What do body memories feel like?

[Pencil]

TB, my history with Ts is splattered all over this forum - suffice to say that every member here is a stand-in :D

Yes, my head actually gives tiny, tiny jerks. And then it is followed by a feeling of cowering, of wanting to hide, of wanting to get very far away. Really pisses me off!!

 

[MadamPrez]

For me, my PTSD does not relay body memory as the exact same pain in the respective areas. Instead, it travels to different parts of my body (most often my stomach) and comes in sharp pains, when I recall the events. My most recent encounter was last week at my therapist's office when I was doing some reprocessing, and it's been returning in the days since.

 

[mark-n-phx]

My understanding from SRA and sexual abuse lead me to believe that body memories are stored in the mind just like the memories of the abuse itself.
Right now, I am working through very painful memories and my PCP put me on Hydrocone, now tried 2 at once.....nothing! Pain still climbing and wide awake. For me, body memories are stored the same as abuse memories. If we experienced them then, I'm convinced we would have died. Like the memories of the abuse, then we could not handle/process them, but now we can.
Mark

 

[Richard Meyer]

I've heard alot recently about body memories and have found little on the subject. I was wondering i...

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)
Yes. I fell the anal tearing from my childhood rape. I often check for blood and other fluids.
2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?
I am 100% back experiencing the trauma. After what feels like an eternity (actually a few seconds) I find signs of technology to ground me into the present.
3. Are they painful?
Sorry, yes they are.
4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm?
The horror of being trapped and raped happen every time.
5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?)
Yes, until grounding can begin.
6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?
They are reexperienced rather than remembered.
7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?
They are directly tired to triggers. Churches, dark stairwells, etc.

Thank you so much for your insight and help!

 

[Deleted member 33023]

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)

No I can't feel what is going on. My body will move before my mind. Example...dentist offices trigger me (not only did I have abuse parents they sent me to an abusive dentist after a tooth got infected when I was 8-12) and the last time I was there I did a wild Chinese Action Hero move by flipping by body like a gymnast while in a prone position and before I knew it I was out the door freaking out. I am now amazed that a 48 year old woman who never exercises except walking was able to do that without hitting the light and the three people surround me.

2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?

At the time it is overwhelming crazy fear which is unexplainable. Thinking back I can say when I am triggered I emotionally feel like the little girl who is helpless and hurting but all balled up so it is very confusing to untangle all the emotions.

3. Are they painful?

Physically I am unable to breath, my body shakes uncontrollably, my heart is beating out of my chest so much it shakes my body, I can't speak, can't think, want to vomit, punch anyone near me to protect myself. It is almost as if I was chased by someone with a knife. Emotionally I'm so freaked out I can't make a coherent sentence.

4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm?

Depends on the situation. It happens without thinking sometimes. If I am stuck in and unable to leave the situation and am forced to face things I don't want to my mind drifts. I feel floaty like I'm really not there...almost dreamlike state. Once over I will be unable to remember anything.

Other times like at the dentist I have overwhelming powerful emotions that make my body move before I can even think for myself.

5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?)

Two realities here. One in my mind in the way back (fear) and one in the front which is reality (logic). The fear overwhelms logic and the two become the same. Hard to explain but if you overlapped what is happening now with what happened way back...all at the same time.

6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?

Body memories are done without thought process. It is run by fear for me. It is extreme fear...like being hunted and you have to run. Normal everyday sensations are real and nice and I get to pick which sensations I want to have.

7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?

Yes. I used not have as many triggers. Now there are many and my body reacts (like jerking or hypersensitive hearing) before my mind even knows what is happening. I compare it to when you lift your hand to someone and they jerk away automatically by reflex. So if you are relaxed and someone lifts their hand to brush their hair and it triggers a memory of being slapped I can be super relaxed and in a nanosecond in a panic mode.

Hope this helps.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)

There is a specific incident that occurred repeatedly that when I think about it in any amount of detail it feels like it's happening again.

2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?

For me yes it's mixed with memories of the incident.

3. Are they painful?

For me this body memory isn't physically painful and it wasn't physically painful when the incident occurred. Although it was extremely distressing when it happened and I get the same amount of distress when I have the body memory.

4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm

Yes I have strong emotions with it.

5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?)

I can't feel the exact amount of pressure or the person's skin but I do feel the same physical sensations that I initially felt during
the incident.

6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?

They differ in the way that one is a memory and one is actually happening in the moment. And when someone touches your hand you feel their skin and the amount of pressure applied and the physical sensation of their touch. With a body memory for me it's the sensation without physically feeling their skin or the pressure of their touch. It's a memory of that.

7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?

For me they're like a physical flashback of my physical body. And for me it's triggered in a very similar way as a flashback. It doesn't seem to spontaneously happen for me. It seems to happen when I think in any amount of detail about or remember the specific incident or sometimes even the person involved.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

I often have this 'sense' of being slapped in my face/against my head. There's no pain or real physical s...

I just came across this thread because I feel the same sensation as if my father is hitting me. I feel the burning, my eye twitches, my neck tightens, my shoulder jumps to protect me from the blow. I'm gonna process it tomorrow in therapy using Wendy and see how things go.

 

[Sideways]

:sorry:Stupid question (& I got no problem with sounding completely ignorant!) - how do body memories differ from tactile flashbacks??:tdown::sick:

 

[Pencil]

@Ragdoll Circus I have no clue. My guess is that it's one and the same thing

 

[Sideways]

@Pencil - I could kiss you! ('cept smart phones aren't quite that advanced yet!)

Here's me starting to panic - omg, body memories? I don't have any body memories...or maybe I do and I just don't realise...maybe my body's been trying to tell me something for the last 20 years and I just haven't been listening...maybe I've got all the answers but I'm too out of touch with my body to realise...oh help, I can't reach my body memories...argh!

Tactile flashbacks = body memories. Phew. Much easier. Everything's okay!

 

[Pencil]

:D @Ragdoll Circus

Not knowing what's going on with your body is par for the course. We live in our heads.

So glad i said something useful. I'd really like a follow up from you.

And, admin, why don't we have kissy icons?

 

[Sideways]

My body? (Looks down) Oh, that thing. Follows me round like a stray cat. I try not to give it too much attention - I get enough trouble from my head without worrying about all the obnoxious things my body's doing to make me feel like crap...(says the girl who just spent a week in bed with cluster migraines!)