@Skitzii I am 61 and still am surprised and shocked at other people. It's just how my brain works. I dont see the need to be an asshole or a snake so it amazes me when I see it. I am still told I am naive. Someone in another thread told me that because I had thought finding the right medication would allow me to feel happy. They told me I came across as naive. Yep. No argument there. So I had to come up with a gauge. For me, it's a Narcissist gauge or a BPD gauge as both of those conditions are not something I can keep my PTSD at bay around. I cannot have anyone with those conditions in my life at all.
It's as though I had to come up with an interpretation of other people's behaviours and give myself permission to keep those people at a great arm's length. I thought that meant I was judging them and therefore being an asshole myself.
I had to focus on my wellbeing and tell myself that some personality types are simply not compatible and it was OK to gauge those types in people I meet to protect my wellness.
It is also in a way allowing those people to find someone else they dont feel riled up around and defensive. So it's not all one-sided, it is allowing them to find what makes them feel good about themselves somewhere else, cos they are never going to feel good about themselves around me.
I tell the truth too much and even my quiet discomfort is not able to be hidden.
So, if you need a Snake Gauge, make it. Write out what a Snake looks like for you and keep those words on the top of your brain to protect your self. It's not a bad thing to do. It's a good thing for you. You're the one suffering PTSD, not the snake. The snake is just fine and nothing you say or do will make them believe anything different, so you have permission to use whatever tools work for keeping your wellbeing intact, including Snake Detector Tests.
