I wonder, though, if killing or mutilating animals in order to torture or terrorize someone else would ever exist in a context that didn't already qualify as CritA? My brain just keeps throwing out CritA examples; DV, Trafficking, K&R... & then my mind just shuts off.
I dont understand much of this stuff, i stopped researching it a long time ago cuz it was confusing me; I thought I was understanding it better lately, but then got re-confused here recently; so I might he completely wrong or off but, in my view (have no idea if its Crit. A or something else):
I was forced to slowly kill an animal (kittens usually but rabbits and other small animals were involved) and drained their blood;
That is the single most traumatizing item in my past, i think. Their screams are heard in my head every night, I wake up to in many times a night, and though it was the only ritual I never continued into adulthood, I found myself just last week petting my cat and watching tv and had no clue that I was, with my hand, finding her jugular in her neck like i was taught to back then, automatically (not hurting her, she was purring but i didnt know i was doing it).
I think, that with this single item, forced through age 12 to 18 that it would have caused PTSD.
Again, it all confuses me and i dont know if thats correct and im not researched on PTSD because it all confuses me but thats just my thought.
Other stuff was done with them, with the blood etc, just a thought and probably a wrong thought...