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A Letter Introducing My Shadow

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Survivor41

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So I've seen a lot of forums on talking to your significant other about your PTSD. I have broken the news in person before, and it was very uncomfortable for both of us... but hey, he asked! I'm faced with my current significant other wanting to know now and would much rather write it in a letter so there's no drama or awkwardness to it; just the information and the absorption of it. Is this too impersonal? I've never done it this way before and feel the need and slight want to tell him (and explain why I'm missing a chunk of my ear and heart), but I don't want to scare him off or change anything. Any input helps! Thanks.
 
Are you active duty? And if so, does your command know (about your PTSD, accident, & cause of it)?

While a closet romantic, I'm also more than a bit jaded. Words given a lover today, can be weapons tomorrow.
 
Are you active duty? And if so, does your command know (about your PTSD, accident, & cause of it)?...
Well I trust this guy. He's a good friend and brother. I've known him for a year and have just started seeing him. He too has PTSD and knows that that's what caused my car accident (is this common knowledge?! Is it written on my forehead?!) and is very patient and understanding, as I am with him. Also, the car accident was an LOD, so yes, the Army knows everything. I have been working on taking back control and am still deployable.
 
They Id say go for it. At least try writing it out, see if it feels right. Can always shitcan it and tell him in person if it doesn't come together right.

The one thing I'd think about though, in saving awkwardness, is if you got the letter from him, what would follow next? While the initial reveal would be at a distance, would the next meeting with him be less awkward or more/ etc.? Judging others by ourselves doesn't always work, but it gives us a starting point, anyway.

I've never done it that way, either, so no personal experience on that front... Aside from 'never write anything down, you don't mind everyone knowing'. ;)

Also from experience... Guys tend to get all weird about rape. Seriously weird about it. So I can definitely understand wanting some distance in between / let him thrash it out on his own & not have to deal with that particular domino effect. Personally I go for the opposite. Have found that what works best for me is talking about anything dark -with fangs or without- in bed. Not in the act, clearly, unless unavoidable :p But Lots of skin to skin contact / gives them something to do (& Im okay with all 3 common reactions; sex, fierce holding, their getting up to storm about &/or wander = gives me the opportunity to take a shower or make sammiches in natural transition... Keep things casual on my end while they spin out & the suggest we hit up the range/ gym/ break/ bar/ whatever seems like a good outlet) / etc.
 
I met my friend online and after just a few weeks he told me about his combat PTSD through a letter. I fell in love with him even after his "warning"...which is what it was.

I know he prefers to deal with big issues through email because it usually gives him time to think and collect his thoughts and if that's what he wants/needs, then I don't mind either. :)
 
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