Not Sure If I Should Tell My Therapist Or Not

[Deleted member 1860]

and I mean i dont want him to get in trouble at the same time because he didn't mean to right? He just didn't understand I mean I said no but maybe he just didn't hear me so I don't want him to get in trouble if it's my fault anyways

He didn't mean to? I don't understand how "he didn't mean to"..... Its not like he tripped, fell, and whoops, it slipped in! Sorry to be crass, but yea, that's pretty much the only way that someone would "not mean to" rape someone.....And that has probably happened like once in all of human history! (I don't say "never" because crazy things do happen.)

Guys can't just go around forcing sex on women with the excuse of "she didn't say no" or "she didn't fight back". It doesn't work that way. Yes, he did rape you. No, its not your fault because you DID say "NO!"

Again, its NOT your fault!

(Why are you protecting your abuser rapist?)

Uhm, chances are that he will indeed do this again to someone else. You have the power to stop him now, or you can let it go with full knowledge that you're probably putting others at risk.

so I didn't fight back but at the same time it's my fault because I didn't fight back and I should of I just idk

Nope. Not fighting back doesn't mean it wasn't rape!

I didn't say no. I didn't fight back.

 

[hodge]

The one thing I really regret about my rape experiences is that I didn't report them or press charges. That was because of my mother. She didn't want me to have to testify in court. But I really wish I had. It could have saved others.

 

[Nicole0317]

He didn't mean to? I don't understand how "he didn't mean to"..... Its not like he tripped, fell, and...

Ok first of all I reported when my cousin r**** me like 7years ago and he went to jail for a year had a felony on his record and had to register as a sex offender......but my mom was telling me that he some how got all of that taken of his record which dosent make since
Now with my brother I just told someone about it last week and I am really flipping out because now I'm gonna have to talk to CPS and there is a good chance that I'm gonna have to talk about what my cousin did to and yea I can't do that without having a panic attack or dissociating or flashback etc.... You get my point but yea I know my brother could hurt other people to that is basically the only reason I told anyone was because my sister is also living in the house and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't say anything and he was doing Something to her and this kind of makes me mad is my parents are all like hoping that he doesn't get charged with anything and all that stuff and not to mention they are sitting over here telling me not to be mean to him because it's hard for him to and I'm like what the heck how is this possibly harder for him than me! Sorry just saying like really think they are not understanding this
But I couldn't get charges filled if I wanted to because first of all yea what my brother did lasted for about 3years and it has stopped for the last 2years so I couldn't get files charged I don't think plus my parents would not want me to file charges

 

[hodge]

That is so wrong that your parents are protecting him. Just wrong!!

 

[digger]

You have the power to stop him now, or you can let it go with full knowledge that you're probably putting others at risk.

@Nicole0317 and anyone else reading this, please know that the responsibility for an abuser's actions, past and potentially future, ALWAYS lies with the abuser and not his or her victims.
It's sounds like things are in process now anyway in your case, but just needed to say this anyway. Some people feel able to go through the process of reporting, some people don't. If you don't and the person that abused you goes on to abuse someone else THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT - it is the abusers fault.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Fully agree with @digger, not your fault if they abuse other people.

 

[Nicole0317]

That is so wrong that your parents are protecting him. Just wrong!!

Yea I know I mean I understand to a extent I guess because he is there son to and my brother is telling my parents that he never did anything even though he did which May I say is so frustrating I'm afraid that everyone is gonna beleive him over because he's younger ..... :(:cry::bag::bag::banghead::nailbiting::nailbiting: And I have an appointment with my T tmrw but am kind of flipping out because there is another thing I still have to tell her... And because really hoping not to get caught in the tropical storm bill that is hitting us tonight or tmrw and not to mention since my brother is no longer allowed to be at home alone with me or my sister and so my mom has her appt with my T at 9 so I have to sit with my brother in a room for a hour which will feel like FOREVER and then at 10 I have my appoi met.

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry you have to sit with your brother for that long of a time before your appt. I can't imagine what that would be like. I mean, I've been raped, but never by my younger brother. I'm wishing the best for you . . . hoping you don't get that storm and hoping you get through that time before your appt., as well as during your appt.

 

[Nicole0317]

I'm so sorry you have to sit with your brother for that long of a time before your appt. I can't imagine wh...

Well sadly I'm getting the storm rather like it or not actually getting the worst part of it but thanks it's nice to know someone agrees with me about all of that and everything

 

[KwanYingirl]

In my state, there are no statute of limitations regarding rape. This is to protect young victims not revealing their abuse til they are much older and the state wants all predators to be tried and convicted.

 

[Nicole0317]

In my state, there are no statute of limitations regarding rape. This is to protect young victims no...

I'm not sure what ours in Texas I just know that i am not ready or wanting to talk to cps at all!

 

[ihateusernames]

^Similarly here, the statute of limitations is something like 18 years after your 16th birthday if you were under 16.