Goddamn It I'm In F*cking Love

[anthony]

How is this going?

 

[Kintsugi]

Well, I left B (about the time Anthony posted the above; I didn't see that till now :meh:). It literally went as well as it possibly could and I am glad.

In... 8 hours I will pick up an from the airport. I am so nervous. I can't stop shaking.

My history of sexual abuse and abusive relationships makes all of this so much harder. I was terrified of N when I knew him six years ago. He is much better now (his PTSD is waaay more managed), and I know him much much better, but I am still worried I will be scared of him. I'm worried I'll flinch when he tries to touch me. I'm worried I'll shut down. I'm worried I'll be as nervous as I am now the whole week he's here.

Needed space to vent.

 

[anthony]

Just tell him you're nervous before anything happens to concern either of you.

 

[Kintsugi]

Well, he's here.

I'm not nervous anymore. We just had an awesome... Expensive... Ice breaker. In the form of him landing my car in a ditch.

He was all to pieces over it, but I actually feel... Much better.

Will keep this place posted. I'm deliriously tired, been awake 36 hours. :dead: I have the day off tomorrow thank god. I guess we need to go get my car fixed. She's not hurting that badly. Whoooo...

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Good luck to you @Simply Simon We are both at new beginnings right now.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

Er, yay, ouch, yay?

The best ice-breakers always seem to be the most extreme ;)

Good luck with the car, the sleep, and the new guy!

 

[iwannadeletethis]

Hope all is well!! Sounds like quite the adventure.

 

[The Albatross]

She's not... who's running the show? Not to mention 36 hours awake Simon. Not optimal. I would advise caution but it appears "she's" in the drivers seat and is not exercising responsible decision making.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Good thing I have been suddenly napping lately. Much here is 'Ting.' Breathing exercises and exposure.

How you leave things is very important. Morally, ethically, monetarily, be as open and generous as you can. The bait and switch forcing the other to do the breaking is shitty, leaving them guessing at what they should and could have done differently. Not fair, not decent. Truth is you want out. Say it. The consequences are real that doing so would put you in harms way? Have someone be there with you. Face to face any relationship of worth deserves.

And for what it is worth, long distance relationships are just like a vacation, not where ya live, how you live.

No sleep and a car accident - hmmmmm.

BTW : - I am doing OK with this on most levels of expose therapy. Good long dog walk first helped.

Post title says much Simply Simon. Be well, be careful - just so curious about the whole house thing you signed on for, quite a commitment - again, leave things as well as you can, no matter how uncomfortable.

 

[Kintsugi]

@Changeling I actually did not sign anything for the house, which was not a mistake. I didn't have my name on a single thing, thankfully.

@The Albatross Well noted.

For the record everyone, Simon did not have a car accident. N hydroplaned into a small ditch. Simon was at work. ;)

 

[Deleted member 28740]

I actually did not sign anything for the house

This is the murky area of relationships.