hi,so recently I've been having these negative thoughts about my spirituality.i don't know if it's because of these videos about the illuminati (about the illuminati in media) and my mind have been repeating the line "I sold my soul" that was said in the video I've been watching but a few hours or the next day I started having these thoughts about demons and the devil and I'm by no means a devil believer.i can't shake these thoughts they keep popping up 24/7 when I wake up & wherever I go,I've asked God to help but it doesn't work I stil get these thoughts.ive been literally focused on these thoughts since I had them,I don't know if it's bad anxiety or what.ive tried praying I just need help to make them stop.what should I do I believe in God but my conscience says otherwise.i go to sleep hoping when I wake up it'll go away but it doesn't.im afraid they'll never go away,I'm at my wits end I stopped caring at all I feel no emotion I feel empty my mind shows imagines of me killing people all I've been doing is crying .im getting stuck in my head a lot and I'm starting not to act like myself.someone please help and have you ever been through and experience similar to this one?
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Ptsd And The Devil
- Post starter Jennell
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The simple answer is yes. I had a period of time(s) where it felt like I had sold my soul. I had times where I felt possessed. I also had a very strong Roman Catholic upbringing and although I don't believe in the devil, devil stuff was a constant RC topic. We all needed to stay away from the devil, right? And if I did bad things, then the devil was with me, was what I was taught when I was young.
For me, the times that I rode through with that overwhelming feeling of something inherently 'evil' (the devil) in me had me dream in technicolour. Horrible things that I did in my dreams at those times. I just tried to stay with it and let it out of me. I reminded myself that no matter what I did not nor would I ever hurt anyone. I can't even watch shows for crying out loud, that contain any violence in them!
That being said, I also had dreams that I was operated on and made into a 'non human being. Which is how I felt at the time, but not the reality of my situation.
Stay strong, and do your best to see this as a feeling of 'badness' that has maybe being filtered through societies believe that the 'devil is in you' if you do bad things. Let it wash out of you in your waking moments as best as you can.
Are you in therapy? This is super unsettling stuff and will most likely require help if you can get it.
For me, the times that I rode through with that overwhelming feeling of something inherently 'evil' (the devil) in me had me dream in technicolour. Horrible things that I did in my dreams at those times. I just tried to stay with it and let it out of me. I reminded myself that no matter what I did not nor would I ever hurt anyone. I can't even watch shows for crying out loud, that contain any violence in them!
That being said, I also had dreams that I was operated on and made into a 'non human being. Which is how I felt at the time, but not the reality of my situation.
Stay strong, and do your best to see this as a feeling of 'badness' that has maybe being filtered through societies believe that the 'devil is in you' if you do bad things. Let it wash out of you in your waking moments as best as you can.
Are you in therapy? This is super unsettling stuff and will most likely require help if you can get it.
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I'm in talk therapy but I don't go and see her that often,I feel like if she knew this is might judge me to.ive tried this method called self-touch and it seems to calm my PTSD symptoms down and make them less intense.i uploaded a photo so you can see what it looks like and it's there for you need it.im sorry for the experience you when through.after I tried self touch I felt calmer but I was still numb and confused.thank you and may God bless you
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Upside Down Eagle
Diamond Member
My mind is fried but I´m going to try to type a decent response. :D
I´m not religious in any way. I´m not an atheist either - I purely believe what I feel and what I see (even when what I see, doesn´tt have a physical manifestation).
Yeah I did have this sensation too, and I want to emphasize that it can be counterproductive to try and "stop" them. The thing is, that if you´re trying to "stop them" or "stop it" (whatever you are comfortable calling it), then you are engaging with it. And engaging with it just means that you are going to be on that level some more. This was my experience.
When you want out of something, usually what helps is to take a step either back, to the right or left, but not towards it. You can back off of it, or you can walk around it - but my advice is to be in a place that is not trying to engage or confront these negative entities in any way. At one point I had a hyperfocus around this, and the only thing I saw was this. Everything positive dissapeared, but everything positive still existed outside of my focus. I just wasn´t looking at it.
It will stop once you´re not engaging with it. It´s like being in a room, and then deciding to walk out of it.
That is purely my viewpoint, but it was also the only approach that worked for me.
What I could also tell you it that "it" or "these" negative entities are not the enemy per sé. Our world is made up of darkness and light, togheter they create the contrast that is so unique to human beings (and I think the play between God and the Devil good be seen as methaphorical for it). They are both important.
P.S. Things you see in your minds eye are often similar to dreams (they can both be created by the subconscious). Most often they are purely symbolic (they were in my case). Maybe doing some research on dream interpretation could help.
I´m not religious in any way. I´m not an atheist either - I purely believe what I feel and what I see (even when what I see, doesn´tt have a physical manifestation).
Yeah I did have this sensation too, and I want to emphasize that it can be counterproductive to try and "stop" them. The thing is, that if you´re trying to "stop them" or "stop it" (whatever you are comfortable calling it), then you are engaging with it. And engaging with it just means that you are going to be on that level some more. This was my experience.
When you want out of something, usually what helps is to take a step either back, to the right or left, but not towards it. You can back off of it, or you can walk around it - but my advice is to be in a place that is not trying to engage or confront these negative entities in any way. At one point I had a hyperfocus around this, and the only thing I saw was this. Everything positive dissapeared, but everything positive still existed outside of my focus. I just wasn´t looking at it.
It will stop once you´re not engaging with it. It´s like being in a room, and then deciding to walk out of it.
That is purely my viewpoint, but it was also the only approach that worked for me.
What I could also tell you it that "it" or "these" negative entities are not the enemy per sé. Our world is made up of darkness and light, togheter they create the contrast that is so unique to human beings (and I think the play between God and the Devil good be seen as methaphorical for it). They are both important.
P.S. Things you see in your minds eye are often similar to dreams (they can both be created by the subconscious). Most often they are purely symbolic (they were in my case). Maybe doing some research on dream interpretation could help.
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sun seeker
Diamond Member
So sorry. I tried to answer, but found I can't. I will just say that my heart goes out to you.
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And this. If it's not something you have actually done, or are planning to do? Don't dwell on it.
If you're planning, that is a different advice & amount of concerns altogether, but that is not what the situation sounds like, here.
@Jennell
There is a speed to your thoughts and an intense pressure building within you from these disturbing thoughts that you are having.
Jennell, I recognize this state of mind that you display, I have lived it....and it feels really really awful, I know it does.
Your mind is racing because you are in a crisis.
Calling it a crisis need not scare you further, but it should motivate you to action.
You have told us that "I'm in talk therapy but I don't go and see her that often,I feel like if she knew this is might judge me to."
You need to tell your T. what you have told us on the forum.
Your T. needs to understand the state of mind that you are in.
You may need help to regain control over your thoughts.
That is what your T. has been trained to do.
Even if you do NOT tell your T. the content of your thoughts you CAN describe to your T. the way you feel and how these thoughts are overwhelming and that you can't stop.
Jennell will you consider taking action?
safe cyber:hug:to you.
You WILL get through this, but I think you may need some help.
I believe in you:happy:
Myanxietyhasanxiety
Silver Member
Wow! Thank you for this post @Jennell.
I'm not even kidding. I think I may have seen the same video or something similar. But I went through a REALLY weird phase. I called it the Dark days of the Soul! I investigated spirtuality, THE ILLUMINATI, alternative universes, the idea of DEMONS possession, aliens....
I could not talk to anyone about it with the fear of judgment or criticism!
I almost lost my entire belief system. The core of my existence. I didn't know if I believed anymore and questioned if I was in Hell. Then I believed maybe I was going through aN awakening, maybe in the dark period before Enlightenment.
It was all very dark. Very scary and very real.
Hold tight my friend. I just kept praying and asking God to protect me.
I made it THROUGH it! I will pray for you too! God bless you!
P.s. and Therapy. I know what you mean about feeling judged. But I promise a real professional with completely understand! Please talk to them. It is good to not feel alone during this. Please talk to someone. Please let them know what's in your head.
As many have said It could just be a manifestation of our anxieties. And with a history of beliefs/ Religion. The mystery, our creative minds, and our anxiety can amplify those thoughts. Best to reach out!
I'm not even kidding. I think I may have seen the same video or something similar. But I went through a REALLY weird phase. I called it the Dark days of the Soul! I investigated spirtuality, THE ILLUMINATI, alternative universes, the idea of DEMONS possession, aliens....
I could not talk to anyone about it with the fear of judgment or criticism!
I almost lost my entire belief system. The core of my existence. I didn't know if I believed anymore and questioned if I was in Hell. Then I believed maybe I was going through aN awakening, maybe in the dark period before Enlightenment.
It was all very dark. Very scary and very real.
Hold tight my friend. I just kept praying and asking God to protect me.
I made it THROUGH it! I will pray for you too! God bless you!
P.s. and Therapy. I know what you mean about feeling judged. But I promise a real professional with completely understand! Please talk to them. It is good to not feel alone during this. Please talk to someone. Please let them know what's in your head.
As many have said It could just be a manifestation of our anxieties. And with a history of beliefs/ Religion. The mystery, our creative minds, and our anxiety can amplify those thoughts. Best to reach out!
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Myanxietyhasanxiety
Silver Member
I also did research on Quantum Physics. I honestly recommend YOU avoid all thoughts in the dark if at all possible. No research, reading, watching videos that intensity that feeling. I thought the more educated I got, the better I would feel. It was quite the contrary. The more I read on it, the worse it got.
My mantra to avoid dark thoughts would be : please protect me God.
Then I am safe. I am ok. I'm exactly where I need to be in the moment. I am safe.
My mantra to avoid dark thoughts would be : please protect me God.
Then I am safe. I am ok. I'm exactly where I need to be in the moment. I am safe.
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