Strategy During Suicidal Thoughts?

[stillstanding2]

.things will probably escalate..

Back to Cashew's question, though. Is there a way for you to get out of the country, and if there is, will you take it?

 

[Chava]

I realized I would not only reflexively fight back to save my life, but I would do so furiously with no fear of death. Is this a useful thought to anyone else considering suicide.?

Interesting question. For me it's all about power, not necessarily even life or death. And your question brings about both parts. I have been attacked and gone numb. I have also just attacked innocent others while drunk (honestly didn't know what I was doing, but it was like a delayed attack, you know? Way delayed). So the "fight" instinct has stayed there for me, even after episodes of no hope for fighting or freeze. But the "fight" has become more attached to my sense of personal power than my physical life. And you suggesting fighting someone for your life, even if the fight kills you. That sounds like a power thing, and yet that is the fight reflex.

When I've attempted suicide, it really was about having power over what felt like a powerless situation (my life). The "fight" to live has been incredibly dim for...my whole life. The "fight" has always been about having personal power, power over my own body. Would I still swallow a bottle of pills or starve my way to the hospital? Yes. But don't f*ck with me... :mad:

Anyway, I can say I have a little "fight" directed at actually staying alive these days. I find it makes me impatient because I have wrecked my body in some ways and have some nerve damage. I really want to feel good. I can even think into the future sometimes (okay, like a few months :rolleyes:). But I'm putting a lot more energy into taking care of myself. I'm "fighting" for myself in a different way, if that makes sense. I've also redefined my sense of "power".

Considering actual thoughts of suicide? Last time I had an urge to destroy myself I left my doctor a message in the middle of the night. Just knowing I had reached out helped me come back to earth and go to sleep. And I got more help the next day. It's not like "fighting" to the death, but just super f*cking clear thinking lately, at least in cases of life or death (doesn't mean I make good decisions....I still end up in ER, but I get myself there).

 

[stillstanding2]

. But I'm putting a lot more energy into taking care of myself. I'm "fighting" for myself in a different way, if that makes sense. I've also redefined my sense of "power".

Good comments. More healthful self-defense.

You also mentioned "freezing" in some situations. Some have commented that they freeze, rather than fight, and they interpret that at a lack of survival instinct. I think freezing can be a normal and appropriate "action" when one is uncertain of what to do physically. A startled or panicked reaction often can be more harmful than the original threat. Any outdoorsman in the Rockies knows that your best chance of surviving a Grizzly attack is to play dead.

All of us have spilled or dropped things when startled, and we regret not freezing instead. More drastic would be letting myself be startled when my finger is on a trigger.

 

[Ronin]

I think freezing can be a normal and appropriate "action" when one is uncertain of what to do physically.

A very good point, here.

 

[Chava]

Any outdoorsman in the Rockies knows that your best chance of surviving a Grizzly attack is to play dead.

True! It's the same thing in all us mammals. But we don't consciously freeze under extreme stress. Either the system knows it is overpowered, or it was previously overpowered so reacts to threat in the same way. I tend to freeze and then I kick a hole in a wall after I thaw out (there is fight or flight energy buried by a freeze...none of it's a choice but the ANS really works this way).

 

[stillstanding2]

True! It's the same thing in all us mammals. But we don't consciously freeze under extreme stress.

I agree in most cases, however, I think freezing under extreme stress CAN be a conscious choice.

 

[Ronin]

Glad to see it was 'just' organizational difficulty @Nikie. Happy you're back here with us.

Did you get enough water and some rest since please? Hope you'll catch up on that ;)

Save ?? Aaammm nobody in SA is save

And being least in the eyes, but not completely isolated?

 

[Nikie]

Back to Cashew's question, though. Is there a way for you to get out of the country, and if ther...

Yes I would ... I will not think twice .. Slowly getting my kids out just need them educated and old enough to go.

 

[Nikie]

Glad to see it was 'just' organizational difficulty @Nikie. Happy you're back here with...

Thanks cashew.. I did catch up on the water peww it was 44 Celsius.. :tup:

 

[stillstanding2]

organizational difficulty

@Cashew, with your knowledge of, in your euphemism, "that continent", is there heightened risk to anyone discussing personal problems anonymously with people elsewhere? I don't want to "raise the temperature".

 

[stillstanding2]

Thanks cashew.. I did catch up on the water peww it was 44 Celsius.. :tup:

I'm glad you are OK @nickie. I've had heat exhaustion and dehydration before, so I know the dangers. Keep the water flowing and do rest. I may write more later.

 

[Nikie]

I'm glad you are OK @nickie. I've had heat exhaustion and dehydration before,...

Its a bit complicated the fact that the car broke ... It was somehow desturbing to me . Cos well aammm. My thoughts surrounding this Friday is not appropriate .. I have no grounds but the feeling is.. I don't judge .. Please and I don't want to make my husband look bad but it s just how I feel.

1. He sent us to town with a broken car again
2. He knew for 3 months I needed to go on this trip I paid a hell of a lot of money in advanced
3. He sent me alone .. He knew the car would not make it .. He sent me eneway.. ... He made me handle it alone.. Again..
4. It broke down in a deserted area where the zamzamas get out of the mines to Robb people that's why I could open any windows..
My brother live in town so he helped a lot...
My thoughts are maybe like those 10 thinks ms Spock said I must lookout for. .. But its just its my own decisions that put me in trouble .