What Treatment Is There For Dissociation?

[barefoot]

how do you cope with all the emotions etc if you do not dissociate.... if it didn't happen to me then I really think I would not be able to cope or manage with anything I have had this all my life.

My therapist always said that my psyche will never allow anything that I can't manage. So when I stopped dissociating, it was presumably because my psyche knew I didn't need it anymore and that I can manage without it. At the time, I never really bought in to that idea but now my dissociation has improved, I can see that my therapist might have known what she was talking about ;-)

I think the key thing around that though is that it's not going to be easy or comfortable. When dissociation leaves, you are going to find yourself sitting with a load of stuff that dissociation has protected you from and helped you to avoid. When you can't numb out, you have no choice but to sit and feel.

So, it will be uncomfortable and feel shitty and you may want to be able to numb out and hate the fact that that's not happening and there are times when that feels almost unbearable. But - it is still manageable. Because being manageable doesn't mean you're suddenly completely ok and feeling great and this is now all very easy and pain-free. It is going to hurt. But that doesn't mean it will break you - though sometimes it might feel that way!

 

[barefoot]

Well done if you have worked through the dissociation

For the last couple of weeks I've got pretty spacey in therapy sessions - not full-on, deep dissociation as I used to do. But I wasn't very present and I completely went out of relationship with my therapist. So it looks like, for now at least, me 'checking out' can still be triggered.

 

[watundah]

The thing about dissociation is that it can feel so good. It stimulates dopamine. I used to love zoning out in the morning when sitting on the couch and would be mildly irritated when my partner would talk and make me come out of it!

Ive only ever had one full episode of loss of time where I completely blanked out in therapy. Most often I am in a spacey zone because therapy is a trigger due to the anxiety levels it induces. We are working diligently on this and I agree it is very slow, arduous and akin to wading through knee deep yogurt. A lot of times the response to the question of "what are you feeling in your body" has been "nothing". This hurdle has truly been one of the most difficult for me. I wish I could suggest a fast track. I believe that reading what you can about it helps as well as identifying what triggers you into a frozen state. Becoming body aware is huge - grounding techniques, yoga, meditation, even just walking-focusing on breathing. I am not sure how long you've been working on this but stick with it. Don't give up on the grounding. Simply thinking about your feet touching the ground at first sign of spacing out does help. You are pulling yourself out of a long endured and familiar fog. It's haaard!

 

[barefoot]

The thing about dissociation is that it can feel so good.

Oh yes! I miss it. Hugely. And I often sit in therapy feeling the unbearable uncomfortability of everything and just willing dissociation to swoop in and make it all feel better. And the fact that it doesn't' makes me feel even more anxious and desperate! I've told my therapist countless times in the last couple of months that I don't care if dissociation leaving is progress - I want it to come back. She is deeply compassionate and nods and smiles and says 'I know, I understand.' I have no idea if she does actually 'know' or 'understand'.

A lot of times the response to the question of "what are you feeling in your body" has been "nothing".

Same here. Getting from a point of being so numbed out you don't feel anything to being aware of feeling something, is huge. Then it's getting from being aware that you feel something to being able to identify what it is you feel. Then, from identifying it to be able to articulate it and work with it in session. I really struggle with all this stuff. But as @watundah says grounding techniques are so key to this kind of body awareness/mindfulness/conscious living or whatever else you want to call it.

 

[Casper1018]

I am feeling emotions for the first time, which had been extremely difficult but manageable. I was never one to cry, or even be allowed to, and the floodgates have opened and it's been tough. I can still get a little spacey in session if really triggered or having a flashback but I don't check out like I did before. The med doesn't sedate me, but just takes away the numbing, which I'm thankful for!

 

[Ronin]

Eventually if it's overwhelming and you're in a safe space to do it, just wait it out.

Sometimes things just need out. Just be. Them flushed out may be cathargic & healing enough.

 

[Kailani]

Thank you for posting about this; it has been immensely helpful. Hope you feel that!!!

 

[oasis2003]

Wading through yoghurt, and slow and steady work towards not spacing out as much seems to describe the process of working from total numbness to actually beginning to feel again. Even though I don't want any one else to be like this too it has been reassuring to know that I am not alone in this all the advice and encouragement have been a pleasure to hear. It is so nice that people can relate to some things that are happening to me right now. A therapist can advise etc. but it is good to talk to people who are actually working through the same problems. I am just at the stage of trying to stay with an emotion to help it shift but as soon as this happens avoidance and spacey ness happens. I will keep trying and hopefully it will work. good luck to all you guys too. May you be in the moment and not too spaced out.:):)