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Sooooo, It's About That Time... Again

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Smile

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Hating everything. Not finding joy in anything. Locked myself in my room. Fam in the living room laughing and talking... Grating on my nerves.

Friends wedding coming up. Fattest I've ever been. Feel so ugly. AM so ugly.

Panic attacks have taken over my life. Meds aren't helping. Had some alcohol after months of abstaining. Feel like sh!t.

Family doesn't understand so they're constantly unintentionally triggering me.

Friends get me more but afraid of offloading too much... Don't want to lose friendships. Already lost one to this. Or maybe she was just a crappy friend to begin with :)

Thinking of going off into the sunset of this universe. Don't think this place holds much joy for me anymore. Perhaps if once we due there's another "space" it'll be kinder to me.

And no... I'm NOT calling a hotline
 
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