm not telling you to do this, I'm just saying that's what my reaction would be.) It would just really strike me as manipulative behavior.

So anyway, even if what she's doing is justifiable that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to work out for you, @Janellen

 

[Janellen]

I did ask one professional, and they said that EMDR is proven for acute trauma. She said there is some evidence that it helps complex trauma, but it's not proven. I just had a session on Monday and I ended up feeling worse. I told her that a part of a memory made me feel good about myself, so she said, "go with that" and she sped the lights up. What I didn't get to tell her before she did that is that the memory made me feel good about myself, but in the context of having mixed feelings and being really uncomfortable, basically I was still processing the negative part and she interrupted me and insisted I move on. I told her that doing that wasn't helpful and she said sometimes she just speeds it up, it really doesn't matter. I left feeling worse mentally.